I was 16 years old in 1997. For some reason I was also considered a computer expert. Not because I thrashed my sister’s computer a year ago and found out the hard way that deleting .dll files just because they don’t fit in anywhere are a strict no-no, but because I had a couple of CDs that enabled me to install cool shit like Netscape Navigator, mIRC, ICQ and anti-virus softwares. If you are 17 years old today, you wouldn’t believe the shit I got away with just by emphasizing the importance of anti-virus softwares to unsuspecting folks a decade ago.
Anyway that year I was in Form 4, dubbed the honeymoon period after PMR and before SPM examinations. New teachers were assigned to our class just because we weren’t as important as we were in Form 3, and we wouldn’t be important until we get to Form 5. There was a new teacher in school, let’s call her Puan Mariah Carey (PMC). We thought that PMC was rather rad at that time, for she never wore tudungs, her face was plastered with inches of make-up, her clothes were fashionable and flamboyant, and she seemed to have a different pair of shoes for every day of the year. She was not a very inspiring teacher, but she was always good for a chat during lessons.
One day PMC told me that she had subscribed to the Internet, and was facing some problems with her home computer. She asked if I could help her fix it. I was rather apprehensive — even at that age I knew I was pretending to be computer-savvy, but I had to say yes because… well, she was my teacher, right?
So PMC drove me and a couple of my friends to her house. I sat down in front of her computer, fiddled with this and that, tried to figure out what was wrong… if I remember correctly, I installed Netscape Navigator for her and told her to use that instead of Internet Explorer. Somehow that seemed to fix the problem, and all was well with the world.
I had to restart the computer, so I closed every application I had opened. Out of nowhere, her desktop wallpaper began to load… slowly… like an artist unveiling his million dollar masterpiece… Next thing I knew, I was face-to-face with a photo of a naked white chick on her knees blowing a man standing up equipped with a large and fully-erected cock.
PMC froze, then went red in the face, then scrambled to switch off the monitor. “HOW DID IT GET THERE, OMG I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, I DON’T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE, I NEVER SAW IT IN MY LIFE BEFORE, OMG I SWEAR I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS THERE!!!!!”
As the PC was restarting, I calmly fibbed, “Oh don’t worry PMC, maybe it was a virus, maybe it downloaded itself and attached itself to your desktop, these things happen, don’t worry about it, other people had the same stuff also…”
After I switched her desktop wallpaper to that of a G-rated image, I tried to make light of the embarrassment that she was obviously feeling.
“Oh it’s a very common thing PMC. Almost everyone’s first instinct when they get on the Internet is to look for porn… because it’s a novelty… it’s nothing one… then after a while they get tired of it and they will move on to more interesting stuff… don’t worry, it’s only normal… other people are like that one… nothing to be embarrassed about… haha, I won’t tell anyone because it’s very normal… ”
“Ya you are right,” PMC bashfully replied, “I just wanted to see what it is, it doesn’t do anything for me, I was just curious, I don’t even like porn, I never looked at it after that…”
And I never looked at her the same way again, mostly because I kept remembering her mortified face and I’d crack up.
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This post was written for Lainie, who wanted me to blog about harmful pornographic content on the Internet for Take Back The Tech. Obviously I am flippant to it. Unless you are dealing with child pornography, then you deserve to die.
Haha, I can’t imagine my teachers/lecturers looking at porn, what more be face-to-face with the actual material that they… entertain themselves with.
Don’t imagine I could ever look at them the same way again without having horrid mental images!
year 2000. entering class, add maths teacher holding a document folder. few cases of cds fell out onto floor. teacher’s pet rushed to pick them up for beloved teacher. the cds were of porns.
LOL classic
Wallpaper!!!? Say hi to IE Active desktop. 😉
Back in 1997, only adults are patient enough to stay on the slow internet line to download porns. 😉
the internet owes its advancement to porn.
no pr0n, no internet!
I discovered porn on my second day using the Internet.
First day was spent on Yahoo! looking for Transformers websites.
That must have been quite educational.
Omg SO FUNNY!
1999/2000, was welcomed into the world of online porn and sex chat. Still visits certain bookmarked porn sites for occasional porn fix. American/European porn is all about fucking and bad acting, Japanese porn is an educational mind trip.
asianfriendfinder was all the rage then!
p/s : drop from my chair with tears….kikikikikkakakakaka kekekek hehehe hahaha… pensan la.
Aiyooh, 26 oridi and and will be left on the hook as the “unsold duck” soon!
No wonder you are like that one.. look at your teachers.. all one kind.
Porn! Porn! Porn! [LOL] I
Wahahahaa…. hamsap err…. I suppose quite a percentage of adults surf the net for porn one time or another… so, teachers or not, should not be an exception lor…
Anyway, I am not that lucky to be born later and have teachers who are hip and happening. I come from those era where computer is just something you see on flash gordon and some of my teachers are NUN!! Sigh.. how interesting can life be leh…..
alynna: bwhahha it’s almost the same category of … imagining your own parents lmao
moo_t: thats why they created broadband
js & xypre: agreed!
vincent: discovered? not actively looking? heh
GS: not really…
Z: lol i used to love sammyboy’s delphi forums… or some delphi singaporean forums.. had all the good bits
ahseng: hmm i never heard of it till a couple years ago tho :X
observer: if i’m not worried, why should you be? 🙂
suertes: only one teacher out of so many lah .. i had some excellent teachers
notty gurl: ooOoo i only had one nun teacher… loved her to bits
Our association are very encouraged by the proliferation or internet pornography among the men in our population.
We sincerely hope that by this, it will increase the arousal level of an increased number of legal and illegal immigrants (Indons, Banglas, Nepalese, etc.) and local men (Malays, Chinese, Indians) in this country. Some of whom happens to live, work or lepak near the vicinities where our sisters, daughters, nieces, wives, girlfriends and other female relatives & acquaintances also happens to live, work or lepak.
And like they say, “sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit.†Or in some of our cases, GUNUNG BERAPI! If you catch my drift….
They also say that, “if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.†Hopefully this will be part of the the solution the problem of not many aroused men (immigrant & local)in our population. (Other solutions to this problems are things such as sexy women in public and in the mass media)
Yours sincerely,
Bambang Trihardmodjo,
Acquisitions Committee,
NAILMEN,
National Association of Immigrant and Local Men of Malaysia
what the fuck?