At Jaya Grocer’s fruits section, I did a double take – they were selling strawberries almost as big as my hand, a punnet for just RM15!

I was flushed with excitement. Picked one up and put it close to my nose. Gotta have a whiff to know if they’d ripe and tasty. It’s all in the smell.

Strawberries from the USA, the Driscoll’s brand (the ones that are readily available to us) often do not have that distinctive strawberry smell. Maybe because they have to travel further. Strawberries from everywhere else – South Korea, Australia etc are hits and misses. You just have to do the whiff test to get the strawberries that you deserve.

You’re probably thinking, eww gross, Suanie smelled the strawberries that I bought, yuck! Well. Let’s approach this from a couple of angles. Yes, you might be miserable, miffed even, knowing that you ended up with berries I said no to. This could be as bad as finding out that your one last chocolate chip cookie is moldy. I like chocolate chip cookies, especially the ones that my Mummy makes, so I’d be really darn pissed off if that happened to me. Thus I’m able to project my hypothetical displeasure unto a vision of you discovering that you ended up with did-not-pass-Suanie’s-whiff-test berries.

I’m sorry.

Then again, imagine what would happen if *I* ended up with less than perfect berries. Calling all the demons and devils of the universe, hell hath no fury like me finding out that my expensive, imported fruits did not make the mark. There would be storms of anger, brought on by clouds of wrath, unleashing thunders of excruciating pain to… whoever unfortunate enough to be near me at that time. And yes, tables will be flipped.

But really, I don’t think you’ll ever find out if you got my rejected berries. What are the odds?

So I ended up with these BIIGGGGGGGGGGG strawberries and I was SOOOOO excited to eat them! Here’s what one of them looks like in my hand:

Are you thinking, what’s the big freakin’ deal? I tell you what the big freakin’ deal is: I HAVE BIG HANDS! SO THESE STRAWBERRIES ARE MONSTERS! Perhaps they are abnormalities, mutations from aliens predators Sigourney Weaver. Whatever.

LOOK.AT.THIS.BIG.ASS.STRAWBERRY!

It was sweet! Ripe! Delicious! The smell? Intoxicating, like the beautiful boy I had a crush on many years ago, where you just want to bury your face in his neck and be happily drugged with pheromones.

This is where it gets a little weird for some people’s standards. At this stage of my life, I’m aware that I’ve managed to get away with slight eccentricities because everyone’s allowed a certain level of oddity.

That was why my next thought was, hey let me take photos of what else I can fit in my hand!

Once you get over the d*ck jokes arising from the gutters your mind, you’ll realise that I am not f*cking around.

Here’s an air conditioner remote control in my hand.

It’s set at 25/26 degree Celcius because I have complex, stringent requirements for temperature control.

Here’s a calculator in my hand.

Now scroll back and see that strawberry photo again. You will agree with me that it was a big strawberry, yes?

Here’s a bottle of fish oil supplements in my hand.

I should probably start taking them.

Here’s a Douglas Adams book in my hand.

There is a point to be made! It is…

There is a smithy in Sri Gading where my grandparents live. Well at least one of them still does, the other lives on in our hearts 🙂

So I’ve always wanted to catch the Sri Gading blacksmiths in action. You mean I’ve never seen men take on tough objects and bend them to their wills? Ha ha ha. No.

But am I excited about blacksmithing? Not quite. My knowledge on this is next to zero, any information obtained is through painful (but admittedly basic and superficial) Internet research.

My interest lies in the men (and some women) who keep at this dying trade, the same folks who labour in the background and contributed to nation building by supplying farm and estate workers with tools to carry out their work.

You see, during my great-grandparents’ time, jungles were cleared to make way for rubber estates, then later African oil palm trees to be owned by Genting Plantations. Back then, every other anak Sri Gading was either a rubber tapper, or farmer, or someone who needs to clear out jungles at some point in their lives, my late grandfather included.

Guess who kept their parang and various tools sharp and shiny?

Blink and you’ll miss the smithy

The plantation business has since dwindled and people moved out to seek their fortunes elsewhere. Today, along the rows of old zinc-roofed shops, those that remain open supply villagers with bare necessities, sufficient for day-to-day activities.

One of them is the Lais, a Hakka family of blacksmiths that started their business in the 1950s. As a kid, I’d never noticed their shop for the candy store next door was more appealing.

The business name is Hoe Lee. The brothers are neither Hoe nor Lee

This past Chinese New Year, I found myself spending more time in Sri Gading than usual. So I mustered the courage to go say hi to the blacksmiths, and to get their permission to take photos. Why do I make it sound like a daunting task? Well, I dislike having MY photo taken, so I can’t imagine too many people would be comfortable with it, more so if it’s a stranger asking.

… Then again, I’m no stranger! Or at least my Mum isn’t. Like any opportunistic child, I took advantage of my Mum’s history in Sri Gading to approach the Lais.

“Hi, I’m the youngest daughter of [my mother’s name] who lived at the back of the road, do you know her?”

One of the blacksmiths replied, “Of course we know her, we grew up together HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAA!”

And thus, the ice was broken.

The other blacksmith chipped in, “We know who you are too! But.. err, you look different now….”

Can you blame them though? The last time they saw me, I looked like this:

Sup?

At the peak of the good ol’ times, there were as many as four smithies in Batu Pahat, kept busy with endless demands for working tools. Today, just the Lai brothers remain, taking in orders for tools that require constant repairing. The only relative carrying on the family trade is a younger cousin, blacksmithing some 65 kilometres away in Pontian.

Tools for sale. They make working tools, they are not artisan sculptors

The elder Lai brother, A-Shan was welcoming. A 70+ years old jolly man, he laughed plenty, was curious as to why I’d want to take photos, then laughed some more and told me that SO MANY PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE THEIR PHOTOS, SO MANY!

His wife promptly brought out all the newspaper coverage they received from Berita Harian and some Chinese dailies. There were also framed photos sent by a photographer who won a contest using the same shots.

You pull this thing and the fire gets started. Sounds fun, but it is real hard work!

A blacksmith’s tongs

“They asked for my permission to take photos. I told them, take lah, take lah! I’m just doing my usual job anyway! And then they took from SO MANY ANGLES.”

“They climb on the chair. Then they WENT DOWN and CRAWLED on the FLOOR! Imagine that!” he recalled in disbelief.

A-Shan laughed every time he told his stories

His younger brother, A-Xiang who was in his mid to late 60s was quieter. He spoke a little with my Mum, who was his classmate in primary school.

Blazing fire in the forge, softening the iron tools to be repaired

Years of experience in A-Shan’s eyes

At first glance, it looked fool-proof – two men using fire to soften metal, then shaping it by hammering the s- out of it on the anvil, then cutting the end bits as finishing. What could be so difficult about it?

Turns out, metal shaping requires real sifu skills. If you shape a metal that is too hot, you will instantly spoil it. But if the metal is not hot enough, it will not be shaped properly and will even break.

How long do these repaired tools last? “THREE MONTHS!” A-Shan gleefully replied, because he was adorable like that, “THEN IT GETS BLUNT FROM ALL THE WORK THEY DO. THEN THEY HAVE TO COME BACK AGAIN!!”

I watched as the brothers worked, marveled at how well they moved in and out of each other’s way to get the job done. It was almost machine-like, the flow graceful and effortless as they danced to each other’s rhythm without slowing down their pace.

Old school blacksmithing is team work

That was my Mum making a joke

Cutting the metal. They made this cutter themselves, one of its kind

That was a fun hour with the Lai brothers. They cheerfully told us that once they are gone (i.e. depart from this world), there would be no one left to continue the trade in Batu Pahat. Well well! No one like the two of them, that’s for sure.

Go make a trip to see them and say hi to them in Sri Gading. Take lots of photos, they’d love it!

I didn’t know him very well; in fact until last year, we’d never spoken unless it was for me to call him ‘Uncle’ and him to acknowledge with a nod.

My father’s youngest brother, he was the spitting image of their father. He worked hard, he loved his family and his family sure damn well loved him.

Goodbye my uncle. Goodbye.

My Dad turned 70 yesterday, wahey!

Though if you talked to him about it, he’d sniff and go into a rambling of how nobody knows his REAL date of birth. It was 19th November, then it was 20th November. And at one point in his childhood, it was sometime in August…

So we stuck to what we know. I called him on his birthday to wish him a good one. True to my Dad’s stoic character…

Me: *sings the entire happy birthday song*
My Dad: … what else do you want?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA NOTHING BYE!

The big birthday bash was 2 weeks ago in our hometown, Batu Pahat. Most of our relatives and my Dad’s close friends were able to make it, much appreciated!

My friends Joyce and Shirley came to Batu Pahat to join the celebrations. Naturally I got them to work 😛 <3
Getting things in order

Earlier I asked Melissa to help with the birthday banner. Being the creative, artsy type that she is, she handmade the big HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY words.

I’d printed photo collages, mostly of my Dad being happy (?!). Mel framed these, which we stuck to the feature wall. Very nice!

A reminiscing time for all.

One of my high school seniors, Feng Nee has set up her own business making and selling specialty cakes in Batu Pahat. So the cake stuff, that’s her responsibility! 😀

Each guest would get a cupcake topped with fondant of ‘longevity’ and peach. The main cake has monkeys (because my Dad was born in the year of the Monkey), peaches (longstanding Chinese symbol for longevity) and our surname in Chinese, written in the traditional way.

I love our surname, so much so that I know how to write it in Chinese!
#yesibasicallycannotwriteinchinese

If you’re looking for DELICIOUS specialty cakes in Batu Pahat, go for Serendipity! Everybody LOVED the cake and cupcakes, and the design was simply too precious!

The cake and cupcakes added to the party atmosphere.

In between dishes, a few of my Dad’s closest friends went up to talk about my Dad. Mostly about his ‘cool’ character and their friendship of 50+ years. They were gracious and said some very nice things. It was also refreshing to get their perspective as friends, as we’re so used to him being ‘husband’ or ‘father’.

By the way, my Dad refused to sit at the main table. When he arrived at the restaurant, he headed straight to his friends’ tables and refused to move, hahaha!

Some of my Dad’s oldest and closest friends

My aunt, who’s possibly the closest with my Dad as they lived together for a while also said nice things about him. Among all his siblings, it’s likely that my Dad conversed with her the most.

My aunt, our family friend and my eldest sister were not microphone-shy.

Then everybody toasted to my Dad’s good health!

A roomful of relatives and friends to celebrate my Dad’s birthday, yay!

It was a really fun, enjoyable party. During the planning, I could swear that my Dad got mildly enthusiastic in preparing the guest list! So out of character for him!

It was even more special that my Dad and his friends got together that day, as one of them just recently left us. I really appreciate that they have the memory of this occasion where they were wholly together as a group.

Good friends, good times 🙂

My family really came together and pulled his party off. Thanks yah! Especially to those footing the major bills *cough* generous sisters *cough* 😉 😛

And my friends who came and helped out! Gracias!

We should take a photo like this every year until we’re 70 or dead

Here, have a photo of my Dad blowing the candles on his birthday cake.

And of my wonderful, wonderful parents! Semoga sihat sejahtera selalu.

Thank you everybody who came. Thank you for taking the time to wish my Dad a happy birthday. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence livened up the party and made it a fun one. Thank you.

Like many poor sods, I’ve been down with the flu/fever/the works. Could it be the hazy weather? Or simply that the gods of good health do not favour us? Fear not; once we are rested and recovered, we shall feast, be merry and take the world by storm…. again!

For those who aren’t sick, stop showing off.

(Way) before I fell sick, we were up at Genting for an infamous Grill Sergeant Lance’s BBQ. It was a beauuuuuuuutiful day and here’s a photo for your envy.

Lance’s signature steaks are seasoned with sea salt and pepper, then whisky-flamed. It can get rather expensive, look at what he uses to flame his meat.

But the end result is always the most delicious, melt-in-your-mouth, smoky-tasting medium rare meat. I was always a medium steak kind of person. Then Lance said, “MY BBQ, MY RULES!” and I had to adapt to eating it medium rare.

Best coercion ever.

That’s the Cheang brothers. One just got married, one just welcomed a new baby. Joy and merriment for all!

Not far from The Cheangs’ abode, there stood a rose apple tree blossoming with ripe fruits. There were just so many that the owners gave up wrapping each fruit in a plastic bag. Many of the fruits fell off the tree, just lying on the ground begging to be eaten!

My Dad would have really enjoyed this rose apple tree. We have one at home but it is nowhere as fruitful as this one.

Ling got married! Some of the Twestival KL folks were there. We had popcorn, The Last Polka ice-cream, pretzels, beer.. all this before dinner! I love these kind of weddings 😀

The gorgeous bride with Chee Ching, Jason, Fiona and me

Kedai Makanan Nam Chun is an institution in Lucky Garden, Bangsar. The well-known corner coffee shop hosts Aunt Christina, who made me my first bowl of Sarawak laksa. Talk about being a different kind of laksa! The broth is rich, aromatic, spicy and peppery. You get enough broth to barely cover the vermicelli, chicken, prawns, omelette and bean sprouts.

Later my friend Ruk made me the best Sarawak laksa I ever had. But she doesn’t make it for me anymore so I have to go back to Aunt Christina.

By chance, we discovered that the fried kuey teow at Nam Chun is equally as delicious. So good that the mother and son who shared our table revealed that they go there every weekend just for the fried kuey teow. Is that so? We must find out for ourselves!

It was quite tasty but I’m not sure if I’d eat it every weekend.

I love bread and butter pudding. So I tried to make bread and butter pudding. The first 3 attempts were colossal failure. The first 2 times, I had set the oven to grill mode. So I was wondering why the top bread layer kept getting burnt. The 3rd time, I didn’t have enough bread to soak up the custard.

The 4th time, I used a mixture of croissant and bread. Here it is!

The top crust of the croissant was really nice. Gave it a crunch. The inside was too soggy for me; maybe my bread was too thin or not stale/dry enough. I gave some to my grandmother, my mother and the kids. They LOVED it. I don’t know why. They probably wanted me to feel better. Family tends to do nice things like that. Well, I don’t. Clearly the universe is sending me a message, and it says “STOP. BAKING.”

Ok ok I hear you. No more baking.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I finally found Thai khao kha moo in Klang Valley!!! REJOICE!!!

Khao Kha Moo is stewed pork leg with pickled mustard greens, boiled egg and served with a sweet sauce. It’s the simplest combination, but by far my favourite Thai food! Lai Thai in Happy Mansion, Seksyen 17 sells it. They use a mixture of brown and white rice and the egg is just hard-boiled (instead of semi-hard boiled that is commonly found in Bangkok). And if you want a mixture of lean meat with fatty bits, you have to ask for it.

So it’s not QUITE the same, but it’s the BEST you can get in Klang Valley. But who’s complaining? I’m not!!

And you have to speak either Thai or Cantonese with the lady boss, she doesn’t understand anything else.

Apparently I asked for an individual serving of the fatty bit

Saw this sign at SS2 mamak. Want to give it a go?

Did you notice that along the North-South highway, all the ‘SLOW DOWN’ signs have been updated with the cow sign?

I guess it works because psychologically, crashing into a cow is scarier than seeing a grinning skull suddenly appearing in the middle of the road. Works for those who don’t believe in the supernatural too.

But there I was, yentering away to my mother that it’s so stupid because there are no cows along the NS highway! I mean, this is not the east coast road where yes, it’s very likely that a herd of cows would be lingering in the middle of the road!

Then before reaching Seremban, we saw a whole lot of them cows at the side of the road. I guess the people who placed the signs did know what they were doing.