Ever since childhood I’d always imagined ghosts. Like if I stare at a window long and hard enough, a sinister face would appear in all its pale glory. A glance at a darker corner in the house would bring a shadow floating by.
It’s almost like I want to see them. But I don’t. I really, really don’t. I have no idea of how I would react if I would to see a ghost face to face. Scared shitless, probably. And actually I don’t really want to. But I can’t help thinking about them, especially when I am alone. And that’s hardly an unavoidable situation.
Then there are dreams. I hardly have happy dreams, unless I make up scenarios to myself before going to bed, slowly fantasizing being ridiculously rich and beautiful and having the world at my feet, then slowly drifting into unconsciousness. Sometimes the good dreams stay on. More often than not, they morph into something utterly horrible that I would wake up suddenly, half expecting to see something at the end of my bed looking at me.
When my paternal grandmother passed away in my early teens, I had the most surreal dream — she was just beside me. Then she suddenly grabbed hold of me. The feeling was so real and quite unpleasant, but I don’t think I can call that a nightmare because she is family and she loved me greatly. Ever since then, I’d been afraid to go past a section in our house where a framed photo of her was placed. Even now, when I am home and awake in the middle of the night, I would sneak a peak at her photograph, almost daring her still image to smile at me. Most probably I would be fucking scared and stunned, but there’s just… something that I can’t quite describe.
Perhaps it is because that photograph was used for her funeral. I don’t get the same feeling when I see other photographs with her in it. Funeral photographs are always so… direct. The dead looking at you with open eyes.
And dreams of falling. And being in a burning car, unable to get out, melting away with it. Scenes that make me cry so hard in my dreams that when I wake up it was almost unfair that it was not real.
I wish my dead and unknown would leave me forever. They are after all, dead and unknown. If I had the choice, I would not return to cause my loved ones such stress. Not that they are gone forever. Shared memories will linger. But spiritual presence is another matter. The living has enough personal demons to fight. No need to add to it.
there’s this saying where when one passes away, when he gets to some gates somewhere, he will visit one of the family members in dreams to let him know right?
don’t worry little minions, let god tell you a story
” When you have an accident, you lose your arms or legs, you wake up in the hospital bed thinking your arms or legs is still attach, you try to move it. Your brains will have the mental image that is moving until you see is gone. Thats called GHOST limbs.
Same goes for the dead/Gone. Your mind still wants them to be with you/seen or felt. for whatever greater reasons it play, you just subconsiously play that part of their features/figures in your head.
like their nose, shadow, and so forth. until one day you realise by seeing them brings comfort to your mortal soul, you’ll be at ease.
Do not be afraid, more you’re afraid, more you do silly things the more is drilled into your head”
end of story
fantasizing being ridiculously rich and beautiful and having the world at my feet,
Why do I see that as a nightmare for me?
[Actually, I know why … but it’s too complex!]
I guess it beats my fantasy of eventually having sex one day … oh darn, did I say that out loud!!! 🙂
Anywat, being serious for a second,
dreams of falling. And being in a burning car,
Just indications that you have problems in your everyday life. [I get re-occurring dreams of being chased everywhere – which incidently is the same sort of dream I get when I go unconscious from loss of blood].
If you find yourself in a dream where you are falling, or in a burning car (or a burning car which is falling), and you realise it is a dream, then try to take command of it.
I don’t know if it has been proven, but I have heard that if you do take command of a dream, then you can actually overcome the problems you are facing. ie You find yourself in a dream and your trapped in a burning car – you then take command of the dream, you imagine that you have a huge firemans hose in the car, and can turn it on (hmmm … that has Freudian overtones too … um … let’s not go there!) … you use the hose to extinguish the flames and then get out of the car.
The suposed psychology to changing the dream is that the issue which is being fought by your subconscious (ie causing the bad dream) will seem less significant in real life – ie it becomes more of a molehill than a mountain. As such, you are able to tackle it more confidently in real life and actually solve the issue.
[Or maybe you’ve just been reading my NaNoWriMo novel too much! Darn Demons always attacking in Eddie’s sleep!!!!]
i too have nightmares. and quite often when i wake up, i try not to open my eyes as i always have this feeling that “something” is watching me.
i’ll recite some quranic verses till i fall asleep again.
i WANT to see a ghost. but i’m scared too at the same time. i want to face my fears but how to face it when what i’m fearing is the unknown.
i get dreams of people dying alot. usually my family members. and also quite a few of my dreams have come true eg thru deja vu.
I believe that dreams are directly related to our sub-conscious mind. Therefore when we sleep, our unconscious carries it out and expells your hidden desires. In fact this is what Freud also said when he was analyzing his theories on dreams. But of course many criticized it because his analysis was closely related to sexual desires.
Personally, I too have experience nightmares and there times when I wake up crying. Dreams can be so real that it’s as if you were really there. It can be quite daunting. After my late sister died, I constantly had drems of her. She was talking to me as if she hadn’t died, and there were numerous occassions after her death that I kept hearing her whispering in my ears. It was VERY real.
I’m still late for SPM – 13 years after my last paper.
if you’re dreaming it means you’re over-sleeping… multiple cascaded dreams are the most scarry ( the ones where you thought you woke up but then woke up to another dream again…and again…until you “finally” woke up)
watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if you want to know what I mean.
*shudders* Scary.
And hell yes, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is insanely awesome.
Your blog looks alot more sullen now.
where are the fries and hoes and starbucks la?
i dont mind the nightmares. but all i really want are wet dreams. those are too rare 🙁
eh nice layout leh!
Yea, try waking up from a nightmare where you had just boiled a real life cat (fur intact) together with your lovely Chinese clear soup.
Here’s a real life horror story. While we’re all in Nederlands a few years back, we lived in a family’s relative house. My uncle woke up one day to pee in the wee hours in the morning. The toilet is situated past the hall. As he was passing the hall, he saw a “glowing” Dutch man reading newspapers there. While brushing it off, my uncle entered the toilet (without locking the door). When he finished and turned back, the ghost was sitting on the toilet floor by the door in pity.
My uncle ran out frantic.
No scare la. Always remember if u kena killed by the ghost, we also become ghost and can revenge somemore but if the ghost kena killed by us…it’s gone! Therefore, we actually get 2 chances but the ghost only 1 chance ! 2-1 why scare ?
well i have encounted with my grandfather last time. that time i could’nt pay for last respect, because my left leg was cement. the whole leg. the third night he came in my dream , to be honest i know that time he already dead. i still remember just like yesterday.
There’s no ghost, dude. They only exist if you think they exist. 🙂
Amen to that.
If you hear funny noises downstairs – just me having private karaoke, ah? No need to call ghostbusters, yell for me to shaddapleh. HAHAHAHAHA.
I can understand about freaky dreams. It gets to the point you’re even scared of sleeping because of what you might see. So you’re not alone and I hope your dreams will clear up soon.
Don’t worry, no such thing as ghosts (or God, for that matter, which makes it odd that he would be commenting first here).
If you want to have bizarre dreams, see if they have NyQuil available there. Take the full dose of that during the night, you’ll be asleep in probably 20-30 minutes, and – for me anyway – I have the most odd dreams, which are good fodder for writing.
If you want to stop having bad dreams, just drink yourself into a stupor each night. Alcohol tends to prevent the deep sleep required for vivid dreams. 🙂
I agree with Dabido.
The dreams where you can’e escape are ways your mind deals with stress in your life. It’s all stress related, and nothing more.