once upon a time – part two

If you’ve always wondered what wailing banshees sound like, feel free to drop by my place come Ryan’s shower time. Ryan sometimes cries when he does not get what he wants. Ryan sometimes whines when he’s told to do something that he does not want to do. Ryan ALWAYS screams when he has to go get himself cleaned. I have no doubt that our neighbours are well-acquainted with the loud howls and whimpers that come with his loathing of the shower two times a day.

I do not know what to make of this. It is not as if the kid has to do it himself, being privileged enough to have a kakak to wash him as if he was an after-dinner dirty dish. But mention to him, “Come Ryan, shower time!”, he turns into the most impossible lil’ tyke. To be precise, a most impossible kicking, yelling, screaming, crying, whining, pleading, sobbing lil’ tyke.

I related all this to a friend, who then suggested that I tell Ryan a story about boys who don’t shower. Basically adapting Johnny The Vegetarian Shark to Johnny The Dirty Shark, or something along the lines of. I thought it was a great idea, as I honestly didn’t think of it before. I decided to try it on Ryan that very night.

Once upon a time, there was a shark who lived in the ocean. His name was Johnny, and he has many friends because he is a vegetarian shark. That means he does not eat meat or fish, only fruits and vegetables. That’s why he has many friends who are fish, because they are not afraid of him. One day Johnny decided that he did not want to shower any more. So he stopped showering, and soon he became dirty and smelly. Then all his friends started to avoid him because they did not want to be friends with a dirty and smelly shark. Johnny became very sad and he cried. After a while, he realised that his friends were very important to him, and he wanted them back. So he decided to shower again. Then all his friends came back and Johnny was a happy clean shark again.

“Oh,” Ryan said slowly… “Now I want a second story!”
“But did you understand Ah Yi’s story just now? The shark didn’t shower, and he became dirty and smelly, then no one wants to play with him!”
“Yah. Now I want story about Winnie The Pooh!”
” -_-” Goodnight, bye.”

I bet my mom would know what to do. My mother is possibly the most fantastic storyteller I know. Sure, being a teacher and surrounded by kids all her working life helped, but I myself never had a teacher who could tell a tale the way my mom does. She makes up stories on the fly, she improvises on Pixar’s works, she uses different voices for different characters, she fuels your imagination with the most descriptive situations, sights and sounds. Like magic. It is little wonder that all kids love her. Ryan positively adores her, and if he could worship the ground that she walks on, he would.

One of my strongest childhood memories, as is my sisters’ is the Peter and Jane Ladybird series. It is very fundamental English — Peter, Jane, this is Peter, this is Jane, I like Peter, I like Jane, Jane likes Peter, Peter likes Jane and so on. Of course the difficulty and vocabulary increases with each book, and I read them well into high school. If you have kids, I suggest that you get the series for your children. They don’t really come cheap, but I think it’s a great way to introduce words and grammar to your kids. But make sure that you spend enough time to read aloud to them, else they’d just be yet another book with words and pictures.

My sister had purchased the entire Peter and Jane set for Ryan, and she and my mom have started reading it to him. So the other day, Ryan hauled up one of the books and brought it to me. “Can you tell me a story please, Ah Yi?” I took the book from his hands, we both laid down on my bed propped up by a stack of pillows and I began,

“It was a sunny day… Peter was still in bed… Mummy came in to wake Peter up… Wake up Peter, she said, the sun is up. You should be out in the sun. Peter woke up and asked, Is Jane up yet? No, said Mummy, I am going to get her to wake up now. Peter got out of his bed and went downstairs… bla bla bla you see the Mummy opened the window hor? You see the sun or not? What is this? What is Peter doing? What is the colour of his T-shirt? Where is Jane? Is her Mummy going to wake her up? Got sun hor.. they should go out and play hor….”

Me being one of the most impatient people I know, managed till about page 12 or so. By this time, Peter and Jane had already been up and about, gone to play with boats with their friends, rescued a stray toy boat with the help of a man with a real boat, went swimming and jumping into the pool, walked past a row of shops, walked up a hill and met a farmer who gave them an apple each, and reached their friends’ house which was a farm up the hill. Seriously, how many activities can a couple of children manage in a single day without adult supervision?

So I closed the book and proclaimed, “THE END!” Ryan looked at me, puzzled. He quietly took the book from my hand and flipped to where I’d stopped reading. Then he turned the page over…

“AH YI, GOT SOME MORE!!!”
“Where got.. no lah no more already, they went home already.”
“Got, got! Here, here!”
“Errr…”

At that moment, the maid knocked on my door for it was Ryan’s dinner time. Hurrah!

What? I think I’m an awesome auntie already, okay.