As Suanie Sees It

I was feeling kind of down, what with the haze and some recent personal events that I decided I should have something nice to eat today. Jaime asked me to join her in KL but I wasn’t feeling up to painting the town red, so I grabbed KY and Carol and we had dinner at Jack’s Place in 1U.

Starbucks was nearby, so I just popped in and grabbed a Coffee Jelly Frappucino.

It’s all Jaime’s fault - she introduced it to me and now I’m hooked! But you know the thing about Starbucks coffee is that it makes your pee smell of coffee as well. It’s not like seriously unpleasant, it just smells of coffee. Not like I intentionally go smell my pee, but I can’t help it lah since I’m in the same toilet, aren’t I? And I don’t get this smell with any other coffee, just Starbucks coffee. Weird, right?

Ermm.. since this is about food, I will try not to gross you out. But think about it and if you have similar experiences, let me know!

Anyway our food arrived…

This is button mushrooms stuffed with lobster and crab meat, covered in a light layer of cheese, all baked together-gether (RM18). Yummy!

The garlic bread on the side came with our soup. Definitely one of the better garlic breads I’ve had - a generous mix of butter and garlic, just nice. I had soup of the day (RM5) which was leek and potato, quite nice though the leek wasn’t very noticable. KY and Carol had cream of shitake mushroom soup or something like that; B-O-R-I-N-G! But not bad.

But you can see that Carol and KY were very excited like small kids like that. Sometimes you just can’t bring them out anywhere…. *sigh*

KY and I had the filet mignon (RM38.90 or something like that), it’s a reasonable sized slab of meat with a piece of beef bacon, a fat baked potato and some vege - one broccoli stem, 5 carrot slices and a couple slices of onion.

Both of us had it medium rare. Tender and juicy!

Carol had the Jack’s special steak, medium. No photos ‘coz it looked rather the same, just less bloody.

Of course I ate EVERYTHING!

Nothing better than food therapy.

H2G2 fans would appreciate this little scene we made up in honour of ‘The Restaurant at the End of the Universe’.

Spot the cow!

So if you were at 1u on Friday and you passed by these three people posing in front of the Jack’s Place signboard, no we are not n00bs from outer space. We aren’t suaku either.

We are just bloggers

… he would flay all the people involved in this movie, take out their organs and feed them to the blasted fishes. Himself included.

Warning 1: Spoilers ahead.
Warning 2: This movie sucks ass.

I swear I had no good expectations.

I knew the movie would not live up to the books.

I was prepared for it.

But everything has a limit.

I wasn’t prepared for the whole she-bang.

Most importantly, I wasn’t prepared for the extreme level of suckiness that supercedes Teenage Catgirls in Heat.

First of all, the opening scene dragged on for a long time. The dolphins were cute but not that cute. The point could have been delivered by half or three quarters of the total dolphin-featured scenes. That was the beginning of a cheeky rip-off version of Adam’s works.

I thought Mos Def was a little unnatural. Yes I understand that Ford Prefect is unnatural; what I mean is I didn’t think that Mos Def brought out Ford Prefect that well, his reactions seemed to be a second slower… I am no guru in acting skills nor films nor arts but heck! I paid for the movie ticket and that was what I thought!

And they totally massacred the whale scene, which incidentally is one of my favourite scenes!!! There are some things that are better appreciated in writing, like MY SPERM WHALE PLUNGING TO ITS MISERABLE AND UNTIMELY DEATH THINKING TO ITSELF! *sigh*

I like the CGI and technological what-not effects, the visual interpretation was quite good actually. And the scenes when the Infinite Improbability Drive took effect were hilarious. I like how they managed to bring out the Hitchhiker’s Guide the colourful way it was.

I didn’t like the Vogons. Well nobody really likes them in the first place but the evilness of the Vogons in this movie was too Hollywood. I didn’t like Trillian’s role here. Zaphod : too annoying though his flamboyance and high ego were duly noted. Thank you. Arthur… can’t complain. Marvin… disappointment. I just couldn’t connect Alan Rickman’s voice to Marvin. Sounding depressed is one thing, sounding like a snobbish upper class member of the Britain’s royal family is another. If you never read the book I highly doubt you would truly appreciate Marvin’s predicament.

Having said that, I understand it is not easy to bring a movie alive from a book such as the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The erratic journey that spawned 5 books is not easy to cover. Still it would have been good if they concentrate on only, say the first book OR the first and second book.

But there is a positive side of the whole movie going experience. We watched it at the 1U’s new GSC cinema - wah lau it was fab! Except for the slow service behind the popcorn counters, everything else was great. The seats were cool, the space was cool, the sound was cool. I think KY will later write about this as well and he might tell you how cool the parking was.

So anyway…

I as an ardent Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series fan beg you to please watch this movie. THEN read the books and you will better appreciate the genius that was Douglas Adams.

Thank you.

In the beginning the Internet was created. This has made a lot of people excited and been widely regarded as a ticket to fill the gaping holes in their much unsatisfactory lives, and thus generally a bad move.

It begins with a blog.

Tucked away in bloglivion is a sniping teeth-baring underpaid overworked scribbler who somehow makes a difference to Blogtopia Zone 92’s education system. For the sake of what is temporarily called an argument in… oh for the fun of it let’s call it the name-dropping plugging, we shall call the sniping teeth-baring underpaid overworked scribbler The Shorts-Wearing Elf.

The Blogger’s Guide to Blogtopia has this to say about Elves, “Mostly harmless”.

“This must be a Tuesday,’ said The Shorts-Wearing Elf to herself, sinking low over the grammatical mistake overload and bombastical-happy lines, “‘I never could get the hang of Tuesdays.”

Zpp zpp zpp.

Enter the most miserable of all miserable cowboys, The Cowboy, way past his gun-totting prime into the inevitable beckoning slums of saggy beer belly and wrinkly tits.

“Elf, we need to talk.”

“Talk.”

“I’ve been talking to the receptionist.”

“And?”

“She refused to have sex with me.”

“Nooooooo,” The Elf sniffed impassively.

“Just thought you would like to know.”

The Blogger’s Guide to Blogtopia has a few things to say on the subject of sex. Sex, it says, is about the most massively consequential act of communication between two, three or more Earthlings. Partly it fulfils a certain physical need; you can have sex on your couch, in your kitchen, in the toilet, at a foam party; you can have sex with just about anyone of the same or opposite sex; you can have sex at anytime of the day or night, all year long if you like.

More importantly, sex has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a stud or slut has more sex than what is deemed necessary for overall health reasons, the Earthling would automatically be regarded as also be in possesion of various tricks, styles, techniques and methods pertaining to foreplay, fellatio, penetration and the aftermath. Furthermore, the Earthling will then hailed as a successful hustler and will make new friends of all sorts, further increasing his or her chances of getting laid. What the ordinary Earthling will think is that any hustler worth his salt and knows where, when, what and how to poke is clearly an Earthling to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into sex slang, as in “Hey, you banged that batang keras hustler? There’s a force who really knows how to dispose the condom after.” (banged: make love, batang keras: desirable, dispose: courtesy, condom: necessary.)

For newbie Earthlings still in learning, guidance comes in the form of a teenage counselor.

“Not even when I told her that I am a lesbian.”

Resistance to a conversation is useless. Might as well pack up and go home.

The Cowboy sighed, “This is the end of my life as I know it. She was Teh One. Now I shall have to glue my heavy self onto a chair and download porn from Kara’s Playground.”

“No way, your beauty knows no bounds.”

“You think?”

“Chances for you to find Miss Right is pretty slim for everyone are but pitiful shadows next to your glowing image.”

“You really mean this don’t you? You are not saying all this because you feel sorry for me?”

“I feel sorry for all the rest of mankind. Jealousy will flood through the male population once you inevitably rise to fame.”

With that, The Elf left.

Blabber Bimbo Bambo the receptionist bears the sweet angelic smile of a hopeful innocent, the last remaining glitter of virtue in this Shangri-la of sin. That which means a sickening countenence to the rest of the lost sheep, almost simpering as she silently prays to be chosen. Chosen as what? Chosen by whom?

The Blogger’s Guide to Blogtopia has this to say about Being Chosen, “It will never happen to you.”

But the Blabber Bimbo Bambo was not to know of this. And so flashing her nauseating pearly whites like the guinea pig who does not know what was about to eat hit her, happily chirps,

“Good Tuesday!”

With a swift turn of the head, The Shorts -Wearing Elf glared sharply at Blabber Bimbo Bambo.

“What is so good about Tuesday?”

“Errr… ”

The Elf continued, “Is it just this Tuesday? Or is it every Tuesday? Does that mean Wednesday is better? What about Friday? Is that the best? How do you know Tuesday is good? Who says? Did you?”

“Well, I guess..” What she guessed in her limited supply of grey matter we would never know, for The Elf cuts in again.

“Does that mean you only do good things on good Tuesday? Or does bad things become good? Does that mean if I do all my bad stuff on good Tuesday, I will still go to heaven?”

Shocked into momentarily enlightenment, Blabber Bimbo Bambo had only one thing to say,

“Cheesin.”

The Shorts-Wearing Elf took another look at the pitiful whimpering lump cowering before her then slowly walked away, certain in the satisfying knowledge that yet another person’s life would never again be the same.