5 reasons why you should date suanie!

You know what? This is it. I look everywhere and everyone’s happy being part of a couple, holding hands, la-da-di-la-ing in their happy happy world of two (or more) some. Ain’t bloody well fair, I think to myself. Why aren’t I part of the action, ANY action??? Maybe it’s because of a variety of things, but in my not so humble opinion the photograph of me in The Star here smashed the cupcake.

CAN YOU SAY BLOATED?!?

This being the final straw, I have to take matters into my own hands. Not I want to, I HAVE TO! If not for the sake of MY happiness then at least for the sake of my friends who would be glad to have me stop bitching and whining, something which I would so not totally do IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND!

So I am launching a WORLDWIDE campaign, as wide as it would go, penetrate the four corners of earth and all that to help ME get laid a boyfriend. Or at least a date. And I am asking you, my friends to get thoroughly involved in this worthwhile cause, help the needy and so on.

I AM CHARITY!!!

I totally understand the need to provide some reasons as to why anyone would want to date me. Show cause as they say. Who is this Suanie and why date her? Well you can read all about the ‘who’ part in About Me. It’s the ‘why’ part I need to tell you because if everyone knew why, I wouldn’t be so dateless and single as I am now, would I?

Now let’s get down to business. Please spread the word. I AM love.

Five Reasons Why You Should Date Suanie

1. I am an easy-going gal and very flexible

Contrary to popular belief, I am not that fussy, really. A true Malaysian, I believe in upholding the ‘chin-cai lah’ principle and often go to great lengths to exercising it. What do I want for dinner? Anything. What movie do I want to watch? Anything. Which colour I like best, blue or red? Anything.

This does not mean that I do not have my own opinions. It’s just that sometimes I feel too much argument leads to nowhere but splitsville. What does it matter if I drink teh tarik or teh O ais? At the end of the day it’s just to quench my thirst, right? So long we all happy happy get along together hold hand and all, I mean, all these are small and quite insignificant matters. Not like you are asking me if I want to buy a single or double storey house, right?

At the best of times, I know what is important and what is not important. I know when and when not to be flexible.

But I do not drink San Miguel.

2. I give you your space

I understand that everyone’s got his or her own life. I too have my own life to lead, got things to take care of, family and friends to see. I am not the type to totally cram your lifestyle just because we are together as a couple. Being the understanding person that I am, I know that being together does not mean having to do everything together. Sure I want to do things to WITH you, but I know that there are some things you need to do by yourself. Like going to the toilet. Or going out with the boys. Or seeing your ex-girlfriend for a casual meet-up.

Haha, just kidding.

No, seriously.

3. I am an affectionate, loving person

Underneath this tough leathery rubber exterior is a warm-blooded passionate affectionate romantic sentimental girl who is not afraid to express it. When you are down I hold your hand. When you feel like moaning I have a shoulder for ya. When you need a hug, look no further. I embrace PDA but I won’t go OTT.

You should be so lucky.

4. I am in touch with my feminine side

You know like how some girls get cheesed off if you open the door for them? “Oh you think I cannot open my own door is it, you chauvinist pig?” Well, Suanie is not like that. Suanie truly appreciates gentlemanly conduct and loves it if you open or hold a door for her. You want to buy me a drink? Why, that is very kind of you (beer only please), thank you.

And I can actually cook. If I want to.

Sometimes I squeal and simper, sometimes I skip a bit, sometimes I giggle. I ADORE wearing skirts, the more layers the better. I look good in high heels.

Heck, I look good in ANYTHING! Talk about versatility!

5. I’m just FUN to be with!

I know it’s a bit cliche to say this, but I am really fun to be with! I can crack silly jokes, I can be a smart ass, I can go serious ala Jeff Ooi, metamorphose be my middle name. I am not afraid to try new things. New adventures? Sign me up please.

I CAN MAKE YOU SMILE!!!

And I love kids. Really, I do.

So how was that for reasons? Good enough? Of course they are! What are you waiting for??? If I don’t get a date after this, gosh there must be something REALLY wrong with this world! You want to talk about the changing of society? Society would be DAMNED if I don’t get a boyfriend! It would be like… like… the end of the world! And.. and… aliens and stuff!

BE A MATE

GET SUANIE A DATE!

If you have a website/blog I would truly appreciate your help in getting me laid a boyfriend. A GUY OF MY OWN! IMAGINE THAT!!! OOoo the excitement runneth my cuppeth!

So I have made some banners and stuff that you could put on your blog, even if it’s just one post. I understand that not everybody think that I’m totally hot (what’s wrong with you???) so I made some variations of the banners. Democracy? Hah, I AM DEMOCRACY!!!

If you think I’m HOT :

Date Suanie - Banner 1

If you think I’m JUST OK:

Date Suanie - Banner 2

If you think I’m UGLY:

Date Suanie - Banner 3

The world will SOOOO be a BETTER PLACE if Suanie has a boyfriend!!!

Date Suanie - Banner 4

It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out!

DATE ME!!!

pps 2nd anniversary bash! bash me!

Shake yer bon bon Shake yer bon bon Shake yer bon bon…

The PPS 2nd Anniversary bash is going to be held at a place I’d never been to, located on a street I’d never heard of, but heyyyyy it’s alllllrrrrighttttttt.

I’d already said I’d go, signed up and everything and I shall be bringing ONE MYSTERY GUEST!

Actually the person is not really shrouded in veils of mystery but it sounds more exciting that way.

The last I checked, a lot more people are confirming their attendance, so you bet it’s not going to be a small quiet dinner.

WHO IS COMING?!

Lots of people stuck in KL and lots of out-of-towners! There’s minishorts, Gabriella, IreneQQQ, luciala, eyeris, return of the Mack, Kenny Sia, da 6th Seal and many many many many many more!

When is this going to happen, you ask?

Well people, make your calendars free for :

You can get more details from the sign-up page.

EVERYBODY CUMMMMMMM COMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

Now when it’s a party (or gathering if you will, same thing), one of the main things to fret about is, WHAT TO WEAR?!?

This question has been playing around in my mind ever since I decided to go. As you know, choice of clothing is of utmost importance as the first impression is almost always the decider on whether or not you get talked to. You know lah… sort of like bloggers’ meeting like that, everyone with or without something to say will most certainly say it. I sure as hell do not want to get lost within the crowd, even more to be left hanging alone and ignored like a wilted wallflower. So you can see how very important this is, not just for me but for everyone else. If you haven’t given two hoots about it before, I suggest that you start worrying now.

But this is about me, right? So I had definitely given the matter A LOT of thought – more than a few restless nights than I care to admit, and finally came up with a few options for the evening.

First of all I want to be seen as welcoming. Even though I am not the host – actually I am not anyone important there but the idea is to create the illusion that I am important! And important people are always going around looking cool but totally approachable, definitely a sort of welcoming note embedded within their aura. That is why people go up and talk to them and that is how they become important and popular.

So I think I will give my ‘fuck off’ aura a rest for the night and go with ‘come talk to me me me me me!’ To achieve this, let me introduce to you something that has not seen the light for many many moons…

The Curtain

Don’t I look so welcoming already?

And to add to my beckoning allure, the curtain is designed to fit in as many people as possible!

Okay, maybe that is too in-yer-face. Some people might prefer a softer approach, like casual jeans but still totally cool. But since my ‘fuck off’ aura is precedently strong, maybe cartoons might make people see that, hey! I’m so warm and friendly and nice and all that jazz! Not because they are childish shy but maybe they need a topic so they could break the ice!

I’ve so already thought of that.

I’m so on your similar ground, dude!

The umbrella is on hand in case you are an umbrella fan. See, I think of EVERYTHING!

What a grand welcoming gesture! On the other hand it could be me constipating, but let’s not go there.

Or how about black? Everybody loves black. Black is so in. And black and white is totally sweet! Word!

Maximum loving y’all!

I ain’t got no bling but that don’t mean we ain’t getting crunked up!

‘Coz I’m a cool person. Like, totally. And if you ain’t gonna chea I’m gonna shoot the five outta ya. Biatch.

When there’s black there MUST be white! It’s like an unspoken thing, the Yin the Yang, the Michael Jackson. So how could I disappoint???

The green thing is from Escada some more ok…

What does white do? White represents what?

JUSTICE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS OF COURSE!!!

You can crack your heads thinking what that was but don’t hurt yourself.

Or maybe I could represent KL herself! A touch of old fashioned traditions and a wave of new culture! That would be like totally cool to be able to say “OI! I AM OLD AND NEW AT THE SAME TIME!” Then all these people see mehh, then they WAHHHHH by golly she is SO in TOUCH with MALAYSIA TODAY!

And I could provide entertainment during the bash as well! Of course my skills are not what they used to be but heck! Santana has to call ME sifu!

A stroke of brilliance, that was.

Perhaps cute and adorable might cut it? I mean, it’s not my usual platinum rampant rabbit to simper and whine in saccharine overkill mode BUT for the sake of PPS’s bash I WILL DO IT! O the mighty sacrifice to please and pander to all odds and ends in our picky finicky blogosphere!

Is that a simultaneous ‘oohhh ahhhhh awwwww’ that I hear? No it isn’t loud enough. Let’s raise the stakes. After all if you are going to die of sweetness overdose at our first meeting you might as well get a heart attack, either from utter happiness or incomprehensible shock.

R-I-P.

That was totally cute though.

And the last option is of course the colour RED. The Chinese say ang ang very lucky mah.

Who knows I might get lucky leh?

But then it might not be such a good idea. I mean, red is also a danger/keep out/hazard/warning sign what.

Decisions decisions…

No-lah, seriously if you see me there, just ignore me. I very shy one.

So come ah…