As Suanie Sees It

They say that in order to understand a person, you have to look at his or her past.

Say hi to my sisters, way back in 1977.

This was my second sister holding up a cousin.

And then there was me. It’s all war, if you knew the history of this photo. Apparently I hated the both of them, but if I turn left then kena kissed by my eldest sister. If I turn right, well the outcome is in the photo below.

(p/s: yeah I bought a new scanner. Not the bestest but it works ok. Going to scan all our old photos, HUGE LOADS of them)

Update:

I just realised that I was an ugly baby. No wonder they all called me ugly duckling lah.

And this one is me at a young age. It was just after I had to have my hair cut ‘coz I got them burnt. Short story, but don’t really feel like telling it.

I never did much homework. I was alone a lot and there weren’t many people supervising my childhood and growing up years and man did I abused the privilege.

One of the subjects I loathe most is Math. Until today I can never get the hang of why the combination of x and y needs to be z. What the fuck is x? What the fuck is y? Y z??? How did a, b and c come into the picture? What is their story? How the fuck do you plus and minus alphabets?!?

That is why my right brain is more often in use than my left brain which is rotting by the second. Perhaps it could also explain why my right boob is slightly bigger than my left boob.

But all the algebra and trigonometry stuff was in high school. Although I did get an ‘A’ for Math in UPSR the road leading to it was not a pretty sight.

In Primary 4 (4 Hijau) we had a Math teacher, Puan M. She was chubby and used far too much lipstick and blusher for my liking. Even at the tender age of 10 my fashion police sirens were wailing at the top of their lungs. Well that was how I remembered her; not really a nice thing actually because she was friends with my mom.

But I can’t lie even though the truth hurts.

Suffice to say I never did much of the her homework. As punishment she made me write lines - 100 at a time. I don’t remember the exact words but it must be something like ‘Next time I will do my homework’.

Now let’s wake the left brain up for a little bit of logic and rationality. If I do not do her homework , do you think I would write lines?

Silly cow.

Every subsequent day of the same week she would have the whole class chanting “Satu ratus, dua ratus, tiga ratus, empat ratus…” and so on for every day that I did not write the lines. When it finally reached satu ribu I was brought to the headmistress.

All SHE made me do was to clean the school toilet.

That’s a smart woman who knows how to save money on janitors.

And I finally did Puan M.’s homework.

p.s : Yes KY, that is also why I can’t count 12000.

… I had a massive crush on the boy next door. He was a couple of years older than me; skinny kid with a loopish grin and very sepet eyes. I used to play with him and his younger sister until he entered secondary school and became too cool for us girls. He would smile and say hi but that was it. Still I liked him. He had hair like Jimmy Lin, you know.

One time when I was in Form 2 (14 years old) I had this brilliant idea to try get his attention. It was evening, his parents and younger sister were out selling dried herbs and stuff at the night market. So I took a pen and paper, climbed over the wall that separates our houses and knocked on the door.

He answered. I told him that my teacher gave the class an assignment to ‘get to know your neighbours’ - favourite colours, food, this that so could he please help me out? He said ok but he was watching a movie so if I didn’t mind I could ask him with the video on.

So I went in, sat with him in the living room and started asking him some basic stuff (how do I spell your name? When were you born?). Moments later I realised that the video was about a white chick getting humped by a white dude and they were making some pretty weird sounds. Moments after that I awkwardly said my goodbyes.

The family moved away a couple of years after that. The last time I saw him was a few years ago, he recognised me and we said hello.

So yeah, that was my first encounter with porn.