suanie spouts poetry
Tigerjoe, man-ho extraordinaire moaned that PPS hits today aren’t what they used to be. Me, of course having a blog for no purpose and with no direction decides to take him up on his skewed observations, and in this first of a four part blogglenge (blog+challenge, I dare you to say that 50 times in a row), I present to you:
Suanie’s Poetry
aka Ode to Boobies
aka I-hope-John-Keats-doesn’t-rise-from-his-grave-and-scare-me-to-death
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun
My bosoms are drooping 25 years in existence
No longer perky like 18 year old lumps
If you’re young you’d better fucking cherish your tits
Splatter age-defying cream and whatnot all over your bits
Better wear a bra if you’re more than an A
Trust me, it pays
Oh boobs of all shapes and sizes
Boobs of spring, summer, autumn and winter
Boobs like apples, oranges, melons and peaches
You’d give a straight man a seizure
Treasure them well, treasure them good
Helps if you have a nice ass to boot
Tigerjoe, I hope you are duly chastened
I bet my poetry gets more than 10 hits, bless ‘em
If I recall you owe me some beer
I’ll collect when I’ve fixed my ear.
-The End-
ear pain
My ear damn pain.
Got come out blood.
I hate my ear.
trip the light fantastic toe
During my Daytona days, there was a new machine in the local arcade that became a big hit. I think it was a pirated version of the Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) aka the downward spiral of our youth’s dancing abilities in public, more notably in dance clubs.
Thanks to the ‘Burst’ mode on my trusty Sony Ericcson K750i, I present to you a visual example of how kids these days learn to dance.
I think this particular machine had a hand gesture sensor as well.
The next time you are accidentally hit or stepped on in clubs, you’d know why. Hehehehehe 
babies and marriage
A MSN conversation with Fireangel. Just felt like posting this, this post has no purpose or value whatsoever, go make your own assumptions.
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Suanie: 31… I don’t know.
Fireangel: 31! Fuck! Well if 31 and pregnant then good news lah. So old already better get pregnant now.
Suanie: 31 is not old.. Why you thinking so kolot one kekekkekee So you think you must be married by 28 ka? cis…. like [identity withheld], end up not happy by own choice.
Fireangel: No lah. Doctors say first child should be about 30s mah. Safer. Less risk and complications.
Suanie: Seeing as how I don’t plan to have my own kids, it doens’t bother me
Fireangel: I would actually start to REALLY worry if I am still single by the time I am 30
Suanie: hmmm…
Fireangel: You don’t? But the loneliness will
Suanie: I don’t know lol.
Fireangel: A kid is just a product of a paper contract. By-product. Like industrial waste hahaha. I think you cannot run from that
Suanie: Huh… LOL no… I’d thought about this for a couple years now. I don’t like kids. I don’t want my own kids.
Fireangel: What about the whole continuing your line of existance?
Suanie: Not important to me. It’s a stupid thing. If you want kids you can always adopt.
Fireangel: LOL true. We have too many kids on earth is it? Why don’t you want kids?
Suanie: Don’t know… I never thought of having my own kids before. Not even when I was growing up.
Fireangel: Hehehehe actually I can’t even imagine me giving birth or taking care of one. Can’t even take care of myself. I don’t even see myself ever getting married. Which is quite a scary thought also.
Suanie: lololololol
Fireangel: Do you? Can you? Some people can imagine it and everything right down to the very last confetti.
Suanie: Marriage is fine. I plan to just sign the paper lmao. The theory is fine la. But I guess I have lots of hurdles to overcome before even going that far. Commitment phobia bla bla bla bleah. Everyone will go through that I guess.
Fireangel: I’m not scared of the commitment part. I’m scared that the other party cannot live up to it. Since you know… how all men are bastard animals.
Suanie: Well, move to a small town LMAO… KL is fucked up.
on lampe berger and mlm
A conversation with a friend actually doing Lampe Berger stuff. Edited for clarity and length.
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Suanie: You still in Lampe Berger ar?
Friend: Ya. Why? Recently a lot of people asking me the same question. Apa kang tau?
Suanie: LOL. Anti Lampe Berger, Lampe Berger Help, Mack.
Friend: Haha..
Suanie: Going to be hoo haa.
Friend: There will always be some bad apples in a basket. Those are not news to us anymore.
Suanie:So are you really selling lamps?
Friend: Yes I am. Not doing recruiting anymore, only servicing existing customers. All the while there are problems like these. Just that it is getting more serious.
Suanie: Yeah. Did you pay RM30k?
Friend: Nope. Why suddenly so keen on Lampe Berger?
Suanie: Asking only mah. I don’t want you to get into trouble.
Friend: Basically it is a business, if you treat it as such. It will turn into a scam, if you want it to be. That’s the thing with MLM. Hard to control human behaviour. I stopped doing recruiting because the market is getting worst day to day by those people who treat it as a money game.
Suanie: Basically people are scared la.
Friend : Our whole group stopped doing recruiting. There’s one group really siao one… very fierce. They are the ones who make the whole market bad.
Suanie: Do the Lampe Berger lamps work?
Friend: Yes they do. But it is a natural way of healing. So different people will have different time frame to see the effects.
Suanie: What does it heal?
Friend: Different aromas will have different usage lar…
Suanie: Continue writing k.. I am going to take a nap.
Friend: There are certain aromas for healing migraines, stress… Normally we approach people only when we see that they have a need for the products, or the opportunity to make money. Some who benefited from the product will become a distributor. It’s like you ate something good at Jogoya, you’d share it with others la. But in MLM you can make money from it lor. That’s it.
Friend: Some people might say, earning money from friends is not good. Just think the other way round. If you open a restaurant, you ask your friends not to come to your restaurant meh? Or you always treat them to dinner? It’s a perception… if you really look at it from a business point of view, MLM is also a type of business. The problem is, nobody can really control how people use it.
Friend: Although the government do have rules and regulations and laws about it, but it is still hard to control because it is run by humans. You can’t stop people from throwing price and all that crap. That’s why it might turn into a scam not unfamiliar with certain MLM, causing people to be scared and wary.
Friend: About Lampe Berger…. depends on what aroma you are using. For example, eucalyptus will help in healing asthma, bronchitis, sinus, breathing problems etc. Roses will help balance the hormones, blood circulation etc. Lavender helps with snoring and insomnia problems as well as release stress. Apple helps to whet your appetite and some detoxification. Sandal wood helps you to be calm, is used for meditation and some constipation problems.
Friend: That’s about aroma lah. It can also increase small amount of oxygen level, is anti-bacteria etc. No matter what aroma you use, these are the common effects. Aromatherapy is a type of alternative healing la… like yoga, spa… but in a natural way. Not like western medication which suppresses the illness… Natural like Chinese medication, using herbs to heal, finding the root of the illness.
Friend: That’s all lah… I lazy to write some more… Go here la.
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I don’t support MLM scams; I don’t really believe in MLMs. All my life I’ve stayed away from the “give me some money now and see more money later!” stuff, except for a couple of insurance policies. Someone comes to me with a catalogue and a massive grin, I’d run for my life.
However I thought there might be another side to it, people who actually believe in the product and not the highly inappropriate recruiting methods, hence the conversation above. What my friend said is true — MLM can be a legitimate way to make money. I personally know of people who are so involved with companies such as AMWAY that it is their full-time job. Good for them.
Recommendations is a way of life. Someone could recommend to you a job, a car, a date. I could recommend to you a movie, a restaurant or a blog. Another person could recommend to you their insurance company’s latest policy, or a doctor down the road who could give you a fake MC. It is unfortunate that there is a loop in Lampe Berger’s hierarchy and many people are irresponsibly taking lucrative advantage of it.
RM30k… wtf… *slaps your head*.