The story about Ryan the Nephew’s potential romantic future

Ryan being the first baby in our immediate family received a lot of fuss and attention. Long discussions were held on his life path and bright future. The only conclusion that came from all those talks was that we are all dreamers.

Years ago, I was casually chatting with Ryan’s mother on Ryan’s love life when he grows up. Personally I’m conservative liberal, so whoever Ryan would choose as his partner would be generally fine by me.

If nothing else, he’d have his xiao yi’s emotional support 😉

So my sister and I were going on about Ryan’s romantic future. “What if he likes a guy?” I asked, “Would you be okay with it?” “Yes of course!” she exclaimed, “We’ll support him in his decisions!”

She turned to Ryan’s father and said, “If Ryan is gay, we must support him, okay!!!”

He turned around and asked in a serious tone, “What do you mean support? Pay for his sex change operation??”

The story about Mike and LL’s wedding cake

This is one of my favourite stories about two of my favourite people.

Mike and LL tied the knot three years ago today. The reception was held a few weeks later, what a blast it was!

It was a ‘we did it our way’ wedding, so why should their wedding cake follow the norm? It didn’t – they had a tiered wedding plate where a small cake sits on top for cake-cutting purposes. The rest of the tiers were filled with yummy-looking bite-size brownies. They considered the small cake and brownies part of the whole wedding cake experience.

Michael and Liling's wedding cake

But of course, you can’t place something as inviting as scrumptious looking brownies in the middle of a wedding, with no instructions and expect people not to touch it. Of course they touched it, BEFORE the cake cutting ceremony. How was one to know?

Suddenly amongst chat and laughter as guests tucked into the buffet spread, we heard the groom SCREAAAAMMMMMMMM into the microphone…

“DO… NOT… EAT… THE… BROWNIES…! I repeat, DOOO NOTTTT EAATTTT THHHEEEE BROOWWWNNNNNIIEESSSS!!!!!!!!”

Silence. Mortification.

There WERE people eating the brownies there and then, hahahahahhahahaha! From what I heard, there were many ‘half a brownie halfway in my open mouth’ moments, hahahahahhahahaha!

Michael and LL's cake

Anyway they cut the cake soon after. The brownies were delicious 😛

Happy anniversary, Mike+LL! Stay awesome 🙂

2012 was…

Without going into long weary details, my 2012 can be summed up as a year filled with ‘could have been’.

Most of it was my own undoing. To which I sincerely apologise if you have been affected and I do really hope to make it up to you in 2013, if I can.

One cannot thoroughly explain what goes through the mind, one cannot make any excuses for it and thus one shall not attempt for it would border on pathetic.

On the other hand, I’m lucky (and know it) to be surrounded by helpful people who give me so much opportunities. Thank you.

I’ve been really bad at staying in touch the last year. Just goes into a funk, you know. Not that I go out a lot either; most of the time when I get home, I just want to be the average couch potato, getting lost in the world of True Blood, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy, Dexter, Criminal Minds, the assorted CSIs, Kitchen Nightmares and Top Chef.

I did get to know a few new cool people, it’s been really nice. Met a couple of really nasty people, good riddance.

The one singular moment that stood out last year was a scene right out of a TV drama.

It was a Saturday afternoon and I went to see my friend who was in the hospital. I’d parked my car in the basement parking, cheerfully walked into the hospital building past the florist, expensive cafes and up the escalator to get to the other wing.

Took the elevator to the top floor where she was at, smiling to myself at the thought of seeing her.

Stepped out of the elevator and swerved to the right as usual to see some people huddled together in tears.

One of them was her sister.

“Uh…” I approached them gingerly, then halting just a few steps before the group, “… what happened…? Did something happen? What?”

Her sister walked towards me, put her hand on my arm and whispered, “Aunty May just passed away.”

“Oh.”

So that was that.

How we unexpectedly found our relatives in China

I told this story a few times then decided to (verbosely) blog it and direct everyone here. It’s a lot to say, it’s slightly weary to repeat it and you know that I don’t like talking too much 😉

My paternal grandfather traveled from Fuzhou to Batu Pahat at 17. He was the 4th of 5 brothers. His 2 older brothers were also in Batu Pahat, the other 2 remained in Fuzhou. People have asked me why Batu Pahat and not Sitiawan or Sibu for those are places where Fuzhou people congregate. Well I really wouldn’t know and it’s too late to ask my grandfather, him being deceased and all.

To another common question of whether or not I speak the dialect, the answer is no because no one taught me. As simple as that.

My Dad being the eldest son and most educated in the family (at that time) had the honour of helping my grandfather write letters back to his homeland. Since my Dad was pretty much the only person my grandfather would converse with, he became well-versed with our family history in China, assorted relatives, the old house by the river, state of muddy yard etc.

Thus in the autumn of his life, it is no surprise that my Dad would want to visit his dad’s place of origin. He’d memorised the stories, now he wanted to see it for himself.

But it wasn’t as easy as pie. No one in our family kept in touch with those in Fuzhou. We didn’t have any addresses for back in the 90s, the local government changed the provinces. So the address that my Dad knew from his earlier days of letter writings no longer exists. And you know, China is a friggin’ huge place, so where do we start??

My Mom and sisters spent 3 years trying to look for the old village but to no avail. They asked those in the local Fuzhou clan association, but no one there knew ether. That’s why the trip to Fuzhou was always postponed. In the meantime, my Dad could only go to places like Bali, oh the tragedy 😛

Earlier this year, my Mom’s friend who retired and became a China tour guide returned with good news: he’d found the old village!! I don’t know the details. All I know was that I was going to to China with my parents and most of my aunts.

I was stoked for my Dad, of course. It’s something that he’d always really wanted and now it’s all coming true! Finally he’d be able to see where his father had lived! Well, the same district anyway for the exact location was yet to be found.

November 2012, Fuzhou.
I’m skipping the stories of Guangzhou, Chaozhou and Xiamen for this story.

The night before *the* day, the tour guide told us that he went on Baidu and found the exact location of the street in the old village. Apparently the 3 years of looking could have been easily minimised with Baidu, haha! But I believe that there’s a reason why things happen now and not then, so…

Off we went to Minhou.

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie's Dad in bus
Me Dad! What is he thinking?? How is he feeling?? I don’t know!!!

The old village was ‘Xili Chun’, which literally translates to ‘village by the river’. It is now…

Minhou, Fuzhou - Xili Lu
Makes sense, no?

We found the road where the old village was. There was construction all around as huge buildings were being built. The bus driver suggested that we ask any older folks if they’d know of the old house (where my great-grandparents lived) as they’d be more connected with the past before all this development.

And what do you know; right in front of our bus was an old man crossing the road with a helper! My Dad approached him…

Trip to Fuzhou - Met Mr Yeh
My Dad, my Mom’s tour guide friend and Mr Yeh!

Mr. Yeh (in his 80s!) knew of the old village for he lived there too! He thought it’d be a good idea to go to the local community centre to… actually I don’t know why because I wasn’t paying attention.

Trip to Fuzhou - going to community centre
Walking to the community centre

Saw some folks there, Dad began retelling his ancestry connections.

Trip to Fuzhou - at community centre

A few phone calls were made and… “Oh you have relatives here, they’ll meet you down the street.”

:O :O :O :O :O

Mr. Yeh was so happy, he said he’d take us to the meeting place ‘cos HE LIVES THERE TOO!!

:O :O :O :O :O

Trip to Fuzhou - walking to meet relatives
Going to see Dad’s cousin!

After walking for a bit, we saw a couple waiting for us. Could it be them? Indeed it was them!

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie's dad's cousin
Meeting Dad’s cousin!

Turns out my grandfather’s youngest brother had 5 sons and 1 daughter. The man who met us with his wife was the 2nd son.

Trip to Fuzhou - happy folks
Happiness all around!

Dad’s 2nd cousin brother took us to his flat. On the way I saw this huge melon and thought you have to see it too.

Trip to Fuzhou - random big melon
Random big melon

Upon entering his flat, we saw familiar faces..

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie's ancestors
Ancestor worship, hence the photos are there

The top two are my great-grandparents. My great-grandfather looked younger because he passed away at 45. Not sure how long my great-grandmother lived for. The bottom two photos are my grandfather’s youngest brother and his wife. Lived to ripe old ages, I see!

This was incredibly surreal because I grew up with the top two photos in my grandfather’s house. It used to scare the living s- out of me because they were really old and not as photoshoppped, no mountains and greens in the background. Here, I found a photo of the ancestors’ pictures in the old house in Batu Pahat:

Ancestor photos in Batu Pahat
SEE!! SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!!

Many photos were taken…

Trip to Fuzhou - taking photos of ancestors photos
Hahaha I thought this was cute

Many calls were made. In fact they called just about everyone! The 1st brother immediately boarded a 4-hour train with his son to come see my Dad for dinner! Soon after, the 3rd brother arrived…

Trip to Fuzhou - Dad's cousin, 3rd brother
He looked like one of my late uncles, surreal!

Then HE called his sons and told them to take the day off from work. And we all went to lunch nearby where they insisted on buying us a massively extravagant meal.

Trip to Fuzhou - looking at old family photo
Looking at an old family photo at lunch

And they took us to my great-grandparents’ (relocated) grave which was by the Min River.

Trip to Fuzhou - at ancestors' grave

Then 3rd cousin brother’s sons took us to ‘Old Fuzhou’, a touristy place but it was really nicely done. Spent the rest of the day with us, I was quite overwhelmed by their hospitality.

It was quite funny though. Fuzhou seemed to be rather homogeneous. My cousin asked me about Malaysia and her people, so I went for a bit. He asked me if there were a lot of Chinese in Malaysia, I said yes there are Malays and Indians too. He went, “HUH INDIANS, WHY INDIANS?? WHY DID INDIANS GO THERE??” Hahaha I nearly laughed out loud at his reaction. He was really puzzled out of curiosity so I told him about the British bringing in Indians to work at the plantations. A short history lesson there, thank goodness I still know some!

We went for dinner and there were more people; kids of kids, kids of kids of kids etc.

And it was my Dad’s birthday, so…

Trip to Fuzhou - Dad blowing the birthday cake

Everyone toasted him!

Trip to Fuzhou - birthday toast with baby

Dad was so happy 😀

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie with parents

Contacts were exchanged, more photos taken, they loaded us with gifts after gifts…

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie's dad and his cousins
Dad and his cousins, one missing as he wasn’t feeling well

Trip to Fuzhou - Suanie's relatives in China
Group shot!

Well that was a most fruitful trip, wasn’t it? Credits to my Mom for trying so hard for so many years to make this happen, she’s incredible! Now my Dad will have something to talk about for 3 years 😉

And of course I’ll never forget Mr. Yeh. He was the bridge to this reunion and I’ll always keep him in my thoughts 🙂

Window to my past

Old fashioned window grill

As kids, you’d want to do fun things because… well, they’re fun! Who could say no to a jolly good time of making life completely and utterly miserable for adults? Them adults and their boring things like rules. And safety. I hated safety; if safety was a cow, I’d eat it to shut it up.

I loved the window grills at my grandparents’. They’re of the older fashioned type that you don’t see often anymore. Decorative but also darn hard to clean so I’m glad I wasn’t the one who had to clean them.

The best thing about this kind of grills is…

EASIER CLIMBING.

Then my grandparents would catch me (they were sneaky like that) and ordered me to come down because I might fall and hurt myself.

That was when I was a kid lah. Now if I tried to climb it, I’d probably bring the house down.

Not in a good way.

Sunday breakfast with my grandfather

It’s my grandfather’s 85th birthday today. (Almost) the entire clan made it back to our hometown to toast (and mostly to drink) to his good health and longevity.

This morning, we headed to Sri Gading for breakfast with the birthday boy. We were told that he would be at the breakfast stall, so we waited for him patiently. Then from the corner of my eye, we saw a lone man on his bicycle heading towards us.

Suanie's 85 years old grandfather on bicycle

Of course it was my grandfather, possibly the only 85 years old man still whizzing around Sri Gading in his trusty classic (albeit rusty) Raleigh. Not sure if it’s a good thing safety-wise but it makes him immensely happy.

For our second breakfast (we’re hobbits), we walked to a nearby roti canai stall. In an act of familiarity, grandfather immediately sat next to the chef’s stove, possibly the chef’s table.

Suanie's grandfather at Haji Mohammad's

The roti canai seller is Haji Mohammad, son of Esa. To eat his crispy, delicious roti canai, you need plenty of time, patience and preferably good company. Haji Mohammad is the sole person preparing and cooking the roti canai; a process of flattening the dough, letting it rest, whipping them to a spectacular shape, placing them on the grill and so on. He does all this while memorising new and old orders, tells his staff what to do, and calculates bills via verbal human computation.

He’s also my grandfather’s friend. He would make anything my grandfather wanted and is reluctant to charge him. According to legend (actually just my mom and aunt), one day Haji Mohammad’s wife got very sick. Grandfather advised him on Chinese herbs to buy and prepare for her recovery. After taking the herbs, she got better and soon regained full good health. Thus Haji Mohammad was very grateful to my grandfather.

My grandfather’s version was that, it was Haji Mohammad’s grandfather who was sick. So I don’t know which version is true. But someone got well and that is always a good thing.

What’s good for the goose

I’ve seen geese before but I’ve not seen domesticated ones waddling about as they please. I use ‘domesticated’ loosely – geese are not known for their friendliness. Though beautiful and elegant creatures, they give a false impression that you could approach and befriend them. Try that and well, I’m sure you would have painfully learned your lesson.

Lone goose in Sri Gading

We saw this lone goose waddling up and down a small lane in Sri Gading, probably bored out of its mind. Geese don’t do a whole lot, do they? Other than terrorizing kids and adults who should know better. I have a fear of geese (among other things), could be that I was chased by one in some zoo when I was a kid. Fuzzy memories.

On the other hand, my mom and aunt remember the terror more distinctly. Being pecked by an angry goose does that to you.