A lobster, a steak and a bottle of wine walk into a bar

I have a mole above my upper lip. In the Chinese art of face reading, its position makes it an ‘Eating God’ (shi shen) mole. Supposedly, it means that I am a connoisseur of music, food, drinks, and that I enjoy the good things in life.

Wow Chinese art of face reading, how did you know? Chinese art of face reading, you’re right!

Very little things make me happier than being lost in my own world, savouring whatever deliciousness is on my plate, observing details that may seem unimportant to others. Welcome to my ‘me’ time… no actually, for obvious reasons, stay away from my ‘me’ time.

One thing that is often forgotten: pleasure can be found in both an expensive 10-course meal, and an unassuming homemade grilled cheese and pickle sandwich. Yes, it is exactly like a cheesy (har har) over-the-top love declaration worthy of this Pat Boone classic.

This year, I’ve had some really nice things. One of my favourite is a starter served at The Restaurant in The Club, Saujana Resort.

Marble of lobster and tomato confit, with avocado, grapefruit segments and pomegranate truffle.

The Restaurant, Saujana Resort - marble of lobster and tomato confit

Look at this thing. I had no idea what was going on, but everything on that plate made culinary sense. I don’t even remember what it tasted like anymore. But the feels… bursts of colourful happy juices raining down from the sky, followed by a vision of Ryan Gosling reaching out to me, sensuously mouthing “come with me if you want to live forever” (I think I stole that line from a bug movie, but whatever, Ryan Gosling.)

Did you know how happy I was? That was how happy I was.

The Restaurant, Saujana Resort - black angus tenderloin

Some might say that the steak looked like it was ready to get up and run away.

At times, I genuinely do not know how to reply to such remarks. Was that a joke? Were you joking? An attempt at humour that painfully falls flat because it’s… not…. funny….? But I can’t say that to your face, “Wei, what kind of stupid joke you’re trying to make, so stupid” because it wouldn’t be nice? Why would anyone joke about Black Angus beef tenderloin?

Here, some jokes.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do cows do for entertainment? Go to moo-vies.

Why should you never ever tell a cow a secret? Because it will just go in one ear and out the udder.


The Restaurant, Saujana Resort - Jacob's Creek Centenary Hill Shiraz

I usually skip Shiraz, not a fan of spicy and peppery in my wine. But this Jacob’s Creek Centenary Hill Shiraz from Barossa Valley… wow! A rich full-bodied red, yet decidedly soft to the taste, more than its fair share of blackberry notes.

I liked it. So much so that I tried getting a bottle for myself, for personal consumption. But I suppose that people buy these things in cases, for my request to purchase one single bottle was never acknowledged.

That sucks. But what to do 🙂



  1. Suahkoo comes to town says:

    The joke is on you dear.

    That is some low end australian wine to go with kangaroo fillet.

    I have to agree with the joker, the steak is still errr, alive?
    To put it bluntly, it is raw and uncooked food you have there.

    So much for the mole above your upper lip, you have no clue.

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