DIE LEECHES, DIEEEEEEEE!!!11111

I hate leeches.
They are gross, disgusting parasites.
I see no reason for their existence.
If I could rid the world of leeches, I would.
Traditional and modern medicine would have to find other ways.
Seriously, anything that sucks blood isn’t good for you.
Leeches, mozzies, bats, bedbugs, vampires…
Trust me, you’d do well to avoid all of them.

Leech @ Taman Negara 01

Why do I loathe leeches?
Because I’ve never liked slimy bloodsucking bastards.
Don’t know why I dated some… but that’s besides the point.
In my most-hated list, leeches is pretty much up there.
It ranks higher than frogs, snakes and even lizards.
And we know how much I hate lizards.
Actually you know what, it may be a tie.
I don’t know what is worse: stuck with a leech or lizard.
I hope that day never comes.

Leech @ Taman Negara 02

Every other guide says that leeches are a sign that it’s a good forest.
That we shouldn’t panic or freak out if they latched themselves on us.
And not scream because the leeches would not be able to hear us anyway.
Very funny har bloody har.
I made a pun, har bloody har har har.
Well I say screw that.
If a leech gets to me, you bet I’d scream.
Maybe not a full scream because I try to maintain cool, you know.
But definitely a yelp, a shriek, a shout.
Anyone near me would be able to hear it.
That would be their cue to come to my aid.
Because I’d have frozen in my spot and unable to move.
I’m sure there’s a description for that.
Oh yeah, coward.

Leech @ Taman Negara 03

But so what?
I can handle other pests relatively fine.
Give me a roach or a rat anytime.
I’ll chase and beat the shit out of them.
Give me a spider, a fly, mou man tai.
But damn you leeches for making my life hell.
Making me think twice about outdoor jungle activities.
Making me look bad when I cower in your presence.
Damn you, you suck.
I hate you.

Comments

  1. i’ve one leech on a friend recently during our jungle trekking. she stayed calmed while i screamed. *shy*

  2. That’s about the funniest thing I’ve read today!,

  3. So one day my wife was driving and she told me that she felt something cold on her feet. Turned out to be a leech. I know that I shouldn’t pull it out but

    a.) I’m not a smoker, so no lighter
    b.) no baby oil in the car

    No choice lor, have to stop by the side of the road and cabut it. Can feel the cold and sliminess of the leech while pulling it out. Gross

  4. Tan Yee Hou says:

    I think this is a hoax, but here’s the world’s largest leech as seen on 9gag wtf.

    http://media1.keepbusy.net/pics/pic-dump-177-16.jpg

  5. They do suck, don’t they? ;)

  6. missyblurkit: hahaha we can form a club!

    suertes: danke

    munkey: YOU SURE THAT ISN’T AN EEL OR NOOOTTT

    Benson: yikes!!! i hope you’re not still traumatised :P

    TYH: hahhahaa is that the one circulating on FB yday? whatever t is, it’s gross!

    julian: yes, like leeches…

  7. actually, when i’m trekking, i’m usually working out so hard that I completely do not care about the leeches sucking my two feet. i once had about 10 super duper fat suckers on each of my feet (that’s 20 plus in all). you may now proceed to forget about lunch.. and maybe dinner.

  8. Now that I am conducting my turtle research by the river bank, I get at least one leech bite everyday, LOL.

  9. suertes: you are more man than i am in every way.. :P

    pelf: haha my hat off to you, feeding the wild in the name of research :P

  10. i’ve heard a friend describing how leeches crawled up her… nevermind.

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge