Meeting men at gyms (or not)

Growing up on girlie magazines targeted at females from the age of 13-25 (hello CLEO), I’d always had the impression that things happen at the gyms. Sure, there’s the running, the stretching, the lifting and as I learned later in life, the gay sex in the shower stalls. But look past all that and you may find that some people actually meet other people in gyms! I’m talking about man and woman meet, man and woman go out on a date, go out on several dates, get into a relationship, get married, get a kid or three, get divorced then get on with their lives. You know, really romantic stuff like that.

At first I was skeptical because… let’s face it, love and relationship stuff printed in girlie mags are often BS. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. A little real-life example: there must have been loads of articles suggesting that bookstores are great places to meet guys/girls because that’s where you find the smart, intellectual sort, bla bla bla. Guess what? Mei and I tried that once, IT DIDN’T WORK! Okay fine, we were really just sitting on the floor of MPH Bangsar (when it was still around) reading books for free because we were cheap like that. The point is, we spent hours in the darn bookstore looking very smart and intelligent, with carefully selected titles to boot! Nope, didn’t work.

See, I tested out the theory so you didn’t have to. You’re welcome.

But gyms… I don’t know. Maybe I’m still stuck in my fantasy world, but I’m rather convinced that the silly grins from the endorphins after a good, grueling work-out must be good for something! Like ending up having hot sweaty sex with a guy with a six pack and other bulging… uh, muscles meeting the love of your life. So exciting, isn’t it?

… Not for me.

On Saturday I was at my sister’s, waiting to take Ryan to the movies. I had time on my hands and thought I’d use her condo gym’s treadmill for 20mins or so. Halfway through my running, a gorgeous man entered the gym and began to s-t-r-e-t-c-h. On a mat. At an empty space. Right next to the treadmill I was on…

I could almost see the wedding ring, peace doves, fireworks in Castle Happily-Ever-After…

… until I accidentally tugged on my earphones which was connected to my Nokia X6 (which serves as my music player). This sudden flurry of movement caused my Nokia X6 to go tumbling over the treadmill’s conveyor belt, disintegrate on the floor at the feet of said gorgeous man. Owner of disintegrated Nokia X6 screamed, “FUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, hit the treadmill’s emergency halt button and went scrambling after poor disintegrated Nokia X6. Said owner then realised with major embarrassment that gorgeous man was looking at her with a slight shock on his face, so she muttered her apologies and went back to her treadmill.

Back to being the first person… I continued my running and he began to use the treadmill next to mine. Bla bla bla stealing very quick glances at his beautiful reflection on the mirror in front of us bla bla bla visions of ring and doves returning bla bla bla… I slowed down my pace to have a drink, throat feeling like Sahara and all that.

Okay look: the point of this story is that I wouldn’t be me, Suanie if the damn bottle of water didn’t slip off my grip and fell like how the Nokia X6 did, okay? Yes, klutz, me, thanks. At that point in time, I just wished the conveyor belt would open up and swallow me whole because it would be absolute proof that the treadmill I was on was in fact an evil spirit waiting to claim its poor victim, me.

Instead I hit the stop button and legged it back to my sister’s. Guess which clumsy dolt didn’t and will never meet The One at the gym for lack of body coordination to make every movement sporty and graceful? Yeap.

Comments

  1. actually this story sounds suspiciously like it would tend towards the sort of plot advancement where u and Stretch Guy bump into each other at some nearby eatery, and he walks up to your table with a big pearly smile, and goes, “hey, you’re the nokia X6 girl” and you smile sheepishly and say “haha yes that’s me” and then he introduces himself to your company, and vice versa, and then y’all ask him to sit down, and then you two hit it off and your friends being good useful friends will henceforth disappear, leaving you and Stretch Guy to take the party elsewhere. i guess CLEO also taught me some stuff when i was 13.

  2. LMAO

  3. Wooooo…I can imagine a few more “interesting” scenarios….hehehe….something in the lines of rolling passionately on the stretch mat….

  4. was this a movie scenes?

  5. Quaintly got good happy ending!

    I own a gym so people love to ask if I got lots of guys at my disposal. Unfortunately no. I’m not into buff bodies, more the sporty, lean, athletic type (which have better chances to be found at my kind of gym) but due to the fact that I’m the big boss’ daughter and the big boss is one of the highest ranked Taekwondo Masters in Malaysia, the clients might be a tad intimidated. Hehe.

    The internet is a good place to find good guys. So far I’ve had like, only 2 bfs whom I have really really loved – and I found both through the net. :)

    As for bookstores, the tip is to strike up conversation. Not sit there and bury your nose in the book ok! Carry the book in your hand and walk around, or look at what the cute guy is reading then ask him about the book! No wonder it doesn’t work – you’re doing it all wrong!!! :P

  6. su ann: heh i really like your version of it so let’s both pray! :P

    fA: Bleh

    nick: … wrestling?

    horng: it can be! want to audition?

    jouyin: haha you’re so speaking from experience, aren’t you?? :P gosh i can imagine guys being real scared of you.. not of you actually but of what your dad could do to them!!

    as for that bookstore scene… it was years ago but i’m pretty sure me and mei looked up once in a while to complete the vision of ‘engrossed in book cos we are so smart and intelligent but looking up for a breath of fresh air and to catch the eye of any cute passer by.” nope…

  7. I’d say there is still hope! Coming from a guy who was in similar “predicament” when I was single; well maybe minus the fumbly incidents. 

    As a guy who used to frequent “designer” gyms, who, in all honesty, wouldn’t mind chatting up a girl, these things could happen. 

    This probably reflects my personality. To me, if a girl frequents a gym, she probably is into healthy habits; and the way she conducts herself in the gym, shows if she’s healthy long-term (I can’t stand girls/women smokers), or joined it at a spur (giggly vs leave me alone I’m here to seriously get fit type). The way she dresses for gym may also show off her figure- not only is it easy for us guys to check out, she is also likely self-confident, which I find sexy too. 

    I personally had never chatted anyone up in a gym. Mostly cos I could be a bit shy and wouldn’t have the first clue what to say- “err… You.. Err workout here often ah?” (Watch “she’s out of my league” movie and you’ll know). But I dare say that the reversed-role would happen too, as was your case with Mr Stretchy Guy. 

    What’s my point again?

    So ya. Don’t be so skeptical. It can happen, and I am sure you are more likely to find guys who are also into fitness but not there to buff-up and manly-grunt thinking that that appeals to women. 

  8. Hilarious! Hahas. This should be called ‘What not to do when you meet a hot guy’. Heh.

    I hit the gym 3 times a week, but have never come across gay sex in the showers before. Lol. Maybe my gym is in Singapore :p

  9. ROFL!!!

    Cant blif u rmbered that bit! Its like blast from the past!
    Maybe it was something we did wrong. Like sitting cross legged on the floor. Didnt really shout “Available” or “Irresistable” ya know? Hmm…

    I am still holding out the meet-guy-in-bookstore fantasy. You have to live it up for me, ya hear! Go patrol Borders this weekend! I tink better choice of eye dish than say, urm, Popular? >_<

  10. Mei: I find that one of the best bookstores to talk to people is Kinokuniya – there’s even a quiet isolated cafe upstairs for private chats! Most coffee places tend to be a tad too public. :) Go go both of you!!!

  11. LMAO always a good read :P

  12. you’ll get fresh new chances from new ppl in new apartment soon!

  13. Bookstore scenario happened to me in not nice way. Creepy angmohs chatting me up/stalking me = not fun.

    Try Kino, you might get lucky LOLOL.

  14. Hey, so did you need to get your Nokia X6 fixed?

  15. nope, my nokia x6 is working fine. and since then i’ve dropped it countless times :P

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