hey hey you you your concert’s cancelled

Posted at August 21, 2008

I honestly do not give a shit about Avril Lavigne. She bores me. Her songs bore me. Her lyrics bore me. Her antics bore me. Her clothing line bores the shit out of me. I also don’t really care if she wants to perform in Kuala Lumpur or Timbuktu because you can’t pay me to go watch her live. I’d rather stay at home and annoy the heck out of Ryan while listening to his mom dish out advise about life, the universe and everything.

(I wait for the day she would spout out ‘42′)

But the whole hoo-ha about her concert’s on, not on, on, not on is beginning to bug me. When it starts appearing on PerezHilton or TMZ, it’s a sign that moderate-thinking Malaysians are groaning, ‘not again’. The last time we made international news on a positive note (I think) was the alcohol-loving treeshrew who doesn’t get drunk. Everything else has been so far damn fucking embarrassing. Of course you could argue that there’s nothing worth reporting if there’s nothing negative happening. That’s not true. Ever heard of ‘no news is good news’?

I read that Shafie claims the whole cancellation was because of our Merdeka celebrations. From my very personal point of view, he’s not wrong in doing so. Unless Avril Lavigne is willing to make an appearance before Siti Nurhaliza at our Merdeka Day concert and belt out a couple while screaming, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA, I LOVE KUALA LUMPUR”, then she really ought to think about postponing her concert here. To the organisers, what the fuck were you thinking? You are a Malaysian company right? Haven’t you lived in Malaysia long enough to understand how things work/ are bound to work? Don’t you know that our government officials are very touchy and sensitive about things like ‘nationalism’, ‘national day’, ‘unsuitable elements for Merdeka’, ‘white supremacy’, ‘gyrating hips’, ‘hak istimewa Melayu’, ‘Tun Dr Mahathir’, ‘Rosmah’ among others? Really, we should take away your IC. Go balik Tong San while you are at it.

So, postpone lah your concert. See if I care. But if Shafie doesn’t give you permission to hold it AFTER the Merdeka celebrations, then by all means go to the press. You’ll have all the rights in the world to complain about it till the cows come home. When that happens, I’ll… uhm… I don’t know, blog about it again?

As for the objections that Avril Lavigne is too sexy to be performing in Malaysia, please, get a grip. Are you fucking kidding me? ‘Avril Lavigne’ and ’sexy’ should never be used in the same sentence, ever. Stephen Gately dressed in fur and feather is sexier than Avril Lavigne. Betty White hobbling down the street is sexier than Avril Lavigne. The Niagara Falls is sexier than Avril Lavigne. A popsicle is sexier than Avril Lavigne. Ryan wrapped in orange cloth is sexier than Avril Lavigne.

Ryan wrapped in cloth
Ohai, I am sexier than Avril Lavigne, kthxbai

Sekian, terima kasih.

Emotions Taking Me Over
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