hey hey you you your concert’s cancelled

I honestly do not give a shit about Avril Lavigne. She bores me. Her songs bore me. Her lyrics bore me. Her antics bore me. Her clothing line bores the shit out of me. I also don’t really care if she wants to perform in Kuala Lumpur or Timbuktu because you can’t pay me to go watch her live. I’d rather stay at home and annoy the heck out of Ryan while listening to his mom dish out advise about life, the universe and everything.

(I wait for the day she would spout out ’42′)

But the whole hoo-ha about her concert’s on, not on, on, not on is beginning to bug me. When it starts appearing on PerezHilton or TMZ, it’s a sign that moderate-thinking Malaysians are groaning, ‘not again’. The last time we made international news on a positive note (I think) was the alcohol-loving treeshrew who doesn’t get drunk. Everything else has been so far damn fucking embarrassing. Of course you could argue that there’s nothing worth reporting if there’s nothing negative happening. That’s not true. Ever heard of ‘no news is good news’?

I read that Shafie claims the whole cancellation was because of our Merdeka celebrations. From my very personal point of view, he’s not wrong in doing so. Unless Avril Lavigne is willing to make an appearance before Siti Nurhaliza at our Merdeka Day concert and belt out a couple while screaming, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA, I LOVE KUALA LUMPUR”, then she really ought to think about postponing her concert here. To the organisers, what the fuck were you thinking? You are a Malaysian company right? Haven’t you lived in Malaysia long enough to understand how things work/ are bound to work? Don’t you know that our government officials are very touchy and sensitive about things like ‘nationalism’, ‘national day’, ‘unsuitable elements for Merdeka’, ‘white supremacy’, ‘gyrating hips’, ‘hak istimewa Melayu’, ‘Tun Dr Mahathir’, ‘Rosmah’ among others? Really, we should take away your IC. Go balik Tong San while you are at it.

So, postpone lah your concert. See if I care. But if Shafie doesn’t give you permission to hold it AFTER the Merdeka celebrations, then by all means go to the press. You’ll have all the rights in the world to complain about it till the cows come home. When that happens, I’ll… uhm… I don’t know, blog about it again?

As for the objections that Avril Lavigne is too sexy to be performing in Malaysia, please, get a grip. Are you fucking kidding me? ‘Avril Lavigne’ and ‘sexy’ should never be used in the same sentence, ever. Stephen Gately dressed in fur and feather is sexier than Avril Lavigne. Betty White hobbling down the street is sexier than Avril Lavigne. The Niagara Falls is sexier than Avril Lavigne. A popsicle is sexier than Avril Lavigne. Ryan wrapped in orange cloth is sexier than Avril Lavigne.

Ryan wrapped in cloth
Ohai, I am sexier than Avril Lavigne, kthxbai

Sekian, terima kasih.

Comments

  1. 42!!!!!!!!!! :-)

    ‘Of course you could argue that there’s nothing worth reporting if there’s nothing negative happening. That’s not true. Ever heard of ‘no news is good news’? ‘

    Um … isn’t that sort of agreeing with itself. If there is no news it means there is good news, which means nothing was reported as there was nothing negative happening???

    Anyway, no news is not always good news.
    ‘Have we heard from the Titanic yet? She’s was due to make radio contact four hours ago!’
    ‘No we haven’t, Captain!’
    ‘Thank goodness for that. It means she must be fine. After all, no news is good news!’

    ‘“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA, I LOVE KUALA LUMPUR”,’

    I’m sure Avril will scream this out instead:
    “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALACA! I LOVE OOMPA LOOPAS!!!”

  2. I agree with Ryan being sexier than Avril Lavigne.

    SO KIUT!!!!

    ONE11111111111

    *dies of cuteness overload*

  3. we should wrap Avril Lavigne up in orange cloth and see if the Ryan Method works on her as well….

  4. BLAME CANADA!!

  5. Ryan!!!! wakaaakakakak! Kesian this little budak, kena exploited kau kau for the aunt’s blog :P Child labour!!!! :D :D

  6. ohai, you’re exploited by your aunt again, Ryan!

    When you can finally read this, ask her for 15% blog advertisement cut!

  7. Some bad ticket sales reverse promotion ;)

  8. When that happens, I’ll… uhm… I don’t know, blog about it again?

    Haha! I love this witty bits in your writing.

    What positive news about the treeshrew who didn’t get drunk? I missed that, when did that happen?

    The last bit of international Bad News (TM) that I heard before (or was it after?) rehab was the centrifugal technology transfer (sale?) to certain countries deemed undesirable by the international community for possible nuclear use.

  9. yes, i am now convinced how much you DONT like her :P

  10. Oi, the ad on radio about MyEG is misleading.. said can get the road tax refunds online, mana ada

  11. dabs: not always, but almost always

    erna: bwaahha

    eyeris: nah. something about the aura :P

    suertes: they did apologise for bryan adams…

    sharon n: heahehae oh trust me, he enjoys it

    ky: i get him stuff what

    moo_t: hmm come to think of it…

    HB: heheh a couple of weeks ago. go google ‘drunk treeshrew’ haha

    zewt: oh wait i haven’t ranted to you on gtalk yet

    LT: huh ask them lah

  12. POOR RYAN KENA USED AGAIN!!!!!

  13. BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! May I add? Suan in my old Satria boot is sexier than Avril Lavigne!

    Inilah kesan pengaruh Islam cap Hadhari…

  14. OMG! I can’t believe I haven’t heard about this. I’ve been away from the recreational use circle for too long. I’ve gotta go to Perak and check this out.

  15. haha..i thought ryan pic meant to be a “digi” ad..

  16. my testis jumped out of its sac when I originally read the news at perez. twice.

  17. FA: he’s a willing slave ok

    dean: which reminds me, i need to revive that suanie in a car boot series again…

    HB: hahaheahe perak wtf?

    lotsofcravings: hello.. that’s YELLOW man.. ryan’s in an ORANGE cloth lah heh

    izad: er. is that good or bad? :P

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge