suanie’s statutory declaration

I had a most vivid dream early this morning. It involves me, Jason Mraz, a baby and blended avocados. Can’t really tell you the details because…

1) I guess it involves me being head over heels with Jason Mraz, and that itself is somewhat embarrassing
2) I really don’t want a baby of my own, unless it’s with Jason Mraz. Since that is not likely to happen this lifetime or the next, I don’t want my mom who reads my blog to go…
3) “YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANT A BABY! BUT FIRST YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANT A HUSBAND WHICH MEANS YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANT A BOYFRIEND!”, because…
4) Too many of my high school friends are getting married and I made the mistake of telling her who’s who getting hitched and invited me to their wedding dinners.

Speaking of which, I attended my high school mate LL’s wedding dinner in BP last weekend.

Suanie with Li Lian at her wedding dinner
Me with the beautiful bride

It was lovely meeting up with my high school mates, some of them whom I met not long ago during our 10th year reunion in May, and some whom I have not seen since 1998. It didn’t make me feel like getting married.

Met a friend’s husband for the first time. Didn’t make me feel like getting married. Another friend told me that Irene, whose engagement dinner I attended two years ago might be holding her wedding banquet soon. Didn’t make me feel like getting married. A cousin revealed that her boyfriend proposed and showed me her engagement ring. Didn’t make me feel like getting married. Was chatting with minishorts on GTalk for a bit this morning and she talked about her upcoming wedding plans. Didn’t make me feel like getting married. Am attending Dr Vagus‘ wedding dinner this weekend. I doubt that would make me feel like getting married.

Since statutory declarations are all the rage now, I think I’ll make one ala Gier.

***

I, Suanie of Suanie.net… do solemnly and sincerely declare as follows:-

1. I am of non-debatable sound mind and relatively good health, and am prone to pre and post-menstrual syndrome as and when my ovaries decide to release an egg which will pass through my fallopian tubes to my uterus very much unfertilised.

2. Despite my constant war of words with Ryan and his constant abuse of my physical being, I love him very much.

3. Even though my tolerance of children has significantly increased since my sister gave birth to Ryan, I still do not enjoy being around random kids especially in shopping malls. I will never be a kindergarten teacher.

4. When the time comes for me to have my own baby, I’d be happily married to either Jason Mraz, John Mayer or a significantly loaded guy who is not too shabby-looking and in possession of an intelligent and imaginative mind as well as a poetic soul. My Jason Mraz, John Mayer or a significantly loaded guy who is not too shabby-looking and in possession of an intelligent and imaginative mind as well as a poetic soul will be able to tell the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

5. He will also have a yacht.

6. When my friends get married or have plans to get married, I feel happy for them. That happiness for other people’s happiness does not translate to nor is equal to me wanting to get married myself.

7. All of the above was not written in a defensive mode, and is not a sly reverse psychology gesture in light of my current status as a single female.

8. Item no. 7 was not written in a defensive mode in anticipation of possible allegations of me writing everything above in a defensive mode, and was not a sly reverse psychology gesture from me to counter possible allegations of me employing a sly reverse psychology gesture upon myself and those around me.

9. Ditto.

10. The purpose of this statutory declaration is to:

10.1 State my firm and unwavering opinion that some 27-years old single females such as myself are not in a rush to tie the knot.

10.2 Express my concern that my mother’s mind is fettered with ideas that I am secretly wanting to get married because I happened to mention to her and my siblings that some of my friends are to be wed in the near future.

10.3 Emphasize the fact that I have no such existing ideas and notions in my head, unless she is willing to sponsor me a ticket to the Singapore Festival in August where Jason Mraz will be playing and will spot me among thousands of people in the crowd and fall in love with me instantly and bring me to the States with him and marry me at a simple ceremony where “I’m Yours” is on repeat in the background.

11. And I make this solemn declaration conscientiously believing the same be true and by virtue of the provisions of the Statutory Declaration Act 1960.

SUBSCRIBED and SOLEMNLY DECLARED by the abovenamed SUANIE at HER DESK in the State of Selangor this day of 04 JULY 2008 before THE HUNDREDS OF READERS ON HER BLOG.

sounds like home to me

Read this off BBC:

Tackling Qingdao’s invading algae

[…]
Locals say the algae has never been so thick here – agricultural and industrial pollution are thought to be responsible.

But China, embarrassed by the most vivid proof yet of its environmental problems, says the algae is a natural occurrence, and blames the sea for being too salty, the sun for being too hot.

At a news conference earlier in the day one official suggested that algae could be good for you.

“The Japanese eat it,” she said.

[…] Click here to read more

If one day every Malaysian minister gets the can, I’m sure China will welcome them with open arms. Excellent work experience, after all.

we had fun @ euphoria by ministry of sound!

Last Wednesday and Thursday, in FA’s words, we were lucky to attend the preview of Euphoria by Ministry of Sound. I didn’t even know they opened a MOS in Malaysia. That shows you how little I know, or care.

But it was fun and I’m really glad I went because it has been a while since I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself at a club. Maybe it was because of the pre-launch thingy, where there weren’t so many people and the management was trying to impress. When you are the beneficiary of such generosity, you do not voice a word of complain :D

On Wednesday we got there rather early, at about 9 p.m. Was worth it because after touring the entire place (upstairs and downstairs and basement) we managed to get a great table underneath the stairs, next to the DJ booth, overlooking the dance floor. It’s the most awesome spot, I tell you. So if you are someone important or glamorous or just damn lucky to get your pick of tables, take that one.

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - Fireangel and Suanie
Fireangel and me at said table

Beer, cocktails and red/white wines were free-flow (until about 11 something pm) and there was plenty to munch on, so you can imagine our happiness level. Waiter was also very friendly, dumping a whole load of beer on our table. Rather good ventilation too, as you can only smoke in designated smoking areas, which resemble those available at airports. At The Deq (which is something like a lounge, more well-lit equipped with comfy sofas), there is an open deck so that’s nice.

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - awesome dj
Think this dude’s from Miami, USA and boy was he good!

If the two nights that we were there were anything to go by, you can be sure the music will be smooth, groovy, dance-able, chill-able, get you up and dancing, dazzle your imagination, etc. Okay, except for any R&B shit. Call me biased, prejudiced, judgmental, snob, in possession of little or no taste, whatever — but there is a time limit on how long one can dance to R&B without getting bored and/or looking for something else to move on to. Like, 15 minutes. See, this doesn’t happen when it comes to house/ trance! Anyone who disagrees does not deserve to party at Euphoria :D

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - Suanie with extremely tall monster
Halloween came early

Being the pre-pre-launch, there was of course entertainment in form of chicks and dudes on stilts and the compulsory sexy dancers in skimpy clothing. Besides the one in the photo above, there was a dude which we dubbed ‘lobster man’ because… he looked like a lobster? There were a couple of chicks prancing about on stilts; if I wore a hat, I’d take it off to them.

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - Suanie with angels

A couple of chicks were almost stripper-dancing on stage. The one on my left was really good; she was slightly more voluptuous than the on my right and her timing to the music was always spot on.

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - 25 June 2008
Dangerous chick and dance floor. Click on the photo above for a slightly larger version

The following night, we were there again, only this time with more people. Played around with QIK (which I am getting bored with) and this is Kim and ST as we waited for people… *click here for the video*

There are a couple more videos I took at The Deq but you’ll have to go look for them. iMalas to copy paste bla bla.

This time round we hung out at The Deq instead of the main room. Got ourselves a nice corner with a sofa and pillows. Definitely more people than the night before, met Dawn Jeremiah for the first time (VERY friendly and gregarious not to mention hot) and well, it was fun.

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound Pre-launch - 26 June 2008
Me with Mike Yip, Reta, FA and Kim (photo stolen from Mike Yip)

Wah, 2 nights out in a row! I must be getting younger :P

Btw Euphoria by MOS is next to the Sunway Lagoon Resort. I guess you can just park your car at the hotel’s basement car park. If I am not mistaken, they officially open for business tonight. Apparently you need to be 21 years old and above to enter the club, so sorry Rachel :D

fail

Jesscet contacted a few of us for an article she’s writing for a local magazine. In case you were wondering, it’s a piece on local bloggers and the blogosphere. Seriously, what other claim to fame could I cling on to? I’ve never been to the DPM’s office, that’s for sure.

So yesterday we went to Centrepoint for a mini photo-shoot. The photographer (who is very good!!) got me standing in the middle between Ringo (on my right) and Su Ann (on my left). KY sat in front of us three girls.

When the photographer yelled out, “BE FUNNY! BE SILLY! BE CRAZY!” we started posing lah. I stopped at about the 5th *click* (of the camera) because… uh that was all I could do. But he continued to click away, and I stood there like a dungu, and the two girls beside me posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed and posed like pros… and I still stood there like a dungu.

Feel free to ask for a live demo of this story when you see me next.