friends
Is it a bit too emo to start this post on a general contemplative note? Or should I not be thinking too much of the past, what it was, what it could have been, and just move on and celebrate my late quarter life crisis as it is?
Whenever I think of my primary/ high school mates or face the possibility of a gathering, I would be mentally wrecked with apprehension and uncertainty. 11 years is a long time to know someone, but not really knowing that someone, yet feeling that you have known that person all your life. That is why picking up conversation with someone whom you have not seen since high school is relatively easy for me — the joy of meeting up again, tracking her path in life after school, reminiscing the blue pinafore days…
But does she remember that I used to resent her for ’stealing’ my only friend in Primary 1? Does she remember that we used to challenge her religious views, in every sense making fun of her beliefs just because those are not my beliefs? Does she remember that awkward time when she challenged me for a position that I had every reason to believe was due to be mine, and how hurt I was at that ‘betrayal’? Does she remember that letter I wrote in a fit of spite about her personality and characteristics that I thought (at that time) was phony, and how she’d cried upon reading that letter, and how she rushed to me wanting to clear the air, and I ran away in fear not knowing exactly what to do? And how I’ve regretted that incident until today, and even as she talks to me now and wants to take photographs, I feel so ashamed of my doings that it takes one too many ounces of my will not to suddenly hug her and tell her that I am so sorry.
I love them all dearly, you see.
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I know exactly how you feel – reunions (especially those with my high school friends) bring back mixed feelings. On the surface, you want to show them you’re a different person, but deep down you’re the same…how?
i did the letter thingi once and then 7 years later, there was a gathering of primary school friends. haven’t actually spoke to her for 7 years (since the letter) and met her there. we talked a bit (no mentions of the letter obviously) but i felt so so so so bad and ashamed.
one of the things i’m so not proud of.
A lot of people fucked up a lot of other people in school.
At one such reunion the other day, while drunk, I told the guy to “fuck it and forget the past” because we were all young and stupid. This was before I poured him another Glenfiddich on the rocks.
Yah, it was akward as hell. But at least it cleared a lot of shit.
I’ve never been to a reunion, perhaps Facebook shall facilitate one in the future!
i feel the same way! and i did a hell lot of stupid things when i was in primary school! and then some more in secondary -_-”
I am blessed with a horribly patchy memory.
I wish to gift some of my fuzziness to you. If only I could..
Reminiscing the old days sometimes has this little pinch of irony. It’s like you when you’re working in the metropolitan lifestyle: you enjoy remembering the good old days, when things were simple – and it was much easier to amuse ourselves with the… little things in life. We wanted to grow up to make a difference.
Now as we grow older and with more responsibilities piled on our shoulders, we yearn for the good old days – even though we were silly & weren’t tactful
Now we want to go back to being young, and less defined – yet happy?
Man, I was such a dumb duck. *slaps forehead*
I get all my reunions at wedding dinners these days
I hate reunion of any kind and therefore dun bother to attend. To me, it is basically a show off session and I have never been in the mood to compete with anyone. Hahaha… all will come in their sunday best and after all the “hi… so long never see” line.. the drama starts..Waste time!
Moreover, I still keep in touch with my primary and secondary friends which by the way are not that many and most of them are all over the world. Whenever I go over to their respective countries, I will stay with them and have a jolly good time! Hehehe..
Ya, wedding dinners. 3 invitations and still counting.
beetrice: or maybe we have changed to overlook all these pettiness, and became a better person for it, but got some regrets on how things went… how ?
reallybites: haih same feelings here
vincent: but all learning experiences tho
ST: fly back? Heh
amy: aha everyone did
suertes: me too
NC: i don’t want to make a difference no more lol let me earn my daily bread?
ky: got la one or two on my side
nottygurl: hmmm didn’t really see any showing off during our reunions.. but i guess i haven’t met all of them lol
simon: ouch