don’t buy me stuff kthx

Posted at January 8, 2008

That came off sounding rather ungrateful, doesn’t it? Well, in my defense, I think it’s a well-intended message on my part to friends or anyone in my life. They should be thankful to me, and I’ll tell you why.

You know how people go on holidays and they come back with trinkets and souvenirs ‘exclusive’ to the countries they’d been? Not only are they all made in China, they serve absolutely no purpose except to assure your loved ones and friends back home that you thought of them while you were out having fun. Or so you assume anyway. Why, thank you for the lovely koala bear key chain; I’ll just put it in my closet along with the 14 other koala bear key chains that I already own.

You see, if you go away for a holiday, I’d want you to thoroughly enjoy yourself without a burden on your shoulders thinking that you are obligated to get me something. If you are there for work purposes, work! Spend whatever extra time you have exploring new places, or holed up in your hotel room emptying the mini bar (hello G). If you think of me once in a while, well it’s nice and I appreciate it. But I am not a shadow constantly whispering to your conscience that I am in need of a souvenir from wherever you are at. If you know me well enough, know that I’d want you to utterly, exhaustively and soundly (how’s that for my Shift+F7 skills?) have fun! Feeling compelled to spend some money on something that I would probably never use (ever) does not sound like fun to me. And if it is not fun to me, I don’t reckon it’s fun for you.

A couple years ago, FA went to Thailand for a few days of sun, sea and sand. She came back with fancy incense kits for some of us. It was pretty, no doubt, but if you think of it, a waste of money. One year later I got fed up with the thing taking up space on my table, so I teared it open and proceeded to lit the incense. It went poof within an hour. When a few of us went to Redang, we felt obliged to get her something. So I got her a colourful paper fan, which I don’t remember if she ever received (since I mostly throw my stuff in various places and proceed to forget about them). But you get what I mean.

When KY went to Myanmar on a working trip, he came back with gifts for us — the first one was a rather heavy golden elephant key chain, and the second one was a jade-ish pendant. When he returned from Japan, we got a cute Japanese paper doll. I love KY, but I also told him off. KY being KY grinned, and I understand that it is in his nature to look out for people. But I think we established that we should no longer give each other souvenirs (FA included) from different countries.

Sure, I love presents. But presents should only be given if you sincerely wish to give, and it should be something special and unique based on what you think the other person would like and appreciate. If you do not think enough of me to get me something, then don’t. I am not going to sulk and cry :) And I don’t want any of you (family members included) to feel any need at all to get me anything unless I specifically asked you to get them. If you still feel beholden to the traditional culture that you should bring something back, buy some chocolates (that are unavailable locally) to share. Or spicy beef jerky from Taiwan. Or Brazil nuts in their kernels. Or macadamia nuts from Australia. Or a cup of sand for KY. Or a hunky male Spaniard. Now, THAT I would appreciate :D

Kthx.

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