Archives for 2008

singapore dec ’08 – brewerkz

So when I said I was going to park my arse at Brewerkz all night long, I meant that I was going to park my arse at Brewerkz all night long. Am very happy that my friends like me enough to accommodate my request 😀

Just some quick photos though, because they say a thousand words 😉 Also because I am thinking of how and what to write on ‘Muallaf’, seeing that it is likely to be more important than frivolous blogging about alcohol.

Singapore Dec '08 - Winnie at Brewerkz
Winnie with our golden ale tower

Singapore Dec '08 - Dr Buckaroo and Suanie
Me with Dr. Buckaroo. Won’t see him for a while, as he’s leaving the continent…

Ah Seng came by and brought me a bottle of his home brew. Seriously, the dude should open his own brewery. It was a lot better than golden ale!

Singapore Dec '08 - Suanie with Edwin's home brew
Me with Ah Seng’s precious home brew

As mentioned earlier, I saw Yoon Kit on the same flight to Singapore. He and a couple of friends managed to drop by that night.

Singapore Dec '08 - Edwin, Suanie and YK at Brewerkz
Ah Seng, me and Yoon Kit

Maybe the reason I didn’t suck so much on the Brand’s Blogger Challenge was thanks to the golden ale and Ah Seng’s home brew. Heheh.. what? Some people’s version of nourishment is different, you know 😉

BTW I would like to plug Data Domain. They are like, so awesome that you should go and check it out right now. They are so great, it’s ridiculous how great they are!

They also paid for booze Kthxbai!

brand’s blogger challenge: 1st runner-up, second place, number 2

… also known as “WE LOST!” Well, it was not totally unexpected. Ya lah, sure you think that I’m only saying that because we lost. Well, check with my other team members if you don’t believe me 😛

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 01 Team Malaysia at breakfast
Me, KY, Red Mummy, Sultan Muzaffar and Babe in the City‘s other half, KK

The organisers put us up at the Grand Copthorne Waterfront hotel, and we met for breakfast on Wednesday morning. Had a short briefing, then off we went to Geek Terminal. Apparently it’s a popular cafe for events, and they serve awesome coffee. Turns out to be Illy.

There we met with members of Team Singapore – EastCoastLife, Sheylara, Aaron, Mr. Endoh and Wilfrid. EastCoastLife is the marketing director for MENSA Singapore. If that doesn’t scare the shit out of you when it comes to mental challenges like these and you are on the opposing team, I don’t know what will.

After a short presentation – an overview of the Asia Mental Performance Survey that was conducted by BRAND’S in 2007, the host introduced all 10 members from the two teams. There’d be 7 rounds of games to test our… uh, mental alertness 😛 And off we went!

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 02 Team Malaysia
Team Malaysia. Photo shamelessly nicked from Wilfred

Round 1: Unscrambling alphabets to form words. At this point, I was like, whaa… Where was the logic puzzle that I’d tried to brace myself for? So this is going to be like flash games or certain Facebook apps lah? Hah! Not that it would make things easier, but it’d definitely be less embarrassing. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather be embarrassed from not knowing how to unscramble words than not knowing the square root of 50. Punca kuasa dua I know lah.

Round 2: Math questions, a.k.a. my 2nd worst nightmare .The first would be a horrifying ghost with a tragically disfigured face chasing me down an empty road at night. Then I’d keep running and screaming and crying because most ghosts can fly and I can’t, so I’d automatically be at the losing end. But I don’t remember the ghosts wanting to kill or eat me or anything; they seemed happy by just scaring my wits out.

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 03 Team Singapore
Team Singapore. Photo shamelessly nicked from Wilfred

Round 3: Watch a BRAND’S commercial, then re-arrange 5 screen shots in sequence. Tembak only lah.

Round 4: Guess the words. E.g. 18 H on a G C = 18 HOLES on a GOLF COURSE. Funniest part was 12 S of the Z, and KK answered, “12 STRIPES OF THE ZEBRA”. Stunned, then laughter all around 😛

Round 5: Boggle! Or at least a variation of. We didn’t do so well on this one, heh.

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 04 Team Malaysia pretending to be thoughtful
Team Malaysia, me pretending to be thoughtful. Photo shamelessly nicked from Wilfred

Round 6: Three bottles of BRAND’S, one contains a chicken, bottles of brands being moved around, guess which bottle contains the chicken. It’s a blink and miss thing. Nearly took my eyes out on this one.

Round 7: Watch a BRAND’S commercial, answer some questions such as, “how many friends were at the table?” If we hadn’t had known that we didn’t possess photographic memories, well… guess we found it out 😛

The final score for Team Malaysia vs Team Singapore was 47:54. Not that bad lah, kan? Hahaha we did try lah… seriously… so, like that lor. Congrats to Team Singapore! Was very nice to meet you guys and girls. We had fun, yah? Can hang out if and when you come to KL 🙂

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 05 Suanie with BRANDS products
Me with part of my prize! Brand’s chicken essence and bird’s nest

For our efforts, we received a nice hamper filled with BRAND’S essence of chicken and bird’s nest. I gave it to my Pinky, because she really loves their essence of chicken. Plus it was her birthday not too long ago 😛 Also received S$120 each. Yayness!

Well, thanks to BRAND’S, Cerebos and Burson-Marsteller for having us. We had lots of fun! Thanks to Winnie for coming over to laugh at me provide moral support. Thanks to those from the media who turned up; some of you were funny :P. Was lovely meeting you, Rinaz and congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Thanks to assorted friends for messaging me in various forms ordering me to do well or else. Thanks to the Scots for inventing kilts; really helpful to those who are in possession of wonderful imaginations. Well, I’m just saying, hah.

And thanks to KY, Red Mummy, KK and Sultan Muzaffar for being awesome team mates!

BRAND'S Blogger Challenge - 06 Group photo
Group photo, shamelessly nicked from EastCoastLife

And that’s that 🙂

singapore dec ’08 – arrived!

Now we are chilling out at the hotel cafe while waiting for our rooms to be ready. Having way too much fun with the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music.

On the plane - KY and Suanie
KY and I with our trusty companions 😉

Saw Yoon Kit on the same plane. Hah, so coincidence one…

seriously, i do not represent you in any way

That is if you are a Malaysian or a blogger. Specifically, a Malaysian who blogs. Well, I just want to get that out of the way in case you should feel the need to admonish my stupidity in the near future. Trust me, I know that I am stupid. Someone who is not very bright. A dolt. Have peas for brains. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. As smart as bait. Low on thinking gas. No hay in the loft. Proof that God has a sense of humour. Member of the Anti-Mensa Society. Useful as piss on a forest fire. Wise as the world is flat. Another brain in me would be lonely. Calling me stupid would be insulting stupid people.

So when Selena sent me an e-mail inviting me to participate in the BRANDS® Malaysian vs Singaporean Bloggers mental performance challenge, I acted on my first instinct — thanks but no thanks. Being painfully aware of something lacking in my brains department can be a lifesaver at times. I replied her e-mail, being as honest as I thought possible, that is admitting to my stupidity. I guess she’d went through a few notable bloggers before ending up on my site, and she e-mailed back saying that it would be easy peasy, nothing to worry about, fun fun fun. Against my better judgement, I agreed, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

Last week she sent over something she called the BRANDS brain training kit. It was a huge ass parcel, containing 14 bottles of Brand’s Chicken Essence and some info about the event. I’ve been drinking a bottle of the chicken essence everyday since receiving the parcel. There was also a small box with a few flash cards, an indication of what the upcoming mental challenge is about. I took a quick look at the cards and almost went into cardiac arrest.

Bottles of Brand's chicken essence
The photo above not only suggests that I have an impeccable taste in bed and pillow sheets, but also is a representation of what the brain training kit contains

I remember that we had to take an IQ test in Standard Six. It was an evaluation to see how smart we were, and the one or two lucky top scorers would be extended an invitation to continue her studies at a boarding school. For some reason, it was impressed upon us that this was a great honour. Only one girl whom I know and was rather close with received the invitation, and I have not seen her since. Not only did the skewed IQ test was proof that I was as dumb as they come, it also robbed me of a friend. So you can’t blame me if I think poorly of these stupid tests.

The fact that I can’t answer most of them is irrelevant.

Unfortunately, that is what the flash cards are about. You know, logic puzzles. Brain teasers. Riddles that will never help you in real life such as, “A mother is 21 years older than her child. In exactly 6 years from now, the mother will be exactly 5 times as old as the child. Where’s the father?” and “You are mixing cement and the recipe calls for five gallons of water. You have a garden hose giving you all the water you need. The problem is that you only have a four gallon bucket and a seven gallon bucket and nether has graduation marks. Find a method to measure five gallons.”. Who the fuck knows?!? Okay, maybe you do. What do they have to do with real life crisis, such as, “Why is this fucking Kancil driving so slowly in front of me on the right lane, and why is that stupid Camry driving so slowly next to the fucking Kancil on the left lane, making it impossible for me to zoom past these two stupid cars?”

I do not have an answer for that, just like how I do not have answers for the logic puzzles. Plus when viewed from another perspective (mine), I truly and honestly do not give a shit. Who cares how old the mother was when she gave birth to her first child? Who cares where the fuck the father is? I’ll give you 10 gallon buckets to STFU and go away. I have enough on my plate to lose sleep over.

So next Wednesday, I’ll be in the Lion City participating in the BRAND’S Malaysian vs Singaporean bloggers challenge. The Malaysian team members are RedMummy, Sultan Muzaffar, Babe in the City, KY and yours truly. I don’t think…. actually I KNOW that I will come out looking like the stupid dumbfuck that I am. So please, no rotten eggs or tomatoes… I hereby announce that I represent neither Malaysia nor Malaysian bloggers in the challenge, and that it’s all in good fun, and you will probably do better than me in the challenge. As such, you will also most likely do better in life than me. Good for you, see if I care.

I’ll also be parking my arse at Brewerkz @ Riverside Point from Tuesday evening onwards. Feel free to come join. BYOB.

ryan and his piggy buns

During our food review trip at Canton-i, we were graciously given a RM50 voucher, redeemable at Dragon-i. Thank you thank you 😀

(And thank you to my brother-in-law who topped up the rest of the bill 😉 )

Ryan had a menu to himself, and got VERY excited when he saw the photo of the piggy buns.

So he got an order of the piggy buns with red bean paste, and he was happy 😀

Ryan with piggy buns at Dragon-i

once upon a time – part two

If you’ve always wondered what wailing banshees sound like, feel free to drop by my place come Ryan’s shower time. Ryan sometimes cries when he does not get what he wants. Ryan sometimes whines when he’s told to do something that he does not want to do. Ryan ALWAYS screams when he has to go get himself cleaned. I have no doubt that our neighbours are well-acquainted with the loud howls and whimpers that come with his loathing of the shower two times a day.

I do not know what to make of this. It is not as if the kid has to do it himself, being privileged enough to have a kakak to wash him as if he was an after-dinner dirty dish. But mention to him, “Come Ryan, shower time!”, he turns into the most impossible lil’ tyke. To be precise, a most impossible kicking, yelling, screaming, crying, whining, pleading, sobbing lil’ tyke.

I related all this to a friend, who then suggested that I tell Ryan a story about boys who don’t shower. Basically adapting Johnny The Vegetarian Shark to Johnny The Dirty Shark, or something along the lines of. I thought it was a great idea, as I honestly didn’t think of it before. I decided to try it on Ryan that very night.

Once upon a time, there was a shark who lived in the ocean. His name was Johnny, and he has many friends because he is a vegetarian shark. That means he does not eat meat or fish, only fruits and vegetables. That’s why he has many friends who are fish, because they are not afraid of him. One day Johnny decided that he did not want to shower any more. So he stopped showering, and soon he became dirty and smelly. Then all his friends started to avoid him because they did not want to be friends with a dirty and smelly shark. Johnny became very sad and he cried. After a while, he realised that his friends were very important to him, and he wanted them back. So he decided to shower again. Then all his friends came back and Johnny was a happy clean shark again.

“Oh,” Ryan said slowly… “Now I want a second story!”
“But did you understand Ah Yi’s story just now? The shark didn’t shower, and he became dirty and smelly, then no one wants to play with him!”
“Yah. Now I want story about Winnie The Pooh!”
” -_-” Goodnight, bye.”

I bet my mom would know what to do. My mother is possibly the most fantastic storyteller I know. Sure, being a teacher and surrounded by kids all her working life helped, but I myself never had a teacher who could tell a tale the way my mom does. She makes up stories on the fly, she improvises on Pixar’s works, she uses different voices for different characters, she fuels your imagination with the most descriptive situations, sights and sounds. Like magic. It is little wonder that all kids love her. Ryan positively adores her, and if he could worship the ground that she walks on, he would.

One of my strongest childhood memories, as is my sisters’ is the Peter and Jane Ladybird series. It is very fundamental English — Peter, Jane, this is Peter, this is Jane, I like Peter, I like Jane, Jane likes Peter, Peter likes Jane and so on. Of course the difficulty and vocabulary increases with each book, and I read them well into high school. If you have kids, I suggest that you get the series for your children. They don’t really come cheap, but I think it’s a great way to introduce words and grammar to your kids. But make sure that you spend enough time to read aloud to them, else they’d just be yet another book with words and pictures.

My sister had purchased the entire Peter and Jane set for Ryan, and she and my mom have started reading it to him. So the other day, Ryan hauled up one of the books and brought it to me. “Can you tell me a story please, Ah Yi?” I took the book from his hands, we both laid down on my bed propped up by a stack of pillows and I began,

“It was a sunny day… Peter was still in bed… Mummy came in to wake Peter up… Wake up Peter, she said, the sun is up. You should be out in the sun. Peter woke up and asked, Is Jane up yet? No, said Mummy, I am going to get her to wake up now. Peter got out of his bed and went downstairs… bla bla bla you see the Mummy opened the window hor? You see the sun or not? What is this? What is Peter doing? What is the colour of his T-shirt? Where is Jane? Is her Mummy going to wake her up? Got sun hor.. they should go out and play hor….”

Me being one of the most impatient people I know, managed till about page 12 or so. By this time, Peter and Jane had already been up and about, gone to play with boats with their friends, rescued a stray toy boat with the help of a man with a real boat, went swimming and jumping into the pool, walked past a row of shops, walked up a hill and met a farmer who gave them an apple each, and reached their friends’ house which was a farm up the hill. Seriously, how many activities can a couple of children manage in a single day without adult supervision?

So I closed the book and proclaimed, “THE END!” Ryan looked at me, puzzled. He quietly took the book from my hand and flipped to where I’d stopped reading. Then he turned the page over…

“AH YI, GOT SOME MORE!!!”
“Where got.. no lah no more already, they went home already.”
“Got, got! Here, here!”
“Errr…”

At that moment, the maid knocked on my door for it was Ryan’s dinner time. Hurrah!

What? I think I’m an awesome auntie already, okay.

once upon a time – part one

Ryan loves stories. He’s a bright kid, yes but even the brightest 3 year old is unable to comprehend words and sentences that form stories, so that means he loves other people reading him stories. I don’t remember when his parents started reading him bedtime stories, but it’s an almost everyday thing now where he would insist a story with his Milo before drifting off to sleep. Sometimes he would try to squeeze two or more stories from you, but I am usually too smart to fall for that, hah!

You see, I love stories as well. I’m sure my mother told us sisters stories when we were younger, but somehow I don’t remember them. Maybe the memories will pop up later, as they often do.

Like I said, I love stories. I just don’t like telling them. To be precise, I don’t like telling stories to kids. It is not easy (for me) to think of tales that are safe and not scary, punctuated with morals, ethics and good values. Sure, I love to tell stories to my friends and have them tell it to me in return, but I doubt Ryan nor his parents would appreciate stories such as, “My friend was driving along the highway, and suddenly he saw a female with long hair and white dress standing by the side of the road…”

Once or twice a week I’d tell Ryan a bedtime story, usually when his parents are busy, sick or just when I find myself with enough patience and goodwill to wield a tale or two. The conversation goes like this:

“Ah yi, can you tell me a story please?”
“Okay. What story do you want?”
“Uhmm…. I want…. a story about… shark!”
“Okay… shark.. hmmm. Once upon a time….”
(Ryan grabs his Milo, jumps into bed, prepares to suckle from the bottle and waits expectantly)

The last two stories I told him had sharks for leading characters, as per his request. The first one was about Johnny The Shark who lives alone in a nice house in the ocean. Johnny The Shark has many friends — fish, octopus, starfish, seahorse… Johnny The Shark also happens to be a vegetarian. That means he doesn’t eat meat or fish; he only eats fruits and vegetables. That is why he has so many fish friends, because he doesn’t eat them for dinner.

One day, Johnny The Shark decides to visit his parents, who live on the other side of the ocean. He packed a basket filled with fruits and vegetables for his parents, and went on his way. Ding dong! he rang the doorbell. His mother opened the door and was glad to see him! They hugged, and Mama Shark called out to Papa Shark who was upstairs. Papa Shark was also very happy to see his son. Johnny The Shark then presented his gift basket filled with fruits and vegetables to his parents. Mama Shark looked at it and said, “Uhmmm.. but son, we are sharks. We eat meat and fish. We do not eat fruits and vegetables.” Johnny The Shark replied, “Yes mom, but I am a vegetarian! That means I do not eat meat or fish! My best friend is a fish and I do not want to eat him. Instead, I eat apples, oranges, broccoli… they are nutritious and good for me too!” Then Papa Shark got very angry and he said, “No son! We are sharks! We eat meat and fish! We do not eat vegetables! Take this basket away!” Johnny The Shark was very sad but he did not want to make his father angrier. So he took the basket away and hid it in a corner in the kitchen.

The next day, Papa Shark was very sick. He could not get out of bed at all. Mama Shark and Johnny The Shark were very worried. So they called a doctor to see what was wrong with Papa Shark. Doctor Shark came to the house, and he inspected Papa Shark for a while. Then he said, “I know what is wrong with you! You have been eating too much meat, and you do not eat fruits and vegetables at all! That is not good!” Papa Shark weakly replied, “But… we are sharks… we eat meat… we do not eat fruits and vegetables…” “That is true,” Doctor Shark replied, “but it is important to have a balanced diet! You cannot just eat meat all the time! You must eat fruits and vegetables as well!”

Then Johnny The Shark remembered his basket filled with fruits and vegetables. He rushed to the kitchen where he had hidden the basket, and took out an apple. He gave it to his father and said, “Please dad, please just try this… it’s an apple and it’s very good for you!” So Papa Shark took the apple and ate it.

The next day, Papa Shark felt a lot better. He was not as sick as before, and he could get out of his bed without feeling ill! He called Johnny The Shark over and he said, “I am sorry son, for scolding you the other day. Now I understand we must always try something new!” And Mama Shark was very happy, and Johnny The Shark was very happy.

Rather lame, I know. Should Ryan remember this story when he grows up, I hope he wouldn’t think too poorly of his auntie who related such a story with weird nutritional and diet information to him. As for now, he is still a kid so his response was, “Papa Shark so naughty, he didn’t want to eat fruits and vegetable! I eat fruits and vegetables, I am healthy, yah?”

So that worked.