of megan meier
I’ve been telling people about this case I am following (via Google news and various blogs) that I think I might as well blog about it. Saves me from having to re-tell it every time I think about it.
Actually I first got to know about it from The Wilful Sunflower’s post. A 13-year old teenager Megan Meier from Missouri (USA) committed suicide last October. She had been diagnosed with ADD and depression, and like all teens before her, clearly had a self-image problem. Read the rest from Wikipedia.org, or the article that broke the story recently here.
For those who can’t be arsed to read, I summarised the popular perception of what happened:
1) Megan Meier and a friend ended their friendship.
2) Friend’s mother created a MySpace account, pretending to be a good-looking 16-year old boy named ‘Josh Evans’ to find out if Megan Meier had been saying anything about her daughter on-line.
3) Josh Evans befriended Megan Meier, gained her trust and confidence. Megan Meier was thrilled by the attention of an older, good looking boy.
4) One day out of the blue, Josh Evans messaged Megan Meier, “I don’t know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I’ve heard that you are not very nice to your friends.”
5) A series of MySpace bulletins and messages including “The world would be a better place without you” led Megan Meier to freak out. Later she attempted suicide by hanging herself with a belt in her closet. She was pronounced dead the next day.
6) Six weeks later, a single mother told the Meiers that ‘Josh Evans’ never existed, and was in fact Megan’s ex-friend’s mother. This ex-friend’s mother also enlisted the help of one of her employees to maintain Josh Evans’ MySpace account. The single mother found out about it because her daughter had been encouraged to join in the ‘joke’. A few other children who knew Megan were also into it.
7) One year later, Steve Pokin wrote an article on the incident, published on the St. Charles Journal.
The Internet community (if there’s one) was angered by what they viewed as a crime committed by the friend’s mother. Big news everywhere, bla bla bla, a blogger (Sarah Wells) followed trails from Steve Pokin’s article, traced down the family’s information, and revealed the name of the ex-friend’s mother. She was identified as ‘Lori Janine Drew’, and the family was friends with the Meiers (prior to the single mother revealing that Drew was involved in the prank, of course).
9) The Drews knew that Megan Meier took medication for depression as she had went on vacations with them before. So it was not as if the Drews did not know what Megan was suffering from. Their lack of remorse was incredulous; according to a police report published by The Smoking Gun:
Drew state she knew “arguments†had broken out between Megan and others on “my space.” Drew felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel “as guilty†because at the funeral she found out “Megan had tried to commit suicide before.”
Another blogger said that outing Lori Drew was the right thing to do, because her behaviour was parallel to that of a typical child predator. The atmosphere is that Lori Drew is right up there as one of the most hated person in America at the moment.
10) After all that heat, city officials where Megan Meier used to live declared this Wednesday that on-line harassment is a crime.
Questions:
a) Is it fair for the Drew family to experience such a massive wrath of Internet mob justice? After their private information was revealed all over the Net, they’d been receiving all sorts of threats, and were victims of a prank call leading to the police rushing to their home thinking that someone was dead.
b) Could it be that Lori Drew had nothing to do with ‘Josh Evans’, but was protecting a loved one (i.e. her young daughter) who was pretending to be Josh Evans? Based on the single mother’s account, it seems unlikely, but you never know.
c) Why can’t MySpace be held accountable, even if so slightly? I once wrote an article about MySpace and crime, and in the course of research, signed up for a MySpace account as a 14-year old girl, the minimum age to be a MySpace member. There was absolutely NO verification process involved, and as 14-year old unverified member, I could EASILY search for other MySpace members to talk to.
Yes, sure that parents need to be responsible for their children’s surfing time as well. The Internet and its various social networking sites are just another means to crime. Somehow I still feel that there are a hell lot more that those sites can do; but in the US, privacy laws seem stricter than ours.
d) Holy fuck what is the world coming to these days?!
she used the internet to her advantage.. whatever her motives were.. and she should be prepared to get a recoil from the same gun she fired from.
My replies:
a) What goes around comes around. Should’ve thought about that before they started the “little prank”.
b) It’s possible. But at the moment it seems unlikely. If this is pursued in court and the daughter was found guilty, she could escape imprisonment because she’s a minor. This won’t be the case if the mother was convicted. Disclaimer: IANAL.
c) I don’t think they at are at fault, even the slightest. They merely created a free service for anyone to register and use. Same with cars; Proton shouldn’t be held accountable if an unlicensed teenager used a Persona to mow down pedestrians.
d) Same hell, different age.
a) They started it by messing around on the Internet, I pity them but I don’t particularly empathize especially after that shit they pulled.
b) Doesn’t matter, either way a parent who butts into an argument/situation between children should know when to draw the line when it comes to their own involvement. Every adult should damn well know, and if they didn’t then DON’T HAVE KIDS, you’re diluting the Human gene pool.
Seriously speaking, that is some major fucktardry from Lorie Drew. I mean, getting employees involved in the ruse? What the fuck for? And furthermore, on a child suffering from psychological problems. *coughlynchthebitchnowpleasecough*
c) MySpace aren’t liable in the least. It’s truly sad, because people are demonizing the service providers for matters that are out of their control.
d) This the supreme deity call line, please press 1 for spectacularly flashy smiting and total destruction of surroundings; or press 2 to go into denial about the situation; or press 3 for living as happily as can be with the world as it is.
I’d press 1, repeatedly. But then that’s cause shiny things distract me. wheee~
Holy fuck what is the world coming to these days?!
Honestly, as f*ck up as yesteryear. Just because the whole thing wrap with a E-word.
p/s: In yesteryear, we have this things call pen pal using snail mail.
although E- has changed most of the ways we do things , however the essense is still about personal touch and feeling
therefore stop flirting over the net and just go out and get laid.
Been also keeping tab with this news, my first thought was on a).
a) Well.. what sane mature mother of a young girl, would setup a fake profile to mess around the mind of another young girl? If she did indeed did it and was not held accountable, she should feel the wrath of other people as so to jolt her into thinking that something is seriously wrong with her.
b)It can be that she’s lying to protect her daughter, but it does seems unlikely by the account and by her account that she also bring her worker into this (are they that free at work to harass people at myspace..??)
c)Even with verification, you can be sure that youngsters would find a way around that.
d) Its the internet age..
my ds belongs to a kids on line market research group where the kids get surveys earn money and get free things. I had to print out and fax a permission slip every time a survey is sent to him I get a notification of the survey and he does them with me there. Lots of security AND there is no interaction or social networking! And Webkinz Parents can turn off access to the area that allows typing messages (this area does not allow numbers or other words that could lead to personal info being given out).
Sooooo what does MySpace do to protect kids? It tends to be after the fact there are people trolling the My Space accounts of under 18s looking for and deleting accounts of children that are not really even 14. ( I know this from a stereotypical psycho stage mom I have the misfortune of knowing whining that the MySpace she keeps setting up for her 10 year old getting deleted several times… not sure how some of these bannaheads think MySpace is going to get lil suzy discovered?!?)
There are people that do not care what danger their children are courting with child predators and cyber stalkers and bullies BUT even the most ignorant of dangers parent has to be opening their eyes although there have been many more cases like this before.
There are websites like boysonyourscreen that trade in stolen photos of little boys found on the internet. Photo storing sites are filled with pedophiles collections and the search ground they use to add to them.
It is terrifying.
This is Megan’s mom, Tina Meier, and I wanted to update everyone on the details for the candlelight vigil for Saturday, November 24, 2007.
*We are meeting at 6:00 p.m. at the Fort Zumwalt West Middle school parking lot.
*Please bring a candle, cup to hold the candle and something to light the candle. (If you cut a small X in the bottom of the cup, you can slide the candle through it and then you won’t have wax dripping on you)
*We will then light the candle’s shortly after 6:00 p.m. and start walking from the school down Waterford crystal drive towards Megan’s house and end up in front of the Drew’s house.
*There is a common ground area across the street and we will have pa system and microphone. if anyone would like to speak, read a poem, etc., they are more than welcome.
*This wonderful idea came from students who wanted to see justice for Megan and for that we are so happy. Nothing we can do will bring Megan back, but we can all learn from Megan and take a part of her with us everyday for the rest of our lives to try to be a better person and think about things we say to people before we say them!
*****Remember this is a peaceful candlelight vigil******
We hope to see everyone there!
It’s cases like this that make to recoil.
I was emotionally and mentally harassed as well, for months, by a local blogger on her blog who around mocking and making derogatory comments about myself online and honestly, I was sheer torture.
Thankfully, I was strong enough to fight off the eventual aftermath and to give my tormentor a taste of her own medicine but I suppose that not everyone can.
Depression is a debilitating disease. More thought (and aid) should be given to the weak and helpless with an emphasis to those who are are not able to defend themselves.
JUSTICE FOR MEGAN MEIER
CLICK HERE TO SIGN
(sorry for massive typos .. that’s what happens when you make going around making comments right after waking up. At 1.32pm? HEY! IT’S A SATURDAY~!)
I didn’t bother reading most of the stuff, but from your summary:
1) That Lori Drew is obviously mad.
2) Online mobs are crazy. Really.
But this leads me to another question: If online harassment is a crime, can I prosecute people who flame me on my blog?
No, seriously. I start by provoking them and then they come and flame me ridiculously. Varying degrees of severity, but nonetheless the same sort of action, no?
An excellent an well-reasoned summary of a very tragic and troubling case. I just wanted to add one thing to the discussion. If this whole mess teaches us anything, it is that everything that goes on the Internet is public. No matter how skillfully one tries to keep it secret (and I suspect the Drews weren’t very skillful), there is someone on the Web that can “out” it.
The virtual mob that is going after Lori Drew should keep that in mind. Last I heard, making death threats via phone and the Internet are recognized crimes that even a small-town Missouri sherriff would inderstand. In any event, killing the Drews or hounding them to death will not bring Megan Meier back. Better to find a way to prosecute the prepetrators, or to use legal but very effective techniques to make one’s disgust known, such as the threatened boycott of businesses that use Ms. Drew’s advertising company.
As much as I abhor violence and some of the lame language running around the Internet, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy that Mr. Drew is getting roasted by the same technology she used to roast Megan Meier.
lots of issues here.
the drews were partly responsible for megan’s death, but not entirely. although they knew she was on anti-depressants, they could not have anticipated her response to the “joke”. however, their lack of remorse disturbs me greatly.
as for whether myspace should share some of the blame, it’d be very difficult in a legal sense to implicate them for the suicide. but they should acknowledge that they, whether they like it or not, play a role in things like online harassment, child paedophilia and goodness knows what else people use myspace accounts for and that it’s time to do something. i’m not well-versed at all about internet laws and whatnot so i can’t comment further, but myspace has been saying “hey we’re just a networking site, we can’t control what people do with our services” for far too long. it’s time to take some responsibility.
the world is already in the pit of moral decline and it’s difficult to see it going anywhere else but further down into the mire.
The first thing I thought of when I read this was that a mother should very well know better than that, and it’s a horribly immature thing to do in the first place. I have a tough time imagining an educated mother from a good neighborhood doing something like that. Jeez.
neeshen: the eye for an eye argument
azmeen: i don’t pay RM30k to myspace in order to use their services. when money comes in, it becomes a different argument already.
iesnek: I understand the part where MySpace is not liable. BUT I still think there’s much more they can do, considering its popularity with (underaged) teens.
moo_t: doesn’t the net *seem* to make it slightly easier?
aeroplane: who am i flirting with :X
dils: that was my first thought as well. “WTF YOU ARE A MOTHER z0mG !”
The Bitch: There was this boy who went on Oprah… said he was persuaded to take off everything on web cam for money. Beyond the shock value, I’m surprised more parents are not more aware of such dangers and temptations. “oh don’t worry it will never happen to MY kid” seems to be a trump card?
nyx: Well, I know who you are referring to. She is my friend. While I understand everyone has their own sides of the story, I am sure you will understand if I am not taking sides, and do not seem more sympathetic to either one of you yah
On Saturday I woke up at 10 a.m. I rock.
vincent: Lol. That’s another whole can of worms! Nyx lodged a police report against this one young dude who emailed her what. So that works somewhat? The older generation of net users that i know would just dismiss this (i.e. trolling? harassment?) with amusement, but that was because not everyone could afford to get online those days. well. long discussion.
bill: I wonder how the boycott is doing, since I am on the other side of the world and have absolutely no idea what’s really going on. but even if we look at back at the origins, it is befuddling that a MOTHER would do such a childish prank on someone else’s child. MOTHERS are supposed to rise above their children’s petty squabbles. MOTHERS are supposed to tell their kids, this too will pass, despite what you may feel now, high school is not forever. Of course killing the Drews will achieve nothing whatsoever. i am with you on the way the drews are being vilified, so far as to risk my karma for it. buddhist, you see.
lishun: that’s the point. i think at one time myspace went on to say that they are doing stuff to prevent underaged kids from being on their site, but parents ought to be responsible also. while that is true, the fact is that i still can sign up for a fake 14 year old myspace account, whereby i absolutely cannot apply for a credit card until i am at least 18/21. you get what i mean
or log every IP of underaged accounts. would be shite lots of work and db, but about time they assume a larger role in responsibility.
Mellissa: astounding, yeah? that’s why people are upset and angry, even more so when lori drew did not seem to be more sorry for what she had helped caused.
Hehe..I reckon I do belong to the ‘older generation’ of net people. I dismiss it as trolling and good fun. After all, it is a two-way thing.
But if they are going to make it a law, maybe I could earn a quick buck in an out-of-court settlement with the people who call me names on my own blog. Hehe, a whole new can of worms indeed.
Suanie, it’s hard to say how the boycott is going, since I am myself half a continent away from the action, and the Saint Louis papers have been rather silent about this matter lately. From what I’ve seen on some of the vigiliante sites, some of the businesses have publicly announced their intention to pull their advertising from Lori Dew’s coupon books/junk mail flyers/whatever it is she produces. I imagine a lot of it would have happened anyway, but by “outing” Drew’s customers, it will probably enhance the effect and send her business right down the toilet.
There are a subspecies of humanity who believe that everything they do is right (or at least permissable — for them). Judging from Drew’s statements in the police report (and the fact that she’s brought charges against Megan’s dad for trashing the foosball table), she is among them. I have a colleague at work who is of this subspecies and she is a VERY disagreeable person. I suppose Drew somehow felt personally offended by Megan Meier’s fight with her daughter, and naturally thought it would be OK to retaliate in such a mean-spirited, manipulative and deceitful way.
Suan, a well thought out and excellent post. Yeah, I got wind of this a couple days back when you mis-sent me that MSN message and it’s been a real case study on how the Internet affects society.
1. I feel sorry for the Drews because they probably would never have thought out this outcome.
2. I think they got what they deserved and there’s no punishment that would bring Megan back. Sometimes we need to put thought into our actions before acting.
‘10) After all that heat, city officials where Megan Meier used to live declared this Wednesday that on-line harassment is a crime. ‘
Harassment has always been a crime, whether it was done on-line or not. People seem to forget that. The main problem with on-line harassment has been lack of evidence to substantiate the harassed claims. [Especially after the fact]. I don’t think a ‘new law’ specific to on-line harassment is going to make much difference as there will still be the problem of evidence.
‘a) Is it fair for the Drew family to experience such a massive wrath of Internet mob justice? ‘
It is a trial by media, isn’t it. Often when people can’t get what they want via the law they turn to Current Affair Shows and other things in order to sway popular opinion. But, mobs have a habit of … well, being a mob. If the mob ends up harassing the Drews into suiciding will they turn on themselves?
‘b) Could it be that Lori Drew had nothing to do with ‘Josh Evans’, but was protecting a loved one (i.e. her young daughter) ‘
You’ve answered this yourself. Others have testimony against the mother. In fact, from following the case there are enough witnesses that it would hold up in court, including the mothers own statement to police which shows she had good knowledge of the incident.
‘c) Why can’t MySpace be held accountable, even if so slightly?’
In what way? Should the Postal service be to blame for you receiving a harassing letters from someone? After all, MySpace does allow you to block people. It is highly likely that the block feature would be MySpaces ‘Out’ over any legal possibility of people suing them. I know a friend who was harassed on MySpace for years by an Ex-BF of hers. The problem she had was she made three new accounts and he kept tracking her down and using aliases to get added as a friend, but she was too stupid to do anything about it. I often suggested she talk to MySpace about it and even the Police. It was only after I put her in contact with an international site on Internet Crimes [via the Aussie Police one] and she threatened him with legal action that he finally stopped. [Yes, she is in the US. Like I said, Harassment, even on-line, is illegal, which is why I doubt the new law will do anything].
d) Holy f*ck what is the world coming to these days?! ‘
The more it changes the more it stays the same. Can anyone say ‘Witch Hunt’ with me?
Not to mention harassment leading to death or grevious bodily harm - all as ancient as … well Noah and his parents and their parents etc.
Hi Suan,
I know she’s a friend of your and also a friend of my housemate. Of course, I don’t expect you to take sides and of course, I AM trying to look at her as a human being with her own set of faults versus the monster she had protrayed herself to be from my perspective.
Don’t mean to lash out at her, just that your post struck a cord in me and reminded me of a time when she initially was going around lashing out at me .. remembered the immense hurt and depression that she caused me purely for fun and games.
Those kind of wounds run deep and more then anything, I know the kind of hell this kid went through.. so had to open my big mouth and comment ler …
.. oh.. and on the police reports, I always take a threat against my wellbeing seriously. Random anonymous dumbfuck threatened me, I reported to the police. Your friend threatened me, I reported to the police.
With the kind of things you read that’s going around these days, I never take things for granted. Scoff if you must. Tee hee!
Read a brief article and view the accompanying video to the candlelight vigil in held Megan’s memory. Go to sccworlds.com
vincent: old skool: that is what i would have taken you to be
Bill: ah well. from another pov, if the community where she’s living in now is so unforgiving, i think she may have to seriously considering moving elsewhere. this may or may not follow her family for life; even her daughter’s name was leaked. i wonder what kind of future they would have. in that sense, i do feel a tad sorry for them, for their lack of judgment that would erupt into something as massive as this. is the mob going to follow her wherever she and her family go? put it this way: if this happened in my community and the Drews were in my neighbourhood, i would be damned hard pressed to offer them a kind word — it would take a lot for me not to vilify them in any way i see fit; but when does second chance for them begins?
davidlian: i seem to do that a lot :X mis-send msn messages :X p/s timothy tiah sucks
dabs: 1) no, but like you said, people forget or do not realise. (2) well someone revealed sarah wells’ personal information on the net… (3) when you put it that way, true that. (4) there was an article about trial by media recently; about meier, mccann, and kercher’s case. will have to dig it up
nyx: well. of course one must never take their personal safety for granted. but sometimes, it truly does take two to tango. heh. argh blah bleh don’t know what else to say lah
I think there are two issues at hand here — retribution and repentance. Human beings from the time of Hammurabi and probably before have really been into retribution — an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You could say the whole criminal justice system, despite its lip=service (in the US anyway) about being for “rehabilitation”, is really all about making someone pay for something bad they had done.
The first problem with the Drews is that there was no retribution by the legal system, in fact, they are using the legal system to get retribution from the Meiers for destruction of their foosball table. This is not setting well with the Internet community, not to mention the Drews’ neighbors, who are attempting to get some retribution on their own.
In general this kind of vigilantism is not a good thing. That’s why we have a legal system — to prevent the law of the mob. Unfortunately, the law failed here, and will probably fail again in similar circumstances, no matter how many laws are passed to stop it. You can’t censor the Internet without getting everyone off of it, and that isn’t going to happen.
The second problem with the Drews is a perceived lack of repentance. Repentance is more than feeling bad about doing something wrong. It is demonstrating a sincere belief that one has done something wrong, and a sincere effort to fix the damage caused by that wrong act (in so far as it can be fixed) People like evildoers to repent as much as they like retribution. Preferably, the evildoer should fall on his/her face, bitterly self-criticize her/his actions, and provide a meaningful plan for repairing the damage. If he/she can do it on the Oprah Winfrey Show, so much the better.
All the statements of the Drews thus far published suggest (mainly consisting of police reports)they not only don’t feel repentance, they don’t even feel much remorse. So the public sees someone who not only hasn’t acknowledged she has committed a wrong act that had horrible (albeit unintended) results, but has even attempted to punish those people who have been severaly damaged by her actions. This, if anything, sets even less well with the Internet community, not to mention the Drews’ neighbors.
If the Drews really want some peace in their life, they’re going to have to find a way to publicly atone for their behavior, preferably on the Oprah or Larry King shows. I can’t imagine what they could do in the way of atonement to satisfy the Meier family, but they could conceivably get the rest of the world off their case.
Bill: I think your excellent analysis of what is and what could happen just about sums it up
The media is trying to spin us into a “cyber mob”
CLICK THIS FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO US:
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2007/11/media-alert-fighter-to-be-interviewed.html
Justice for Megan! We won’t give up
Though the Megan Meier case if sad, I do not understand why she was not monitor with her internet usage? We have a rating system for movies like R, which is to restrict anyone 17 or younger from going to see the movie unless accompanied by an adult. Maybe the internet should be used for anyone 18+ only. Too many parents do not or can not realistically monitor their children’s internet usage. The internet has been used for people to express their anger anonymously or to express opinions that are controversy in nature. And illegal or questionable activities. With that being said is it a good idea to have anyone 17 and under to be on the internet? As parents at the very least should have their computer set up with a profile that will only allow there to be limited programs, like an internet browser, available to a child 17 and under. Schools should also limit their teachings on the internet and computers until the child is at least 16. Children have also used the internet to hack and send viruses.
Well, suanie .. it does take two to tango … but people who live in glass houses shouldn’t be the first to throw stones. Especially when the stone-throwing was totally unprovoked. I don’t expect you to take sides but I hope you do understand that ugly though it was, I was under the impression that her bullying needs to be stopped by the only language she would understand.
I was just checking to see if there were any new (legal) developments in this case, and came across this blog. I found out something so hideous that I actually cried all over again. I did not know that there were also kids Megans age (that knew her) that were asked to be part of this stalking.
I almost threw up.
They are guilty as hell. Not only should Mrs. Drew beg for forgiveness, but every single other person that knew of this harrassment and did nothing to help the victim. Including children. No matter what their age. No excuses. Everyone has been a teen and knows how fragile a time it is. All of those people should be considered a serious danger to society due to their completely sociopathic, ruthless, malicious behavior. Mrs Drew should have her child taken away from her. She is obviously unstable. If Mr Drew was involved he should lose custody also and both of them need therapy. Her daughter should be tried as an adult as well as every single other child that was asked to participate. They do not deserve to live at all. The least they should get is jail time. Thank God one person had the guts to tell the Meiers what happened.
My heart goes out to the Meier family. Nothing anyone says and no amount of anger or outrage will bring her back.
The world would be a much better place with Megan here instead of her tormentors
Oops, I meant to say MURDERERS.