feel like emoing an hour before dawn breaks

I found out that it is easier for me to be not happy, rather than happy.

Not happy, I can manage and manage it well.

With being happy, there’s the expectations of things to come.

Then kalau tak jadi, hati runtuh macam Batu Caves, pastu buat wayang lah.. nangis sini sana lah… buat kecoh dari Jepun ke India…

Dulu masa sekolah kita buat lawatan sambil belajar. Kita gi pusat orang giler kat JB. Ntah aper nama dia kot. Malas aku nak PC PC — sebab aku emo, that’s why aku boleh panggil dia orang giler. Giler, giler lah.. bukannya aku yang kasi stigma pada dia orang.

Yang aku nak luahkan ialah, kalau dasar expectations tu tak dapat dikecapi, aku bukan main boleh buat hal macam orang giler yang aku nampak kat pusat orang giler tu. Tulah yang aku tak nak. Aku nak in control ngan perasaan aku, minda aku, tingkah-laku aku. Kalau dah macam orang giler, maner boleh control, kan?

Ntahlah… buat kepala aku pusing je… bukan main meluat bila aku pikirkan masa budak Belanda tu buat aku runsing. Malas aku nak cerita, yang aku confirm ialah aku tak nak situasi tu berulang. Perit hati tau!

Dah, habis emo dah… actually belum lagi tapi aku karang dah penat, nak masuk tido balik.

comments

Comments

  1. i have to agree. it’s easier being not happy than happy. you see things in more ways than if you’re happy. coz when you’re happy, thre’s nothing to complain about… nothing to bitch about… you don’t care about stuff becoz they don’t affect you, you let them be. b-o-r-i-n-g…

    it’s like being a pessimist… there’s a quote…:

    “borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect it back.”

  2. Lower your expectations. You’ll be happier. And btw, lowering expectations and pessimism is not the same :)

  3. Jamil Bond says:

    Sapo budak Belanda tu? Teman baru ko jumpa kat Hospital Bahagia ker? Bila nak intro?

    wahai adik suanie,
    Kekadang biarlah emosi ko tu berleluasa. Emosi terpendam bagaikan transformers lawan gundam. Akibatnya kritikal. Jadi, sekali sekala biarlah emosi menguasai jiwa. Pergilah gigit si FA ker, calarkan kreta si paul ker ataupun gi sumbat KY ngan roti canai, terserlah lah. Janji lepas tension.

    Aku yg mengikut perintah,
    Jamil B

  4. i only understood the first 3 lines … aiyo, why so emo one? pms? :p i will make u happy when u come sg, k? :D *hugssss*

  5. Easier isn’t always the best road. After all, it’s easier not to get out of bed, but in the long run you’ll start to feel hungry and stuff … so, we do the harder thing and go to work to earn money and make some other person or people a lot richer for our effort.

  6. S: said from one pessimist to another, ‘don’t borrow money from me, i don’t have any now, and it is not likely that i will have money anytime in the future”

    cheng: actually i think i am neither, but more like, grounded in reality

    jamil: budak belanda tu citer lama. dah lama takder contact dah. yg aku bengang ialah aku biarkan emosi berleluasa ngan budak belanda, pastu yg sakit saya juga. tak berbaloi macam tu

    pinky: heehhe but u know everything else!

    dabs: but it’s still easier for now

  7. foxtrotecho says:

    Suanie, you can be Emo Ranger Pink then.

    Go go Emo Rangers !

    Btw, starbucks later ?

  8. saya sangat suka membaca tulisan saudari dalam bahasa melayu (or is it bahasa malaysia now? LOL) kerana ia mempunyai kuasa emosi yang mentah (err, raw power of emotion) =D

    chin up sistah =)

  9. WAH MELAYU PULAK MASUK!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. lu gerek la beb.

    :p

  11. fox: heh ok

    nurulazreen: hehe glad i could entertain :D :D thanks :)

    fa: ftw!

    9: oO

  12. Budak belanda? :D
    Anyway, sangat fasih bahasa melayu mu :) Aku impress sekali. Anyway babe, drama serahkan padaku, hidupku tidak ceria tanpa drama. Hahaha!

    Eh, we gotta catch up la leng lui.

  13. meh sulakan budak belanda tu!

  14. faiez: bukan budak belanda you ;) saper encik hijau, btw? :P

    ahseng: i just found out the meaning of ‘sula’ …….. LMAO ouchhhhhhies

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