I was talking with Serena on some things lost, and had the brilliant idea of listing songs for my funeral. I am pretty sure I’ve done it already, but everyone needs an update once a while, especially if s/he is still alive and there is time to change. For example, if I had listed any of Spice Girls’ songs for my funeral, I don’t want to die anytime soon before I can rewrite the list.
For the few of you reading this blog, I wouldn’t be alive to enjoy my funeral anyway, so you don’t really have to bother. But if you insist, well here’s how I want it to go (since it’s my funeral and I ought to have a say in it, don’t I?)
Assuming that my body was found after I’m dead (you never know when crime hits), I want to be cremated ASAP. That’s right; burn baby burn as soon as my organs have been removed to hopefully help other not-so-dead people. No lying in a coffin for 3 days, no coffin either. Just bundle my corpse with a mat and dump me into the fire; keep the ashes if you want to, but I’d rather you not do that. You can however play some Buddhist chants during my cremation. Not sure how it would help but maybe just for whatever faith left (I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to come back and tell you if it worked).
Also, my most prized possession is my laptop. Hence I want it totally and utterly destroyed along with my corpse. Nobody touches my laptop, EVAR.
Then there is the party, to be held at the last residence I stayed in. Bring your own food and booze. Make sure there’s a lot of KFC original fried chicken and Hoegaarden. No blue cheese allowed.
As for decoration, I don’t really care, as long as there are blown-up photos of me when I looked my best. That would be when I was 15 years old, ask my mother for the photos.
By the way, should I reach glorious heights at my death, Mawisux is definitely not invited to the party. Dream on, bitch.
Make as many speeches and eulogies you want, but make sure you punctuate them with “SUANIE WAS GREAT, KTHXBAI!!!!!”
Now for the most important part — the song list. No bubblegum pop, no Celine Dion, no Beyonce, definitely no rap. To save your time on song selection, here’s what I demand at my after-death party:
01. Enchantment by Yanni
02. Playtime by Yanni
03. When You Were Young by The Killers
04. How To Save A Life by The Fray
05. The Freshman by Verve Pipe
06. Never Forget by Take That
07. Thunder by East 17
08. My Friends by Red Hot Chili Peppers
09. Snow by Red Hot Chili Peppers
10. Run by Snow Patrol
11. The World I Know by Collective Soul
12. Heartbeats by Jose Gonzales
13. Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
14. Run To The Water by Live
15. Come To My Window by Melissa Etheridge
16. Havana Moonlight by Spyro Gyra
17. All The Things That I’ve Done by The Killers
18. A Design For Life by Manic Street Preachers
19. In The Closet by Michael Jackson
20. Starlight by Muse
21. Champagne Supernova by Oasis
22. Imitation of Life by REM
23. Come As You Are by Nirvana
24. It’s Alright by Supergrass
25. Peanut Butter Jelly Time by Buckwheat Boyz.
… and the entire Tiesto’s In Search of Sunrise 3 album.
Man, you are all going to have a jolly great time! Can’t wait