1. Dye my hair
Look, it’s not like I asked for white hair, okay. I wonder if The Maker mused to himself before dropping my tattered soul into the reincarnation pot, “Oh, here’s someone who is going to be Suanie, I bet she will be pleased with having loads of white hair while still in high school, hmm let me just tick this box…”

2. Brace myself…
… for the barrage of “do you have a boyfriend”, “when is your turn” queries. I know it’s the third ice-breaker after ‘how are you’ and ‘what are you doing now’, but it’s just fun to bitch about it. Never mind that I would be asking my friends the same :D

3. Get laundry done
I just realised yesterday night that I have a load of dirty clothes that needs to be clean by the time I am back in BP.

4. Locate the brightest, most colourful clothes in my closet
Big hurdle, this. I am a black fan. More black after black after black? Yes please, load ‘em up. I look ridiculous in many shades because I am so fucking fat. EEEEEEEeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhHHH!!!!!!!!!

5. Change my bedsheet
I was doing something for boss in Amcorp Mall the other day, and had time to kill, and saw a huge ‘SALE’ sign, and walked in, and came out with 2 brand new bedsheets. Now all that’s left for me to do is to actually change my bedsheet…

BTW don’t wish me a Happy CNY yet… wait for the next post lah ;)

Every morning I wake up to my Sony Ericsson K750i’s alarm. Sure, Sony Ericsson may be a Japan+Sweden venture, but their head office is in London, and we all know that the UK and the US are BFF. Hence Sony Ericsson is American.

Then I get ready for work, the process usually involves going through the motions (literally), then checking my meager wardrobe for an outfit that could nearly pass me off as a professional. If we go by Miranda Priestly’s logic that every design available in the cheapest of all marts is inspired by the fashion heavyweights and glossy magazines, then it stands to reason that my entire closet is American.

I drive to work and around in my zippy Perodua Kelisa. Yes, the Perodua Kelisa is a Malaysian car and, boy aret the proud of it! Nevertheless the concept of the compact car materialised in the form of the Ford Model T. Henry Ford was American and so is my Perodua Kelisa.

Sometimes I have the radio on when I am driving. The majority of Malaysian radio DJs speak with pseudo-American accents. Malaysian airwaves is ruled by the Americans (wannabes).

The first thing I do in the office is to switch the computer on. and I have to thank IBM for creating personal computers. Obviously my office desktop is American.

The computer boots up SuSE, which is owned by Novell, which is American.

Then I am on-line. If certain leaders of this country, past and present are to be believed, the Internet is owned by America.

I get hungry about five minutes before the official lunch time. Maslow said that the need for food is one of the basic requirements to be fulfilled for survival. Maslow was American and so is my hunger.

Thanks to the American Thomas Edison, I say ‘hello’ when I answer the telephone.

I am certain the Americans invented traffic jams… No? Ah well, ignorance is largely perceived to be an American problem anyway :D

When I reach home from work, one of the first things I do is to watch recorded Oprah Winfrey shows. She is an American woman who talks a lot about American-ish stuff, she has famous American personalities on her show all the time, she helps catch American pedophiles, she is concerned about American schools and surprise of all surprises, the Oprah Winfrey Show is based in Chicago, America.

I also watch CSI Las Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York, TAR, The Apprentice, Seinfeld, Heroes, Third Watch, Ugly Betty etc. The one thing they have in common is that they are American TV programmes.

I indulge in Starbucks, McDonalds, KFC, A&W, Kenny Rogers, Burger King and Chilis. Ahh, not forgetting Reese’s awesome peanut butter cups! American, American and more American!

I have a thing for John Cusack. He’s American, and he does not know it yet (that I have a thing for him and not the latter).

Most of my dealings with my local Uncle Ho involves American-made movies.

I like to make fun of George Bush. He’s American (though I suppose he would be exiled if it were up to some other Americans. Or not, because of the First Amendment thing that is foreign to me).

I dream of naked Americans.

In a nutshell, my daily life is heavily influenced by America and Americans.

How to boycott like that?

Wahey, it’s the return of the ‘Car Boot to Fit a Suan‘ series! Rejoice?

I don’t quite know why I do these things. A couple of people who don’t really read blogs asked me, “did I really see a photo of you inside a car boot?”

Yes, me. Blush. Put on thick skin, shrug shoulders and exclaim, “IT’S FUN!!!!!!!!!”

So it is. We always have lots of laugh when taking the pix. Here goes…

Da BMW 7-series, the 730Li!!!!!!!!!

Blah, the position is so FA :P But then, how many poses can you strike in a bloody car boot?!?

But yes, the car boot can fit a Suan. Heck, the entire car can fit 8 Suans!

But can the 7-series boot fit a Suan AND a Fireangel?

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Friggin’ amazing!!!

Next is the Toyota Hilux.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!