suanie americanised (p.s. pls ignore the british spelling)

Posted at February 11, 2007

Every morning I wake up to my Sony Ericsson K750i’s alarm. Sure, Sony Ericsson may be a Japan+Sweden venture, but their head office is in London, and we all know that the UK and the US are BFF. Hence Sony Ericsson is American.

Then I get ready for work, the process usually involves going through the motions (literally), then checking my meager wardrobe for an outfit that could nearly pass me off as a professional. If we go by Miranda Priestly’s logic that every design available in the cheapest of all marts is inspired by the fashion heavyweights and glossy magazines, then it stands to reason that my entire closet is American.

I drive to work and around in my zippy Perodua Kelisa. Yes, the Perodua Kelisa is a Malaysian car and, boy aret the proud of it! Nevertheless the concept of the compact car materialised in the form of the Ford Model T. Henry Ford was American and so is my Perodua Kelisa.

Sometimes I have the radio on when I am driving. The majority of Malaysian radio DJs speak with pseudo-American accents. Malaysian airwaves is ruled by the Americans (wannabes).

The first thing I do in the office is to switch the computer on. and I have to thank IBM for creating personal computers. Obviously my office desktop is American.

The computer boots up SuSE, which is owned by Novell, which is American.

Then I am on-line. If certain leaders of this country, past and present are to be believed, the Internet is owned by America.

I get hungry about five minutes before the official lunch time. Maslow said that the need for food is one of the basic requirements to be fulfilled for survival. Maslow was American and so is my hunger.

Thanks to the American Thomas Edison, I say ‘hello’ when I answer the telephone.

I am certain the Americans invented traffic jams… No? Ah well, ignorance is largely perceived to be an American problem anyway :D

When I reach home from work, one of the first things I do is to watch recorded Oprah Winfrey shows. She is an American woman who talks a lot about American-ish stuff, she has famous American personalities on her show all the time, she helps catch American pedophiles, she is concerned about American schools and surprise of all surprises, the Oprah Winfrey Show is based in Chicago, America.

I also watch CSI Las Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York, TAR, The Apprentice, Seinfeld, Heroes, Third Watch, Ugly Betty etc. The one thing they have in common is that they are American TV programmes.

I indulge in Starbucks, McDonalds, KFC, A&W, Kenny Rogers, Burger King and Chilis. Ahh, not forgetting Reese’s awesome peanut butter cups! American, American and more American!

I have a thing for John Cusack. He’s American, and he does not know it yet (that I have a thing for him and not the latter).

Most of my dealings with my local Uncle Ho involves American-made movies.

I like to make fun of George Bush. He’s American (though I suppose he would be exiled if it were up to some other Americans. Or not, because of the First Amendment thing that is foreign to me).

I dream of naked Americans.

In a nutshell, my daily life is heavily influenced by America and Americans.

How to boycott like that?

Assorted Blah
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