As Suanie Sees It

For the females: did you know that if you go to XIXILI in 1U and let the sales assistant measure you properly, you jump at least 2 cup sizes??

I got the tip from Erna and a colleague, and so I just had to go check things out lah.

Apparently I’ve been wearing the wrong size since forever. I know it’s a matter of getting you into the right size and everything, but there’s just something about possessing bigger mammaries that tickles me. I mean, the idea!

Yeah, can’t elaborate much now, too giddy for words

Anyway we were at Sharizal’s house of love when something caught my eye…

Turned out to be…

Insects need lovin’ too! Yay!

If you are bored, go play this classic.

Actually I had wanted to write this for a couple of years already.

But somehow it was forgotten, until I read Marina Mahathir’s blog (omg she has one too!) about the Mufti of Perlis, Dr Asri Zainol Abidin. Something about condemning the oversensitive JAWI dudes who snoop around waiting to tangkap basah overeager lovers. That’s great, I read an interview NST conducted with the man a couple weeks back, he seemed like someone who actually thinks before he speaks, and we all know what a lost trait that is in this country.

But that’s not the point of this post. Marina Mahathir wrote:

Of course, his brother Muftis ( and of course, they are all brothers, no sisters) are calling a meeting to discuss what he’s said about khalwat. Already the condescending tone has set in — “he’s still young”, “it’s just his personal opinion” …

Then you can imagine people getting all pissy and going, omg wtf you mean he is still young and his opinions don’t matter and he’s like the bestest mufti we’ve had in the longest time omg wtf you old fashioned folks bla ble blu bli blo.

So it is with great satisfaction that I say the following to the general public: Fuck.You.

Ever had a discussion with someone that you thought was going so great because you presented valid argumentative points from your perspective about an issue you feel strongly about, then to be brutally crushed down with a “you don’t know what you are talking about lah, you are still young, you will know/ understand/ change your mind/ think differently when you are older.”

Youngsters like me who didn’t seek to be right all the time, merely discussing what we thought about certain things, from what little we know from our limited experiences, then given a unsatisfyingly answer like that, just because we are youngER. That’s age discrimination, and it’s a demoralising thing when you are at the receiving end.

Of course when you are youngER, you tend to be more idealistic than others. Thinking that you can make a difference, thinking that you can take on the world, change the way people think, eventually change the way things are. Okay, maybe that is TOO idealistic, but I’m telling you, everyone goes through this phase. Perhaps the elders went through the ‘I’ve eaten more salt than you have eaten rice so stfu’ berating from THEIR elders, and are now passing this on. But is it really something you want to pass on to the younger generation? ‘STFU you will learn when you are older so whatever I am saying is right and you are wrong and this discussion is nonsense so take it elsewhere.’

Dudes, I was giving YOU the honour to discuss things with ME. I was under the impression that you lot were knowledgable and mature enough to talk to, perhaps even guide a young ciku in the big bad world. To give you the benefit of the doubt, I’d say you were lazy to elaborate. Maybe because you have been through the same scenario with many kids, and got tired of repeating yourself. That I can accept. But wouldn’t it be better and more fruitful to say something like, “I do not quite agree with you, because based on my experiences, if you continue to feel the same about some stuff, well I only wish for you not to go through what I did, that is learning things the hard way.”

Instead we have the ‘you will know when you are older lah’ and that irritating all-knowing smile, as if it was an inside joke.

Surely we all grow up. We learn things differently. Kids are not always right, but adults are often no better. But it seems that manusia mudah lupa, and the preferred action is to put down the kids instead of guiding them to the right path, whatever the right path is.

THAT I cannot tahan. So before anyone of you get upset by the other muftis’ statement, go look into the mirror first. You lot probably encouraged this thinking, and I am just thankful that I know better now. No thanks to you.

This incoherent rant was brought to you by 5 hours of sleep then waking up at 3 am.

I already have a plan for the coming Christmas weekend.

The schedule goes something along the lines of sleep, eat, watch DVD, sleep, eat, watch Oprah, sleep, eat, watch CSI, sleep, eat, repeat infinitely.

Perfect lineup of exciting, fun and fulfilling activities to look forward to

Over breakfast with colleagues, we were talking about how some people are already enjoying their holidays.

Collegue: Bestnyer….
Me: Yeah but they don’t have holidays like we do… we have so many public holidays that it’s ridiculous.
Colleague: Dapat holiday, dapat gaji juga, you still complaining?!?

He has a non-refutable point.

I posted my Christmas wish list a few days ago, and it is my warm, generous heart that gained me so much good karma points that I already received one of the items in the wish list.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are reading the blog of a proud owner of wish list item #3!!!

Thank YOU O kind-hearted soul!

I also got myself wish list item #4, The Devil Wears Prada. It reminded me how sucky Anne Hathaway was in the movie. I am still wondering why I was fixtated on the movie. Oh yeah, Meryl Streep. She made up for everyone else’s bad acting (with the exception of Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci) and more.

Then a couple of days ago I received a Christmas card from Dr. Vagus! Thanks!!

It has a sticker with his name and address decorated with a cute cartoon, like something you would get all excited about when you were 12. I decided not to embarrass him by taking a photo of it and posting it here

Swifty presented me a DVD gift of 2 of his short films — ‘Vertical Distance’ (6.30 mins) and ‘Girl Disconnected’ (13.20 mins). I’ve watched the first one, and was pleasantly surprised by the dude’s talent and really, the boy’s got some! I have yet to see the second one, and it’s my understanding that it was nominated for two awards at the NASS Festival in Perth for ‘Best Script’ and ‘Best Visual Effects’.

Today’s youngsters got so much talent, I shy.

Too bad they are not on YouTube, but maybe if you ask nicely…

A couple of weeks ago my sister bought a faux Christmas tree and decorated it with lights. I asked her, “since you bought us a Christmas tree, are you going to cook for us a Christmas dinner as well?”

Yesterday she told me that yes, she will cook for me a Christmas dinner.

And ALL THESE for someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas!!! How wonderful can life get? :D

If you do not have plans on Christmas eve, JOIN US for the FUNNEST party you will EVAR attend! We lot are not Christians, but in the spirit of this wonderful holiday, we aim to get pissed drunk and do stupid silly stuff wearing the worst clothing in our closet.

Check out KY’s blog for more details (and no, you don’t need my approval to come, JUST DO IT OMG), and see ya there!

Sometime back Ms. Shermaine of Da Huang Pictures e-mailed and invited me to the preview screening of Love Conquers All, the debut feature film of Tan Chui Mui, who at 28 years old is the youngest female director in Malaysia.

Unfortunately the preview screening was on a working afternoon, and I regretfully declined. The whole world was disappointed by my no-show (haha) but Ms. Shermaine told me that there would be another preview screening the following week at night. Of course I said I’d go. By the way to the production houses who want to pre-screen your movies AND invite meh, why not hold the preview screenings at night? I can’t even begin to describe the awesomeness of after-office hours.

I brought Swifty, and he being jobless at the moment already reviewed the movie here.

So… Love Conquers All… Here’s my understanding of the storyline:

Sometime in the 80s, AH PING (Coral Ong Li Whei) leaves Penang for Kuala Lumpur to help her aunt HONG JIE (Ho Chi Lai) at the latter’s stall selling economy rice. She is lonely in the city, she stares into emptiness a lot, she has a great friendship with Hong Jie’s daughter, her little cousin MEI (Leong Jiun Jiun). She also calls home to her mother and her boyfriend at a public telephone (yes, difficult concept to grasp but remember, this is set in the 80s). That is where she meets JOHN (Stephen Chua Jyh Shyan), who unrelentingly stalks and tries to befriend Ah Ping, and eventually succeeded through a great show of blind persistence.

Once during the course of the courtship, John described to Ah Ping his cousin’s bad-ass tactics to lure women into prostitution. During this part, John said in Mandarin, ‘ai ke yi gai bian yi ge ren‘. The English subtitle for this line was ‘love conquers all’. I guess the accurate translation of this line, ‘love can change a person’ does not sound as good and catchy as ‘love conquers all’. But observing the true meaning of this line that is the title of the movie helped me understand a lot (later on).

You would have thought that with John’s prophecy that pretty chicks are easier to be duped into prostitution, PLUS his descriptive series of actions that a pimp would take to ‘influence’ the pretty chicks to selling their bodies, WOULD flash serious warning signs to Ah Ping, right? I consoled myself that this was the 80s where the lack of information led to some women being stupid noble trying to save the ones you love. So yes, love does conquers all, it just doesn’t lead to the Cinderella story that we all so hope for.

Or maybe Ah Ping more than knew what was coming, but was resigned to it anyway. Can you blame her life choices? I don’t know, it’s up to you to decipher and decide, but I was pretty upset by it lah.

Since the development of Ah Ping and John’s story would not be enough to fill out 90 minutes, there is a mini story involving little lonely Mei and Hong Jie. Well it could have been only Mei’s story but I found the relationship between Hong Jie and Mei rather touching. There was a scene where Hong Jie watches her daughter do her homework, and the moment was quite powerful to me. It told me of Hong Jie’s hidden feelings — helplessness, frustrations, overwhelming love for Mei, all rolled into one, and it was only Hong Jie looking at Mei for a long time! Well, that left a strong impression.

That said, I felt that Hong Jie and Mei’s story and performances could easily upstage Ah Ping’s self-discovery and journey, and Ah Ping and John.

What I liked:

• The simplicity of the story that does not disguise itself other than a very ordinary love story
• Good acting from most of the main cast
• Lovely, light moments that made me cackle out loud
• Pretty accurate depiction of everyday life, for example the Indian lottery man who comes by your table when you are having your meal
• It’s very Malaysian.

What I did not like:

• Constant shaky camera movements that gave me quite a headache. I don’t see why a low budget arty movie cannot be NOT shaky
• Too many scenery shots (and repeated too!) for the longest times. I grew up in a kampung, I know what coconut trees look like, but I guess all the kampung scenes are for the benefits of the Western audience/market
• Open-to-interpretation movies, period. For the same reason, the ending of Yasmin Ahmad’s GUBRA was a bit wtf for me. Maybe the problem is me. Yeap, it’s me. I don’t like to do too much thinking
• Or MAYBE the reason is because I’ve watched too many of these kinds of interpretative films, both local and foreign, and that is why sometimes I fully appreciate no-brainer movies such as ‘Snakes On A Plane’.

What I did not understand:

• Why was John’s greeting of ‘Assalamualaikum’ beeped out?

Maybe some people who know and understand more about indie movies can provide a better perspective. Oh wait, they did! Check out the Jury Statement of the New Current Awards in the 11th Pusan International Film Festival:

This film is using a known cinematic language in a nice way telling the life of a village girl who is going to a big city to work and face the reality and the morality of our time.

w00t! By the way, this movie won the FIPRESCI Award (Prize of the International Film Critics), and shares the New Currents Award (Best New Asian Filmmaker of the Year) with Chinese director Yang Heng’s ‘Betelnut’ at the 11th Pusan International Film Festival in Korea.

It was also featured in the recent Tokyo International Film Festival, competing in the ‘Winds of Asia’ Category. I don’t know if it won, doesn’t seem to be much info on that.

LOVE CONQUERS ALL was written and directed by Tan Chui Mui and produced by Amir Muhammad. It opens in GSC Midvalley, GSC 1Utama and GSC Gurney Plaza on the 21st December 2006 (this Thursday). Catch it if you want something different, catch it if you want to keep track of Tan Chui Mui’s directing career which can only get better in the future, and catch it because Leong Jiun Jiun who plays Mei can beat Jay Chou’s stoic acting in ‘Curse of the Golden Flower’ anytime.

So I started the whole blog award thing last year because I thought these kinds of horse shit awards are… well, horse shit. If you have read my entry last year, I’d explained why it’s just a popularity wankfest.

This year I didn’t have a look at any on-line award thingy, because I don’t have time and because I really don’t give a shit. But I am lacking of things to blog and so it’s a good idea to recycle the Suanie Awards. Maybe I’ll make it an annual run. See my mood how.

Besides I wanna honour y’all.

So…

Without further ado…

Presenting…

THE (now) ANNUAL SUANIE AWARDS 2006!!!!!!

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you. As usual, let’s skip the nominations and go straight to the winners, because it’s my awards show and I say so.

Freshie Blog of the Year goes to… MANUSCRIPTS DON’T BURN!!!!!

Congrats congrats, you lot are fighting a worthy cause and I like books and I wanna free the books and that’s why you lot are so deserving of this award that comes with no money, no status, but with lots of moral support. That’s what’s important, right?

The Best Original Blog goes to… THE SECOND HAND WONDERLAND!!!!!

Congrats congrats, you’ve been the most consistent personal blogger I know, while the others change, fade and flicker, you remain the same. That’s good, keep it up!

The Cyah & Come Back Again award goes to… JAY SO RULES!!!!!

Yeah I understand how and why you feel the way you do. But please reconsider, won’t ya? That’s why this is not a ‘Farewell Award’…

Best Malaysian Socio-Political Blog (for now) goes to… REDUCED AND RECYCLED!!!!!

I always love your insightful posts (when you bother to update so take this as a hint kthx).

Best Reality TV Blog goes to… CULTURALLY PRECONDITIONED!!!!!

Honestly I don’t know of other reality tv blogs, but if I had read more reality tv blogs, you would have won hands down anyway

Down With The Man award goes to… OPEN MALAYSIA BLOG!!!!!

Even though I don’t understand half of what is written, I still support whatever is written. Yay!

Funniest Blog Entry goes to… SULTAN MUZAFFAR’s Misi Suara Mawi!!!!!

It’s short, deathly sweet and I still get the giggles reading it today.

Satu Misi, Satu Suara, Terus ke Mawi Anda!!!!

Bestest Haiku Blog goes to… MADHAIKU!!!!!

Again, I don’t read many any other haiku blogs, but you are so great that you outshine everyone else! When I grow up, I want to write haiku just like you! ph33r le haiku aura!

Bestest Puppies goes to… LAINIE!!!!!

Normally I wouldn’t like to recycle my awards, but in this case you win hands down

Special Achievement Blog Award goes to… HANTU BOLA!!!!!

Honestly I don’t know what you guys have achieved, but whatever it is (define your own achievements here) it must be great!

The two final awards go hand in hand.

The Bestest Blog Award goes to… YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS AND JUBILATIONS ALL AROUND! CONFETTI AND CORNFLAKES IN THE AIR!!! POP THE CHAMPAGNE AND [censored]!!!!!!!!! You are ALL so GREAT I could hardly catch my breath.

And with that, here’s another award for ya…

Yay!

Congratulations to all the winners :D :D

I won’t be around for the weekend, knock yourselves out.