sometimes you don’t really need astro max

Astro has some seriously kick-ass advertisements, the more recent ones are the ads on Astro Max, like why you need a PVR (personal video recorder) etc.

One of the Astro Max ads was about this housewife who loves watching Chinese drama series. You know how these soppy series go; they drag on for a long time, at a minimum of 20 episodes for each title.

One day the housewife finally had some time to catch up with her favourite TV show, and was laughing at some hillarious parts. Then suddenly her son jumped onto the couch, took the TV remote and switch the channel to sports.

She looked damn sad.

Another time, the housewife was cooking in the kitchen, and peeking at the TV through some hole in the wall or something. Then suddenly her daughter jumped onto the couch, took the TV remote and switch the channel to Channel V.

The housewife looked damn sad.

The husband saw all this, and was damn sad also, and the next day surprised his wife with Astro Max. The housewife of course was damn happy. And then there was family harmony la da bi da la.

Now…

If this was a real life situation, then I’d say the husband got damn sad for the wrong reasons.

Instead of buying the Astro Max, he should have:

1) Scolded his children damn kau teruk because they so biadap
2) Scolded his children damn kau teruk some more because they so unfilial
3) Scolded his children damn kau teruk another time because they don’t care about other people’s feelings
4) Scolded his wife for not scolding the children there and then
5) Scolded himself for letting things get this far.

The end.

video killed the radio star

Topic has not much to do with this post. Just a tune I’ve been humming to myself for an hour.

I was watching the news on TV the other day, TV3′s Berita Utama to be precise. And right there in between the two newscasters, was a Jawi word, and underneath that was the word ‘Jihad’.

Okay…

Any Muslim friends would like to explain the relevance of ‘Jihad’ and Berita Utama?

I am not taking the piss (why should I?). I am just extremely curious to know what the prime news has to do with ‘jihad’. Since I am too lazy to write to TV3 about it, and too impatient to wait for an answer, I rely on you O my knowledgeable readers to educate me on this weird connection (at least it’s weird to me).

After some time they showed an old, blind woman living in Sabah with her son who makes RM12 a day and has to support her/family/himself and it was all very pitiful and some politician members visited them and gave them some goodies and if the generous public is so inclined please donate some money to the poor suffering family.

Except that Val and I spotted a hi-fi stereo sitting nicely beside their nice TV in their living room.

I think I should just stick to getting my news on-line la. Visuals, most of the time just piss me off. Not good for my tolerance level.

what a bitch…

This is TinTin, Janice’s family female canine companion.

Janice's dog, Tin Tin

This is a sensitive part of my thigh which was rather fair and flawless before TinTin attacked and stuck her claw in.

Clawed by Tin Tin

You have a great weekend too.

kacau aje… jangan tangkap gua…!

Belog hari ini akan ditaip dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Saya meminta maaf kepada pembaca belog ini yang tidak tahu membaca dalam Bahasa Malaysia, tetapi kerana mereka tidak akan erti apa yang saya tengah tulis, saya agak mereka tidak akan tahu yang saya tengah mohon maaf.

Itulah… ini semua pasal Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka. Saya takut mereka akan denda saya sesuka hati. Walaupun kebarangkalian saya akan kembali menulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris esok, saya tetap ingin membuktikan bahawa belog saya memiliki ciri-ciri patriotik yang amat dialu-alukan.

(Habis, kalau kena denda, siapa nak bayar? Bukan aku…)

Baiklah…

Chup. Saya ingin mengingatkan pembaca belog ini bahawa penguasaan Bahasa Malaysia saya adalah setengah selepas enam dan kian merosot. Ini bukannya salah saya tetapi salah George Soros, kerana negara ini sememangnya suka menyalahkan orang lain atas masalah-masalah yang tidak dapat dikawal. George Soros adalah orang kaya, biarlah dia menanggung akibat kemerosotan penguasaan Bahasa Malaysia saya.

Seterusnya…

Semalam saya menikmati hidangan Korean BBQ di Bandar Puteri, Puchong bersama kawan-kawan saya atas jemputan Hayanna dan teman lelakinya Mer Vyn. Malang sekali kita tidak dapat bertemu dengan Hayanna kerana dia terpaksa kerja lebih masa. Mer Vyn pula berada di restoran itu, dan menerima kita dengan baik sekali. Saya sebenarnya kenal Mer Vyn dari dahulu — kita adalah orang sekampung. Muka dia pula sebiji serupa sepupu-sepupunya. Itulah sebab saya boleh mengecam Mer Vyn dari jauh.

Hidangan Korean BBQ sedap dan lazat. Anda boleh membaca laporan makan malam di belog KY. Jika anda berada di kawasan Bandar Puteri Puchong, kunjungilah restoran Korean BBQ milikan Hayanna sekeluarga serta Mer Vyn. Anda pasti tidak akan menyesal!

Cipet betul nak tulis semua dalam BM. Terhungap-hungap saya bertanya kawan-kawan yang menjadi kamus dwibahasa saya. Tapi sebelum saya meninggalkan pembaca belog saya dalam kaguman yang saya sebenarnya mempunyai bakat yang tidak terhingga, ada satu perkara yang saya tidak puas mengenai Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.

Kita semua tahu bahawa televisyen adalah perantaraan yang amat penting. Ko orang tak tengok tv ke? Tak tengok macam maner dia orang membelasah bahasa Malaysia ke? Apa pula guna perkataan seperti ‘ambisi’? Bila pula ko orang memperkenankan perkataan itu? Kan perkataan yang sebenarnya adalah ‘cita-cita’? Apasal ko orang tak nak tangkap mereka yang menyembelih bahasa pusaka? Haa… jawab… lepas jawab baru boleh denda orang lain. Kalau nak betulkan keadaan BM di negara, jangan selalu ikut bahasa orang Inggeris. Malu tau tak?

Sekian.

me wants to be a lean machine: day 22

According to Kerol’s super duper weighing machine, I’ve lost 3kg.

Yay me.

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Btw read this and tell me you won’t die laughing:

Amir Muhammad on Thursday:
Switch to Boleh and see us move up the ranks

I nearly peed myself.