purge this song outta my head!!!!!

Hot cross buns
Hot cross buns
One a penny two a penny
Hot cross buns
If you have no daughters
If you have no daughters
If you have no daughters
Give them to your sons
Hot cross buns
Hot cross buns
One a penny two a penny
Hot cross buns

Don’t know why that rhyme’s been stuck in my head for the past two hours.

BlearghhhhhhhhhhhhhHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

me want to be a lean machine: day 1

Right, I am embarking on a project titled above. I had thought of ‘fat’ instead of ‘weight’ since you are supposed to be losing the former not the latter etc etc (ST can explain it better), but ‘lose the fucking fat’ does not sound as good as ‘lose the fucking weight’.

(KY:i left a comment
me: lean? hmm elaborate lean?
KY: yah, lean is less fat ma. like this product called lean crusine, tv dinner actually, with low fat
me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
KY: “lose” is like “do not”. a negative word
me: how to use lean as project name?
KY: “me wanna be a lean machine”. might be a good title)

Truth to be told, I don’t know how long I will be able to keep this up. My strategy is simple — cut down my food rations. Unfortunately I am a food lover, I love food, food excites me, the more the merrier, more than that even better. Beer is dessert. I love desserts.

But I realise that I have a HUGE problem. Having the extra fat makes me sluggish, and overall it brings down my morale. It makes me feel unattractive, undesirable etc. It didn’t bother me before, but now that I am older, I realise that I have to do something about my body image, overall image. I could be in possession of the best personality in the world, but unless my virtue-ful aura has a strong 5-mile radius, you can’t really tell just by looking at me, can you?

Whoever said that looks don’t matter, lied.

Whoever said that looks don’t matter much, lied too.

Looks matter. Period. Once you can fit into your clothes (‘cos no money to buy new ones), you feel more comfortable, your confidence level goes up, only THEN the great personality comes into play. Or the other way around. Whatever that works.

I don’t want to look like a stick-thin starved skinny bitch. Erm, that would probably never happen anyway, and I am glad. ‘Cos that is not healthy. Ideally, I want to look like… erm someone with curves. I like curves. Curves are hot. I used to have curves. Now I am just a blimp.

And I want to change that. I am tired of looking like a blimp. Clothes, especially the ones my current size are not cheap in Malaysia.

Neither are those diet plans. K should know, but it’s working for her. I don’t have that kinda money (even if I did, I’d splurge it all on food and beer!!! bwahahhaha!!! okay wrong attitude, jk). I don’t want to eat meat all the time. I don’t fancy being stuck in the toilet for ages. I’ll think about exercising. That’s extreme mental acrobatics, you know…

What I can do is, cut down my food rations. I believe it will help a lot. This blog obviously will be my log, so I have to be honest with myself.

Bla bla bla, this is a spur of the moment thing, though due for a long time I think. Maybe the affirmations worked; I was conscious of what I ate the entire day. Normally I wouldn’t have a clue. So here we go.

Breakfast: small bowl of porridge with egg and vege
Lunch: 2 spoons of rice, big serving of two types of green vege, 5-6 small pieces of chicken. Or pork, don’t really know what it was.
Tea: 3 Nescafe, 1 Coke, 3.5 spoons of nasi lemak
Dinner: 3 spoons of rice, one whole side of a steamed pomfret, 3 medium pieces of lean meat, a few pieces of fried tofu

Right. Wish me luck. Nites.

Related post:
The Fat Diaries

i am slim today

On the way to work, I tuned in to 104.9FM and caught bits and pieces of a talk show with Julian Leicester, the hypnotherapist. I had met him before, interviewed his wife for a magazine centuries ago, they are a pretty nice couple.

Julian was famous for his ‘quit smoking with hypnotherapy’ campaign. This time he talked about losing weight using hypnotherapy.

“It’s a condition of the mind”, he said. Now, I don’t know what condition he’s talking about but something else he said made sense.

“If you say to yourself, ‘I will not eat unhealthy food today’, the ‘not’ will slip away’” bla bla “you should say positive things to yourself, such as ‘I EAT healthy food today’ or ‘I AM slim today’” bla bla something about the mind being told to do what you have set yourself to do bla bla… I hope you get the drift.

Say it with me, bitches!

I AM slim today.
I AM hot today.
I AM cute today.
I AM desirable today.
I AM rich today.
I AM uber-geek ultra-smart today.
I AM ____ today.

I feel better already :D

By the way, any ideas on how to lose weight? I can’t fit into my clothes no more.

mom and nuts

Sometime in March, my mom went to Australia for an after-retirement holiday and also to visit her sister, my auntie who is living there.

She bought a few large packets of macadamia nuts which we love, and gave one packet to me when she returned a month later.

From April till September, I polished off only a quarter of the packet.

Last week, my mom saw the remaining nuts which I’d stored in a nice little jar.

Mom: You don’t want to eat, give me lah!
Me: Iyerr… why you buruk siku one…
Mom: Hah! Unfilial daughter!
Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

A few days later, I gave her the jar of nuts.

Me: Nah, give you la… macadamia nuts anytime also can buy, but I got only one mother…
Mom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Two days later, the jar was empty.

A bit regretting my ‘filialness’ moment now…

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Quite happy today.

Lalalalala.