As Suanie Sees It

I tell you, all this USA vs Iraq, Iran bs is plain nonsense and child’s play. All the drama-lama is just a ploy to shift your attention from the REAL enemy.

In short, it was just to get oil, pure and simple.

You know, I have no qualms with that. Really. Cars, like us need to drink too, else they would get dehydrated and sputter and die. And since USA has more cars and trucks and bikes and what-not than say, Mongolia, it is fine that they need to obtain the oil, and some other people need to suffer for it. Too bad.

But why can’t they say that out right, huh? Why all the hiding behind a seemingly noble cause of relieving a country from WMD? So NOW they actually HAVE to look for the WMD in order not to look like stupid fucks who don’t know the reason they fucked a couple countries up down front back left right.

They aren’t looking at the right places.

The WMDs are not in the Middle East.

I know WHO has the WEAPONS of MASS DESTRUCTION!

That’s right ladies and gentlemen. A little bird told it to me, and now I tell it to you. The ever-elusive WMD are in fact…

right here…

in…

…
….
…
……
…
…
……
….
….
..
.

MALAYSIA!!!!!!!!!

Surprising, isn’t it? I kid you not. You know, I’ve always wondered why the US never really suspected Malaysia for harbouring WMDs and stuff that blows up. Just because we make ourselves out to be the progressive Islamic country doesn’t mean we can’t keep a nuke or two! Just in case we get too bored of all the peace-shizzy you know. Nukes are big. Big things are fun. We like nukes.

War is good for business anyway. Helps spur the economy.

Anyway like I said, I got this info from a little bird. The little bird then flew away and got shot in the head for tweeting too damn much. I am not a fan of happy birds.

And today, I finally saw it. I saw the WMD. Right in front of me was the most feared shizz in the history of mankind, because there won’t be a mankind AFTER we use it. We humanoids are bent on self-destruction, it seems.

If you are ready to see what I saw, I present to you…

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

WMD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, lame Friday joke. It’s my birthday so I’m allowed. Moving on.

By the way if you are from the government, I would like to state loud and clear that this pretty much useless post is meant as a lame joke. JOKE, you know the type that makes people go ‘hee hee haa haa fucking noob’. There is a reason why I am not a stand up comedian in real life. Please don’t put me in prison, kthx.

Erna’s brother, Ay is saying goodbye to the KL smog and returning to the state of Mt. Kinabalu. In a way, I envy him — I have been to Sabah a couple of times, and they were the best vacations I’ve had. Of course my auntie and uncle residing there were excellent hosts, but there’s just something about the air that is different from that of Peninsular Malaysia.

But there is also something about the pollution here that gets to me, oddly enough in a positive way. The noise, the smog, the coughing, the choking… they come with the hustle-bustle of the city, bright lights and bad traffic. I hate them of course, but I don’t know if I could do without them. All these also represent work and money opportunities within the city, the places you could go to at 4 in the morning knowing that they would be open, the local art scene which I am learning to love, and so on and so forth.

They also make a week’s holiday in beautiful Sabah worth more than a king’s ransom.

But perhaps it is easier for me to actually like the Klang Valley. I am Chinese after all, and a fair one at that (by ‘fair’ I mean lighter skin colour). It is not difficult to pinpoint my race in this nation of tiga bangsa dan lain-lain. People being people, are naturally prone to sticking with their own. If you do not believe me, guess what brand of cars the Korean expat community in Malaysia predominantly use?

Ay is a nice guy. He is tall, slim, dark-skinned, a tad muscular and has beaauuutiiifullll eyes. He is smart, very friendly and obliging, speaks and writes English better than me, and is apt to crack silly jokes when the opportunity presents itself. He dresses like how boys his age do; casual Ts, cargo pants and sneakers. He also keeps a hairstyle that makes him look like an escapee from the Pusat Serenti. That perhaps may have been the main cause of his problems here in Klang Valley.

Since he does not own a car, he basically walks a lot to buy food and other stuff that he needs, newspapers and such. He enjoys walking, he said. Well, good for him, healthy shmuck and all that. It is not really a problem, unless it rains or something. Other people go the extra mile to avoid him on the street, but I don’t think that inherently is a problem. Or is it? Heh… maybe a percentage.

One of the funniest (or saddest?) incident involving Ay was like what I said, random strangers go all the way out to avoid him. The old newspapers pile in the house was getting taller, so I told him to get hold of the ‘old newspaper old newspaper’ lorry fella to collect our newspapers. A week or so later, I noticed that the huge pile was still there. I mentioned it to Erna, and she told me that we had a problem. Seems that everytime Ay tried to hail the lorry fella down, the lorry fella stepped on the gas and quickly drove away. This happened more than once so it wasn’t a coincidence.

I laughed like kok, but also felt kesian for Ay lah.

And I wonder, in these crime-laden days, if I didn’t personally know Ay, would I have the same reservations?

Just random Thursday jottings. Kind of bored at the moment.

It’s been one week since I decided to make a change about my body image. It’s been 5 days since I’m on the Atkins. So far, so good. Still standing, not woozy.

Yesterday I had wanted to go for a jog after work but it started drizzling for a bit. Felt damn sien, ‘cos I really wanted to see how my body could take it.

When I was in high school, I used to run long-distance for my house team. Not very long also lah, but I can’t really remember the exact distance now (it’s been more than 10 years). After that I gained a lot of weight, and did not walk much until 2 years ago. Twenty minutes a day for 3 or 4 months saw me losing a significant amount of weight.

Then I got a car, and the rest is history.

Anyway, I wanted to walk. I do walk a lot in shopping malls, but that type of walking could hardly make me break a sweat. Tiring, no doubt but frivolous.

So yesterday after dinner, I put on my long-neglected sports shoes and walked to Centrepoint.

Okay okay, it’s not really that far from my place, but it’s a start. I sweated a little, I felt good.

Also bought Baskin Robbins home. Haha not for me lah. In the words of someone slightly more (in)famous, tak teringin pun

But yesterday was also the damnest day EVAR. S-kay blogged about cupcakes, and there was link left by one of her readers to a cupcake baker in Singapore, Cupcake Momma. I went through her Flickr collection of cupcakes; almost wanted to buy a ticket to Singapore there and then.

The things we do to ourselves…

I just realised that not only my bad eating habits screwed up my body, it screwed up my grammar too! Erm, so the whole thing is now ‘me wantS to be a lean machine’, aight?

Actually it may have been without the -s. I don’t really know how this grammar thing works — it eludes me most of the time. In Malay we call that ikut naluri so I’m just following what sounds good to me. Friends from the past take note — this was how I passed all my English tests with flying colours. You should follow your instincts more often.

So, third day of the Atkins, and seems like a few readers of this blog don’t agree with it? I think I should elaborate on how I plan to do all this. Was too tired yesterday to continue writing.

Right, the plan. Well, I intend to follow the Atkins diet thing for 2 weeks. After that I’ll have a look at the results… which reminds me, I should probably get a weighing machine or something… and if I am still alive after a fortnight, will continue with the Atkins for another 2 weeks. Then I’ll look into different things, as I know that the Atkins should not be a long-term commitment. I’d die without bread before the high blood pressure gets to me.

And yes, I do intend to join a gym. But that could only be done come next month, because I can’t suka2 join the gym in the middle of the month for three reasons: 1) They don’t charge for only half a month, 2) I’m kinda very broke this month, 3) I will still be broke next month but there will be some moolah for the gym. Yay.

And I already had caffeine. Nyeh nyeh nyeh. Sorry, can’t do without coffee. Plus it was free coffee. You all so nice to me *sniff*

The no-caffeine rule was imposed because caffeine supposedly makes you want to consume sweet stuff. It didn’t to me, and my coffee was sugar-free (I like it bitter).

So I didn’t exactly learn it the hard way then

Btw, only 12 more days before the Pixart’s 20% discount ends. Go read my review on the Pixart pocket book here, and make good use of the discount offer if you want an album of your own.

Also realised that I should change the sidebar pix. Not a good motivation. Damn you Secret Recipe.

It’s my second day doing the Atkins. At first I had thought of just wanting to cut down my food intake (yes, I did eat a lot, mostly when I was unhappy and felt like I was out of control with my life etc). Then my sister talked to me about the Atkins, which I had heard before, and sort of got me into it. Mostly because she was so encouraging, I think.

I went online and looked up for more info on the Atkins diet. You can find it at Wiki, me lazy to post the url now. For most parts it sounds ok — I was prepared to give up rice, noodles, bread, sugared drinks, alcohol (oh le horror), but what I didn’t expect was to find caffeine on the list.

OH MY GOD LIFE WITHOUT COFFEE, HOW TO LIVE LIDDAT?!?!?!?!

Guess I’m going to find out the hard way. Sniff.