jodoh belum sampai, rilek ah…

I think it’s one of those rhetorical questions a single person gets when s/he is… uh single. “Bila lagi?” “When is your turn?” “Where’s the boyfriend?” “Cannot get married too late wohhh, otherwise end up an old maid”.

Translated: I could be the CEO of Earth Sdn Bhd governing the lives of nearly 7 billion peps and wildlife and fish and squid, but if I were still single, in the end I’d just wind up an old maid. Regardless.

To put it simply, you could be at your death bed hanging on to dear life and I would be the sole decider on whether you live or die and your last breath would be wasted with these words hurled towards my powerful but single face, “you fucking old maid”.

Well, people are weird, you never know.

When minishorts blogged about being unmarried, I immediately thought of my current situation.

And of all people, it came in the form of a security guard.

I’ve been getting quite chummy with the guards at my sister’s place, mostly for easier access to the visitors’ parking lot. We speak sometimes, and one day after I bought them tea, the following conversation transpired. For the record, this is a different guard from the one I had a similar conversation with.

“Berapa umur kak?”
“25. Muda lagi.”
“25 muda? Ish… 25 dah nak kahwin dah, berumahtangga. You ingat 25 muda ke?”
“Memang la… bukannya harap sangat nak kahwin tu.”
“Tak boleh macam tu kak… orang kata, rumahtangga itu syurga.”
“Kalau takde jodoh, apa boleh buat…”
“Takde jodoh? Standard kak tinggi sangat ke?”
“Taklah… memang sekarang takde jodoh… tunggu lah…”
“Nak tunggu sampai bila??? 25 dah nak tua woooooo.”
“La… kak I kahwin umur 29… memang sekarang cina kahwin lambat punya…”
“You punya akak kahwin umur 29, abis you nak kahwin umur 29 juga? Jangan tiru orang…”

-_-”

“You umur berapa?” I asked him.
“22.”
“Abis, you dah kahwin ke belum? Ni nak kata orang…”
“Eh laki kahwin tua takpe, pompuan tak boleh. You tengok tu Siti Nurhaliza ngan Datuk K… Umur CT berapa… umur Datuk K berapa… kalau laki ha… berapa tua pun boleh kahwin…”
“Ah k la I naik atas dulu, bai!”

If you don’t understand Malay, basically I was “reprimanded” for not even thinking of wanting to get married anytime soon.

Thinking back, it’s rather… surreal. In any case, I’ve been careful not to bump into him. Can’t be bothered to get into the whole single-don’t-see-it-as-a-problem ‘conversation’ again.

Gilby Clarke is kinda hot.

Tags:

29 comments:


  1. ShadowFox, 12. August 2006, 4:01

    It’s better to not get married than to hastily marry the wrong person only to regret later on.

    Older women also have their own oommph factor mah..

    Otherwise why do you think people go crazy over MILF nowadays ?

    Of course, that is assuming Auntie still have the sexy body shape and know how to ‘tar pan’ nicely.

    You should thank god you at least got the boobs!

     
  2. Anonymous, 12. August 2006, 4:05

    lol are u that desperate to flirt with the security guard?

     
  3. Suanie, 12. August 2006, 4:15

    Shadowfox: true, so tough these days.

    I also have size 9 feet. some men like that.

    Anonymous: lol, no. read, bitch.

     
  4. delia, 12. August 2006, 10:35

    this coming from a pak guard, no less:-)

    ya i got the “bila nak kahwin lagi” oso last night from a friend’s mom. you can’t win. sighs

     
  5. minishorts, 12. August 2006, 11:36

    wait wait wait till you’re at a round table luncheon with managers from different companies, and when your bosses decide to use your marital status to break the ice, you’re stuck and you can’t get out.

    stupid world.

     
  6. James, 12. August 2006, 13:18

    Wait till you see Suanie’s bank account, how come so much money there. :-)

     
  7. anttyk, 12. August 2006, 16:38

    Apparently, Suanie doesn’t need sleep. Blogging at 3.04 am in the morning.

    Got steal chickens or not?

     
  8. ramzwatcher, 12. August 2006, 19:06

    haha..i dont know should laugh or not. is it funny or not but i feel want to haha..

    That guy just want to kacau u lah suanie..hehe

     
  9. foodcrazee, 12. August 2006, 19:58

    oops ! usual question u get from elderly…but from such a young man….apalar..

     
  10. Giant Sotong, 12. August 2006, 21:06

    Woooaaahahahaaha…! Wounded Big Sweat Smiley Encore!

    I get the feeling only the Chinese play the waiting game. Not to send any negative messages… .

     
  11. Dabido(Teflon), 12. August 2006, 22:27

    ‘otherwise end up an old maid’

    Too late for me!!!! :-)

    Anyway, my mother is the same. Only, whenever I mention any girl I may like [mainly asian ones on the internet], my mother automatically decides she doesn’t like them already! lol

    The other day she shoved an ad for a dating site under my nose. Told me to go find a girlfriend. lol
    YET, whenever i mention I am going out to see someone, my mother acts as though I’m going to see ax weilding maniacs and makes every excuse under the sun as to why I’m not allowed to see them. Apparently, they want my body organs or something! :-)

     
  12. Waifon, 12. August 2006, 23:59

    Thank God I’m only 17 going on 18. Still a few more years to go before I get bombarded by universal idiots. Honestly speaking, I would be quite reluctant to give up the bachelorette status at the age of 25 unless my motherly instinct is really desperate to crawl out from my body. I nie gila kuasa skit so kalau nak kahwin mesti dominate dunia dulu.
    Eh, pak guard apa sibuk!? Tolong ar, tepi skit!

     
  13. Fong, 13. August 2006, 1:20

    .. ya .. super ‘fei’ lah this mentality .. like getting married is the light at the end of the tunnel like that. So sad. *sigh* Please okay .. this is 2006 .. 25 is stil ter-sangat muda lah. Enjoy our youth!! ;)

     
  14. Suertes, 13. August 2006, 13:00

    Too cute, Suanie.

     
  15. kruy, 13. August 2006, 19:02

    there’s nothing you can do because this is just the typical Malaysian soceity pressure. either you get married and shut them off or just bear with it ;p

     
  16. Kuzco, 13. August 2006, 19:41

    Try speed-dating. And take loads of pictures :D

     
  17. Suanie, 13. August 2006, 19:53

    James: zero, that’s how much i have

    anttyk: no, but got frogs

    ramzwatcher: he was being utterly serious… his perception memang liddat

    Dabs: haha ask her to make up her mind!

    Kuzco: good idea, maybe, just maybe :D

     
  18. Z, 14. August 2006, 10:12

    I don’t know about you, but I get kinda ape-shit crazy when people try to tell me what to do with my personal life.

    The old man(my dad la) actually gave me an ultimatum that if I were to get married before 28, he’s gonna break my leg.

    Yeah, he’s weird like that.

     
  19. niki, 14. August 2006, 15:22

    Yeah we are the same age.. My mum scared me the other day when she told me how much she want for my dowry @_@ run away!

     
  20. moo_t, 14. August 2006, 16:21

    The only reason for very young people asking for married is K-O-N-G-K-E-T.

     
  21. Gina, 15. August 2006, 0:01

    Once, I was asked the same question. Out of no where, I blurted this. I think it is cool - It is hard to find a kindred spirit. I have not given up hope that love would eventually finds me in the end. By that time, I hope I am ready and strong enough to embrace its greatness.

    I read too much Paulo Coelho.

     
  22. steveneleven, 15. August 2006, 10:06

    I feel being a girl is totally tough. For a guy, I can always say tho I dun have a GF but I scored a few! wahahahhahahaha… girls can’t say the same tho, ppl assume u ain’t getting any altho in actual fact u’ve being one wild cat.. rooowwwwllll…

     
  23. don, 15. August 2006, 14:35

    Gilby Clarke: Guns N’ Roses rhythm guitarist? where da heck is he now?

     
  24. Suanie, 15. August 2006, 15:07

    Z: normally parents want their kids to marry early, have own kids so they can carry grandchildren right? I like your dad heh

    niki: how much? O_o

    moo_t: lots of ppl milk the cows prior to buying them what

    Gina: heh yeah everyone should just chill

    steven11: hmm wait la till u are 35

    don: band member of reality tv show Supernova, together with Tommy Lee and Jason Newsted looking for front man for their new band Supernova. Interesting show :D

     
  25. Die Rechnung, bitte. » Me not old, okay? (Pingback), 17. August 2006, 18:00

    [...] Note: Suanie beat me to the punch on this one. As I have already wasted precious grey matter on this dunnowhatsit, might as well post it up. [...]

     
  26. Ari Miraj, 18. August 2006, 12:11

    annoying isnt it? thats why i hate going to my relative’s wedding, or any other wedding for that matter. they always ask the same question “engkau bila lagi?” and the reply is also the same “im jobless, what am i suppose to feed my wife and kids? Sand?”

     
  27. neesa, 3. September 2006, 2:17

    heck. dont u just hate being this age just becoz of this jodoh thing?

     
  28. misssingle, 30. September 2006, 12:36

    Hi Suanie, just chill out.. I’ve faced worst things than u..

    My younger sister, 25 and also my younger bro, 19 are married.. Just imagine how i feel during their weddings.. Im still a cool bachelorette till now..

    When anybody asked me, “ko bila lagi” i replied “tahun depan, kalau tak tahun depan, tahun depan lagi..” hhahahaha :D

     
  29. CHAJELINA, 28. September 2007, 15:41

    OHHooooo..
    MY PARENTS ESP MY DAD ALREADY ASKES MY MOM WHETHER I’VE SOMEONE SPECIAL…UUHUHU
    IF HE ASKED 1 YRS BACK..I COULD MENTION DAT: YES, I DO!!!!
    NOW, I’M SINGLE N AVAILABLE=P…
    SSH HATI 0oooO !!! EVEN THOUGH I’LL BE 22 WITHIN 2 MONTHS FROM NOW
    S0 SAD..FEEL LONELY AND A BIT JEALOUS FOR LOOKING THE REST OF MY COURSEMATE LIVE HAPPILY WIT THEIR LOVE ONES…
    WISH TO MARRIED BY THE AGE OF 26?? INSYALLAH..WISH ME LUCK YE!!

     

Write a comment:






    Recent Comments


    Latest Posts


    Earlier Posts


    Search


    Categories


    Feeds