As Suanie Sees It

So I was lovingly planting some bulbs in hope that they would grow into lovely lovely blooms when the earth suddenly shook and shattered. My bulbs were crushed. I was devastated. Then I heard a loud voice booming out of nowhere;

“Now that I have your attention, go to the nearest newsstand and purchase a copy of Weekend Mail.”

“But.. but.. I am gardening! My bulbs are all dead and now I have to buy new ones!”

“No, you will do as I say and take out RM1.20 to buy the goddamn paper.”

“Can’t I do this later? My hands are all dirty and it’s a couple blocks from the newspapers guy.”

“Now!”

Gulpz. “Okay. By the way will I win the lottery?”

“In your dreams.”

My heart sank as I walked slowly to do as I was told. What is it? I thought, what could be so important that it couldn’t wait till the end of the century?

This had better be good.

Turned out, it was. Who should I see but some chicks on the cover of the Weekend Mail? With a photo feature of Angelina Jolie holding a wad of money no less?

A-ha!

The culprits are on the cam-ho worthy shot are: Kim, Fireangel, Cheesie, Jas, Pinkpau and KinkyBlueFairy.

The second page of the feature looks like this:

FA and Kim hated their photos. I didn’t think the interviews were any good, but then do you see me writing for ANY newspapers? Take heart la bitches, could be a lot worse, no? You are femes, yay!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice plug, cheers.

By the way, I don’t garden. Not like that matters.

About our mutual interest

Sometime back I bought Jerry Lawler’s autobiography “It’s Good to Be the King… Sometimes” for the exorbitant price of RM5 (got to love POPULAR’s sales). Lawler wrote about his life, basically on how he started wrestling in Memphis then in the WWF (now known as WWE). Throughout the book he revealed certain truths on wrestling, lots of kayfabes. The book was honest; it was wonderful!

When one of my YBF friends, Shan Chong found out that I was into wrestling, we became rather good friends. We would talk about characters and story lines as we followed the twice a week screenings on telly (one on Singapore’s Channel 5 and the other on TV3). WWF of course; WCW lacked the fireworks and excitement. Back then the feuds were ‘real’; none of those silly soppy storylines they churn out these days. There were less talking and more wrestling. There were only a couple of chicks instead of the silicone-galore babes today. There was Sunny whom Shan Chong positively adored…

… whom I found out looks like this today, after the demise of her real-life boyfriend Chris Candido (Skip) in 2005.

It was the time of Big Daddy Cool Diesel and Razor Ramon’s feud with Shawn Michaels. It was the time of Bret Hart, who had a feud with The Undertaker with his scary entrance music (and Paul Bearer) and Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels’ coma during a match with Owen Hart which forced him to surrender his Intercontinental title to Dean Douglas. Shawn Michaels’ feud with Sycho Sid, his ex-bodyguard, British Bulldog and just about everyone else. Shawn Michaels entered the ring at Wrestlemania 12 with so much dazzle and showmanship that I still remember till today, and won the WWF championship in an hour long match against Bret Hart.

Very obviously I was a Shawn Michaels’ fan while Shan Chong preferred Bret Hart.

There was also Jerry Lawler and Bret Hart’s ‘Kiss My Foot’ match. The Ringmaster broke free from Ted DiBiase and became Stone Cold Steve Austin. Craps, Yokozuna had the biggest arse I’d ever seen! Isaac Yankem the evil dentist became The Undertaker’s long-lost brother with a painful past, Kane. The Rock made his debut. So much memories!

Those were the days indeed.

About the man

Literally tall dark and handsome, Shan Chong was born on 31st December 1979. I don’t know much about his childhood days, but for the many years that I’d known him, he was always smiling and never once uttered a foul word to me. The only time he got remotely angry with me was all for 5 minutes and then he was back to grinning. Soft-spoken and a real gentleman, we always wondered how he became Head Prefect in his Form 6 days. He loved to cycle on his black and green mountain bike, often cycling from his house to the temple along with a couple other YBF members. That was the reason I wanted a mountain bike in the first place. He played the guitar. He loved Bon Jovi. He was a Manchester United and Nike fan. When he smiled, you could hardly see his eyes. When my rabbit died he was my first friend to console me. When he could drive, he didn’t mind being the chauffeur for most of us did not possess a license at that time. Everyone really adored him, including my mom and my sisters.

About the call

Five years ago today, a mutual YBF member and my senior HH called my mobile. Through her sobs she managed to relay the unfortunate news that Shan Chong had passed away. I was shell-shocked. I didn’t cry until I called my mom to tell her the news. Until today my mom and my sis would tell me that I sounded like a mad woman. I don’t remember.

A few friends and I took the bus to go home. Everyone was puffy-eyed at his funeral. The most heart-breaking scene was when SL took his funeral photo and wiped it lovingly. He was then cremated. He was gone.

Shan Chong had complained of chest pains and was admitted to the hospital. Two days later he passed away. We asked why, but apparently no one knew. The only thing we knew was that he had confided in his mother the night before that he was afraid. Of what, she didn’t tell me. I did not ask.

I think about him a lot, especially when I am in one of my thinking moods. I’d always think of him smiling because I can’t remember him any other way. Wherever he is, I wish him well. That’s the least he deserves.

Ong Shan Chong
31 December 1979 - 6 June 2001

I will pray every night little pal
That you will come out right, little pal
So till we meet again
Karma knows where and when
Pray for me now and then, little pal.

Via Motivator.

I had some thoughts all day yesterday, having read some sites about this and that religion claiming this God that God for their own deluded designs and in the process, dragging the entire afterlife affair down the dark murky gutters of their extremely disturbed minds. It will continue to bother me until I write it down to make some sort of sense to the whole thing, if possible.

“Homosexuals will burn in hell. Single mothers will burn in hell. Whores (defined by the religious perpetrators’ own limited imaginations) will burn in hell. Soldiers will burn in hell. If you are not one of us and do not accept our doctrine, you will burn in hell.”

Besides it being a load of crap, it also made me rather thankful to be living in Malaysia. If the likes of Fred Phelps were here in our country, he would have been jailed a long time ago. Or at least I hope so. I mean, these dudes don’t look so pretty anymore. Phelps would have never made it out there alive Unless Abdul Fatah Harun shows up to save his arse.

Freedom of speech is a nice thing to have. Sometimes you need the extremes to appreciate the sensibles. But sometimes one’s limit is reached and you just CANNOT take it anymore. Fuck free speech; if that man were anywhere remotely near my personal space, I’d bitch slap him till he faints, kick his guts out, draw his blood and leave him for the vultures. He is rather old now so that won’t be too difficult.

But I shouldn’t bother, really. Like the old Malay proverb goes, it’s a case of ‘nyamuk di seberang lautan nampak, gajah terponggok di hadapan mata tak nampak’. Something about a mosquito and an elephant. Tolerance, understanding and acceptance — goodness knows what home devils we have to deal with!

Except that I need to update my blog.

Heaven and Hell

“Embrace [insert religion here] and you shall live forever!”
“There is only one Lord; believe in others and go to hell!”
“The end of the world is near, repent your sins today!”
“Pray to [insert preferred higher power's name] and go to heaven!”
“Americans/Iraqis/Brits/murtads/kafirs belong to hell!”
“Oh yeah, oh yeah, FEEL GOD’S WRATH, you SINNERS!!!”

(By the way, I like this article)

Sounds familiar? Of course, everyone is trying to define the rules of religions according to their own interpretations. Faith, you say, but who are the people who can tell you whether or not you will end up in heaven or hell? Are they God? No. Are they living up to what they preach? Sometimes. Do they really believe that what they say or do with regards to their own religion will be for the good of the world? Hmmm… depends. Hitler had serious self-esteem problem, remember?

Besides, all these could lead to a very funny scenario, something perhaps worth thinking about. Imagine one of those one of those preachers come to you and say that this or that God is great and you should repent your sins and follow the way to heaven etc etc etc. You say that you are not interested thanks. He continue on about his religion and claim that you would end up in hell for being blinded by false gods and so on and so on. You then scream that HE would end up in hell and not you for being so annoying and stubborn when you plainly do not want to layan him. He then scream, “No, you are going to hell!” and you scream, “No,YOU are going to hell”, repeat tirade.

Who do you think will end up in hell?

I remember reading an article eons ago about this supposedly super-duper psychic power dude who claimed that there are no actual heaven and hell for EVERYONE. Sort of anyway. Instead when people die, their souls go to different dimensions their thoughts have made when they were alive. Those who believed that they would go to heaven, would go to heaven where they’d meet similar-minded souls. Those believed they would end up in hell, go to hell. Those believed they would end up in an after-life Starbucks with iMacs and free Internet access go to that dimensions they have created. It is like their very own worlds. Now, I don’t really believe that he left his body and saw this whole phenomena, but I rather like the concept. You end up where you want to be.

The modern Buddhism concept is that heaven and hell are everyday life situations. No need to wait for when you draw your last breath to know what they are like. Heaven, being an idyllic and much sought-after dimension can be experienced if you are happy and jolly and at ease with yourself. Hell, the extreme opposite of Heaven is when you are a vengeful angry miserable cow.

In this context, I ask thee, how does one make out Heaven and Hell then? The suicide bomber *might* end up in Hell, but he believes that he would go to Heaven. Or is it the other way round? Who knows? I am still alive and I do not really fancy asking the dead. The do-gooder who happens to be homosexual *might* end up in Heaven, but who is to say? Who is keeping score? Where’s the definition? How do you draw the line?

Who is playing God? Whose God is it anyway?

Karma for everyone!

And there’s a Hinduism/Buddhism concept that is now very popular even among those who do not believe in organised religions. The Law of Cause and Effect states that ‘whatever you do will come back to you’. This is as simple as snatching someone’s apple when he is about to bite into it. Bam! that is bad. Or deliberately running down a dog. Bam! karma points deducted. When I was younger, I asked a YBF senior if she could prove to me the concept of karma. She looked at me for a bit, then gave me a hard slap on the thigh and said, “There’s your karma; the cause is my slap, the effect is your pain.”

Okay la, I mean, I did ask for it.

How do you accumulate karma points then? It is not as simple as the merit/demerit system back in primary school. Apparently your good karma points increase only if you perform good deeds with sincerity, without the ‘Oh-I-must-do-this-to-increase-good-karma’ thought at the back of your head. Doesn’t work like that lor. If you see a beggar on the streets, feel terribly sorry for him and tipped him some coins, that’s one notch up the karma ladder. Basically, performing good deeds when you really want to = good. Easy-peasy, right?

Now, try digesting ‘white karma’. This is something I learnt many years back, while trying to understand the finer details of karma. A white lie is when you don’t want to hurt anybody, for example telling your host that dinner was good when in fact it was really, really horrible that you are considering ending your friendship with him just to escape his dinner invitations. White karma is at the middle of the ladder, when certain acts do or do not contribute either way to your karma level.

Scenario 1: You are in the kitchen when you look behind to see a stranger coming towards you with a knife. The look on his face spells murder. You scream, then grab a knife and plunge it into his chest. He sputters and dies.
Question: Does self-defense constitutes white karma? Self-defense in the situation above does not equal to revenge, fyi. But the man died, ffs. Sure, if it wasn’t him it would be you. Basic human survival instincts, I understand that. Again I emphasise, the man DIED.

Scenario 2: You are driving when a cat decided to harakiri. Or you couldn’t stop in time and squash a kitty already squashed by other drivers ahead of you. One life down, none to go.
Question: You can’t help it, you say. All very well. But when it comes to karma, what goes?

Scenario 3: White lies, anywhere and anytime.
Question: While your intentions may be good, you are still committing false speech. Does karma understands that?

Scenario 4: You have the opportunity to stop a murderer by killing him. However you feel pity for him, and feel that he would change his ways after your confrontation with him. So you let him go. Next thing you know, the bloodthirsty murderer strikes again, ending the lives of 3 other people, one of whom is your beloved uncle. Yes I know that this is similar to the Spiderman story.
Question: Your actions lead to other actions. How does chain reaction works when it comes to karma?

I thought about it some more, remembered the Five Precepts and answered scenario 1 and 2. All the five precepts begin with ‘Avoid this and that’ or ‘Refrain from doing this and that’. There is no ‘you must do this or that’ because people being people are not perfect. The first precept says, ‘Avoid killing’. So in cases 1 and 2, there is no choice but for you to do what you did and hope for the best.

Cases 3 and 4 are a tad more tricky for me. You could CHOOSE not to tell a white lie, and you could CHOOSE not to let the fella go. What gives?

I do not have the answers. Perhaps I will never find out for karma is not my mom telling me why this and why that. True, you do not need to know EVERYTHING if it is not going to help you in your cultivation or whatever. But you see, I am a curious cat.

All this reminds me of a conversation I had with my Dad.

Me: Do you believe in heaven and hell?
Dad: No.
Me: Huh then where do you think people go when they are dead?
Dad: The body is made of particles bla bla bla… They just cease to exist.
Me: What about reincarnation? Do you believe in that?
Dad: No.
Me: How about a parallel world?
Dad: No.
Me: What do you think will happen to you after you are dead?
Dad: I just cease to exist.

My dad, he damn solid.

I like ice-cream.