female, 24, single, kl

For 24 years I had shuffled by without knowing what was a Kelly or a Birkin, much less know what they looked like. Then in a SATC episode, Samantha Jones coveted a Birkin and it hit me that branded bags are actually given proper names. It’s no longer ‘just a Prada’ or ‘yet another expensive LV that you cannot afford’ and becomes ‘you are a nobody until you carry a Kelly’. Something like that.

In comparison, some women desire a Kelly/Birkin like how I desired my 19″ Samsung 913N LCD monitor that got stolen. I am still grieving.

Nah I am not trying to make any statements. I had a conversation with my sister the other day on women accessories, then I went home and googled for information on the Kelly/Birkin. They look like normal big bags to me, like how some of you would think that my stolen monitor was just another normal big monitor.

But I suppose I should be more conscientious about such things. It would definitely help in my case — a single 24 year old female in a city looking for the possibilities of a new romantic relationship that would sweep her off her size 9 feet. Especially after I posed this question to my sister, “Why can’t I get a boyfriend when there are women uglier than me already married?” and got this answer after a long thoughtful while, “You are too vulgar.”

Perhaps. She was referring to my behaviour, ie my walking, sitting etc, but let’s talk about accessories. I don’t own earrings because I have no need for them. No holes, you see. I hate wearing watches, bangles, bracelets and rings because I don’t feel comfortable having things on my arms and fingers. The only gold necklace I own is the one that my mom gave me for my 21st birthday. A while back someone showed me a RM5000++ Tiffany diamond ring imported from New York that she had saved so hard to buy, and it looked like a ring with bits of glass in it to me.

What about make up, eh? I hardly use it. It’s not like I have a natural glowing complexion that gives off light and a certain aura like you see in SK-II advertisements, but I’d could only be arsed to plaster my face with chemical paint when I go out clubbing, or have to attend events like weddings and the first day of Chinese New Year. I am not totally lost to not have the basic make up stuff — powder/ foundation thingy, eyebrow pencil, one shade of blusher, a palette of eyeshadow colours that I do not know how to use and a few lipsticks, some leftover from the 90s.

I love ‘curtains’ — long dressy gypsy skirts because they are easy to wear and rather ‘airy’. But if we meet for mamak, you are most likely to see me in my grey Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt marked ‘Rebel #1′ and light brown knee-length shorts that I bought from the men’s department in FOS. I’d probably be carrying the same big bag that I’d carried the day before and the day before that and the days before that, because all my stuff are unceremoniously dumped in it.

So failing as a female, kan? Luckily I love shoes because in the words of Keira Knightly, they are so pretty. Maybe that’s my only redeeming female part.

Then I read this article and finally really understood what a friend told me ages ago, about receiving better service or any service at all if you trot around town with a branded bag. She worked in KLCC in one of those expensive looking stores and KLCC being KLCC, you have a lot of people ‘just looking’, too nervous to even look at the price tag. So how do you differentiate the ‘browsing only’ horde with the creme de la creme elite? “Very simple,” she answered, “just look at their handbags. Sometimes the rich and famous would come out in slippers and shorts but you can be sure that their handbags are le original designer stuff.”

Yesterday I watched a programme on 8TV, something about three women aged 26, 35 and 45 preparing their upcoming weddings in different ways. The 26 year old one planned a somewhat elaborate, serious wedding, stuff that little girls dream of. Not a dry eye in the house, that kind of stuff. The 35 year old wanted a relaxed mood, and during her exchange of vows said to her husband, “I’m glad I found someone like you, because I really looked” [add facial comedy effect]. After the formal stuff was done with, she changed into a black top and white pants so she could enjoy her own wedding, dancing and all. The 45 year old’s wedding was very simple, with two kids from either her or her husband’s previous marriage/affair up the stage with the priest. Her very old father with great effort walked her down the aisle and he looked real proud and happy and was crying a lot. Mostly because if she had waited a couple more years, it wouldn’t be feasible to drag him from six feet under to perform his traditional fatherly duties.

The 26 year old Chinese version would be 30 tables for each side of the family, 2.5 to 3 hours of a 10-course meal, arriving at 7 pm only to wait for 8 or 8.30 pm. Substitute ‘cheers’ with ‘yumseng’, hand the mic to a couple old distant relatives so they could sing out-of-tune Hokkien oldies, go around all the tables for the obligatory we-can-do-better-than-the-previous-table yum sengs, voila! a very very happy Chinese family. Congratulations, you have done it, you have made us all proud by proving how very Chinese both of you are.

35 years old? A more sombre affair, smaller, less relatives. 45 years old? What 45 years old? If you are not married by 35, you are never getting married and can look forward to a life of community service because you have no other obligations anyway. The four pillars of your local temple/church are your new best friends.

I have 11 years to go.

Then there was the incident with a security guard at my sis’s place when he asked me how old I was.

“24. I am still young lah.”

“24?!? My sister is 24 and she already has three kids.”

If that doesn’t get you thinking, I don’t know what will.

Comments

  1. steveneleven says:

    hmm, what’s this obsession with marriage ah? About the wedding dinner part, when u are 20 something, you pretty nmuch wanna please your parents. By age of 35 and above, then u are truly independent(mostly la). Thus the difference in wedding. Old ppl want face. Your title is very intriguing.. maybe u should write a book on it.. then u can write seq on it.. 24, 25, 26… etc… sort of like.. publish a blog? Coz seriously asses like me are curious abt women’s mind at any AGE…

    Suanie:
    what obsession? heh… if i get married i think i’d just elope. no chinese dinners.

    come back next year la. i’ll write about being female, 25, single, kl.

  2. ppl have this mentality that girls should get married when they are 25 and above.

    HELL LOW… we can get married whenever we want and even if we dont, who are you to judge eh?

    that said.. be proud of who we are, how we look like, simple or glamourous, pretty or normal, rich or poor… because…

    although pathetic to say…

    somehow, somewhere.. there’s bound to be someone who admires and wants to be with you. :)

    good luck suanie!

    ps :: u dint camho with me in blogs meet.. *grr* :P

    Suanie:
    adoi such romantic thinking… hehehe that’s what we tell ourselves every day eh.. or at least my mom and I do.

    yeah you didn’t camwhore with me either….

  3. Hannibal Lecter said to Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs): “You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you’ve tried so desparately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What’s your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you… all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars…while you could only dream of getting out… getting anywhere… getting all the way to the FBI.”

    Couldn’t help thinking about this one when you mentioned about nice bags.

    Suanie:
    did you memorise this??

    you know, I haven’t actually read/watched Silence of the Lambs….. :P

  4. Sharon Natasha says:

    Ooooh!! You’re still normal, coz u like shoes, just like me! :D I just got my first pair of Jimmy Choos and I tell ya, it does WONDERS to you. Im not much of a handbag, necklace etc kinda person either, Thing is, as long as you’re comfortable doing what you do then its fine. I dont give a flying f*ck as to people’s perception of me. Ive got students who are my age, and have 3 kids already. If shes comfy doing what she does, then fine. Im happy being me. Just my two cents worth ;)

    Suanie:
    oO Jimmy Choos eh… so lovely :D

  5. You are still very young. I got married when I was 29 and my wife 28. BTW, she doesn’t even use foundations, blushers, or eye shadows and I still fell for her. She has a lot of lipsticks though.

    About bags, my friend who works with Hermes was telling me about this Kelly beg which costs aroung Rm75K. I was like “who will be crazy to buy a bag so costly”. It’s actually sold out.

    Suanie:
    but you have to paktoh a couple of years before getting married, right?? Someone was telling me the idealistic dating calculations the other day — date for 3 to 5 years, get married then have kids. So if you want to have a kid before you are 32, you have to already have a candidate for life at 26 (some people have difficulty getting pregnant and all that) …

    bla bla bla bla bla….

    I am not actually worried la. Just got me to thinking — should I be worried or not? And so on and so forth the complexities of the female mind.

    RM75k WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  6. i aint marrying anytime soon nowwwwwwwwww

    marriage is like !@#$!!!

    Suanie:
    but u aren’t married, so how u know? :P

  7. ‘Especially after I posed this question to my sister, “Why can’t I get a boyfriend when there are women uglier than me already married?” and got this answer after a long thoughtful while, “You are too vulgar.”‘

    I disagree. Your vulgarity is part of your attractiveness. Unless she meant it in the true latin meaning of the word … in which case Vulgar means common … but I haven’t seen too many of you around, so I don’t think Suans are that common! Besides, pose this question to your sister, ‘Why are there more uglier and vulgar women out there already married?’

    Suanie: you haven’t seen me walk.

    Or ask this one:
    ‘Why are people stupidier than me running most countries in the world?’
    When you can explain the second one, you can probably answer the first one! :-)

    No holes, you see.

    Except the big one at the back of one ear … which is healing over … I guess you could get a sleeper for it. :-)

    ‘The 45 year old’s wedding was very simple,’

    Geees, I guess if I have one, it might be so small and simple that even the bride won’t turn up!

    ‘If you are not married by 35, you are never getting married’

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! You could have broken it to me gently Suan! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

    Actually, in Australia, it’s ‘if you aren’t married by 40′ … which only gives me a month … because then I turn 41! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

    Aren’t you glad you’ve made someoen more upset than yourself? :-)

    Suanie: my apologies… :P

    nah i am not sorry at all. someone else *should* feel worse bwahhahahaha :P

  8. Suanie: “you know, I haven’t actually read/watched Silence of the Lambs….. ”

    I kinda guessed – I’m old and decrepit, you see. It’s from the movie; I don’t think it’s in the book. And oh, your not having watched the movie is a good sign – it proves you’re young after all!

    Suanie:
    but I’ve read and watched Tai Pan.

    And you are not *that* old.

  9. Oh, and memorise it?? Naw – Google “Hannibal Lecter Good Bag Cheap Shoes” and the lazyweb does it’s magic. Remember, I’m old – memory fading.

  10. I probably should also mention, when I saw that word Birkin, I didn’t know what it was either … so I thought it might have been a brand name for Merkins … now how dumb am I????!!!

    Bodoh Dabido!

    Suanie:
    but you do know of the Kelly…

  11. suanie: “And you are not *that* old.”

    I am old – I can sing most of Duran Duran’s Rio. And have been able to since that song was hot.

    Suanie:
    well, if you insist… :P

  12. I tend to think of Birkenstocks when I see the word Birkin. Not the same thing at all..

  13. You’re not vulgar la. Not at all compared to FA’s blog.

    If vulgarity is really the case then FA lagi no hope lor. *grin*

    Anyway, back to the topic.

    I will tell you from a guy’s perspective, that weight is a considerable factor we consider when wanna date a girl or not lor besides her character.

    Average looking girls are fine, but *ahem* guys tend to have problems coming to terms with women who are heavier than them.

    I don’t want to sound offensive, but sincerely, I cannot be sexually turned on by women who exceeds a certain weight/size to height ratio.

    It is possible to love someone weighty but difficult to be sexually turned on by her.

    Sex appeal is something that triggers the male to respond positively to a possible date with a girl.

    I am not anti-fat people, but like most people, I admit I am shallow, and I can’t help it.

    Suanie:
    lol good thing that:

    1) i am planning to lose weight
    2) we are not interested in each other

    eh? :P

  14. ShadowFox – ‘guys tend to have problems coming to terms with women who are heavier than them.’

    That’s because in the cowgirl position a girl heavier than the guy can break their bucking back! :-)

    Suetres – You’re still young. Duran Duran … ptth! Kids music! :-)

    Suanie – no, I thought maybe Kelly was a bushranger from Victoria! :-)

  15. try marketing yourself to be somebody not looking for marriage but companionship and slowly build the relationship from there

    some men will run far far away when they smell commitment

    Suanie:
    agreed… but then I am not looking for marriage leh. I have problems with commitment myself..

  16. You do have a mop of shiny golden hair… even though you don’t have natural beauty and a great singing voice :P

    Suanie:
    quoting gubra… siuttt

  17. You can’t handle the truth. Bwahahahahahaah!

    in $ sense, marriage is a way to create more debts and spread the debts. ;) So government hates single, it is bad for economy.

    Suanie:
    singapore comes into mind

  18. Suanie -hee hee! I knew I could make you smile by pretending to be upset! hee hee! :-)

  19. Errrr, can I date you ah? ;-D

    Suanie:
    ok sure, let me ask ur gf first :P

  20. it rubs the lotion into the skin or else it gets the hose again! you have to watch/read the movie/book la girl. best.

  21. Generally I think men and women are different. And they choose each other because they are different. What good is a man, if he can’t roll up his sleeves and hammer a shelf into existence?

    I can turn a piece of ply into a decent shelf and that is my measure of a man…. All hail DIY, when you are choosing a man.

    That said, I guess many men are looking for softness when they look for a partner. There is a balance between being comfortable with yourself and possessing characteristics of a woman (the scent of a woman, if it pleases you). If you are more “rough” or “vulgar”, then I guess you either:

    1. Find someone MORE vulgar and rough, when compared to you.
    2. Soften yourself a little.

    My dua sen.

    Suanie:
    hahahhaha get the guy to fix the house eh…
    I could do all these things actually, if i could be arsed to do it
    change my own lightbulb and all
    unless i cant reach them and i dont have a ladder
    but yes, maybe i need to not sit with my leg up
    which i am doing right now

  22. oh goodness, don’t remind me. i go to family gatherings and get the “haven’t you found a nice any man to marry yet” question.

    And some of them happen to know I had a girlfriend before this. haiya.

    Suanie:
    how do you reply them?

  23. minishorts says:

    it doesn’t matter, suanie, when you’re my age everybody asks you ‘when are you getting married’. fail fail both ways.

    Suanie:
    we are just one year apart leh…

  24. By owning some expensive and branded women’s handbag or shoes, you are targeting wrong audiences (read Male).

    If a guy come to you complementing you branded shoes (He actually knows the brand, which season, bla bla). He is gay. Well, most probably. Best lesson from the movie Legally Blonde.

    Suanie:
    not true these days tho… what with metrosexuals growing like mushrooms after a thunderstorm

  25. omg do you know how much weddings cost these days? even if i wanted to get married, i wouldn’t be able to afford it! (story of my life)

    huge assed weddings are overrated .. everyone should just get registered and save rm50k. booooo.

    24 still young lah. 24 and having 3 kids sounds plain painful.

    Suanie:
    plus photography plus this that this that…
    it’s supposed to be the HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE ANYWAYYYYyyy
    bah
    I’ll just elope

  26. I thought you had a man?

    Suanie:
    april’s fool ;)

  27. hello :)

    only 24 and already u are thinking?

    here’s someone who’s 34 and tries not to think too much :) que sera sera, girl…que sera sera…

    Suanie:
    no harm thinking

  28. female, 24, single, kl

    *gasp*

    oh shit. that’s me leh.

    Suanie:
    FUWAHHH YOU ARE BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YEAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  29. I have a feeling you are being courted at the moment :p

    Suanie:
    you think everyone hooked up like you meh?

  30. Dun conform to society-lar. Normal ppl are boring. You are DA Suan after all. Drink… and be merry. WOOT!

    Suanie:
    i’d be 30 and cam whoring…

  31. you being courted ah, really ah? darn why i always have to find out from your blog????

    le original designer stuff, well.. i took out my le original desinger stuff in ps boutique that day, and their designer original stuff looks same only, but can get for RM15. Save ’00′ damn.

    have chinese wedding dinner can make back from angpau what, unless you have 2 bus loads of ppl from the kg who’ll bring their 6 kids and give a RM20 red packet. i’ve an uncomfy feeling that i’m going to experience that.. da man of da house is trying to break the news to me genterly, but i make dunnow, see la how.

    make sure you dont make my mistake, at at 25 i dated unc freaky because of you know why la. so da waste of time, money, pride lalalalalala

    Suanie:
    no one court me ar…

    wc only son mah… must big big celebration… thats why… GATHER ALL THE RELATIVES 10 TIMES REMOVE AND CELEBRATE, Y’ALLLLL

  32. sian. when I reborn next life I want to be all MAN.

  33. Hmmm dating in the big city, I need more shoes to really.

    Not so into handbags.

    And marriage, you know what I feel about that :D

    Suanie:
    you look pweettty carrying handbags tho

  34. Let it come when it does la. No point stressing and making a mistake, ending up another divorce statistic. Who says there’s a set age to get married by and if not you’re and old maid? I know, what they’re like, the chinese aunties at family gatherings but heck, at the end of the day it’s your life, and what applied to them doesn’t necessary apply to you.

    Moving on.

    Size 9 shoes ah?Can find size meh? I’m size 10. Its frustrating.

    Suanie:
    fuwah… finally someone has bigger feet than me in m’sia…

    size 9 can find la.. the cheap range, nose and vincci has up to 9 for open toes… those shops like prettyfit and other singular shoe shops have only up to 8, sometimes 7… damn sien.

  35. Even though we always like to say that we’re tough shit and we don’t need no man, but admit it, deep down inside our twisted hearts, we still feel a tad bit pathetic when friends around us are in a relationship while you whirl around town with “single, female, 20-ish” stamped on our bloody foreheads.

    By the way, I prefer Fendi bags for the sake of being vain. :P

    Suanie:
    yeah. I was going to add, “The four pillars of your local temple/church are your new best friends — your ex friends have their own lives to lead and have no time for a 45 yr old single lady bla bla bla

  36. Dear Suanie. First of all I am sorry for your loss becuase i know how you feel techonology brings us happiness and when it doesnt work or is lost…. or stolen….. it feels as if someone really doesnt respect you and we really take it personally… second of all… i dont want to sound like a jerk *forgive me* i had an impression u were like 27+ let me go up and check again and if u r are 24 then u are too young to worry about this all :-) You have time you still do always be optimistic somewhere out there there must be a guy just like u imagine that and smile.. for he will come to u when the time is right and honestly i dont think you are that bad of a person that you will be left alone.. as ky says abt himself you are fun i would say suanie is fun and happening.. and there is a whole world out there of people just like u.. best of luck.. and happy hunting :-) May happiness be with you :) caio

    Suanie:
    thanks ;) How are you liking malaysia so far?

  37. Lainie – I thought you’d found me! Waaaaah! :-)

    Beefstew – I must be so straight … I didn’t know Kelly or Birkin’s merkins! :-)

    FA – ‘when I reborn next life I want to be all MAN.’
    Are you implying that you are part man now? Ewwwwww! :-)

  38. size 9 ka, size 10 ka, size 12 ka, go la shoemaker. not expensive one. get the number from suan, i’ll email her. her name is May, very good, works from home but will come see you also. no closed shoes, open toed only, RM100 and above, not bad la for hand made leh

  39. i am 30 going on 31, single, no bf, no kids, no pets. YOU ARE STILL YOUNG LAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. LOL.

    Suanie:
    best part is, you look 24 ;)

  40. Not everyone is designed for marriage; some people are just better at being friends than spouses.

    Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. These days I couldn’t be bothered anymore. :P

    Suanie:
    holey tshirt ar? :P

  41. Sometimes not finding someone is better.

    24 is still young… take your time. Someone will come along. Eventually.

    Suanie:
    that’s what I told myself a few years ago.

    well .. *shrugs*

  42. KLCC is nothing la, try walking in Starhill. You’ll feel the pressure :P

    Suanie:
    Starhill upstairs la. Downstairs still can walk but walk only lololololol

  43. hippie chick says:

    hi suanie, i really enjoyed this entry. i agree with you the stereotypes, but we should all be careful not to overgeneralize. :) i too am one of the ones who thought you were in your later twenties. but younger men prefer more mature women these days, so you’re not at the losing end.

  44. Suanie:
    i’d be 30 and cam whoring…

    Eh… that is me NOW……. =)

  45. 24?!??! SO YOUNG!! (have to say lah .. same age *grin*)

    Still so much time .. so much ahead of us!! Green pastures!!!!!!!!

    ;)

  46. -test-

  47. yessssssss i am backkkkkkkk//////////

    single = good.

  48. Suanie, just be yourself or else you’ll never be happy. I don’t think the problem is you – it’s just that M’sian men are not mature enough to appreciate an individual like you who actually has an opinion.

    Regarding the shoes part – reminds me of the heroine in In Her Shoes the movie or the book by Jennifer Weiner – she didn’t know how to dress up but she loved shoes which the sister kept pinching.

  49. no extra holes on your ears? think again.

    =/

  50. Malaysian men not good enough? Date foreign men! Lots of them at Beach Club!

    Suanie:
    nothxbai

  51. So many things go into a marriage that it can get rather complicated. Marriage should not be something you do to fulfil some kind of requirement or deadline.

    People can either experience great job or great unhappiness from a marriage. Getting married for the sake of getting married can end up quite nasty.

    For some reason, even though I am a few years older then you and in a relationship, I am quite afraid when I think of marriage. Despite statistical evidence, I don’t feel I am ready and I still think I am too young.

    It’s really a whole, new ballgame, y’know.

  52. sorry ..typo …

    great joy…not great job. hehe.

  53. Suanie:
    i’d be 30 and cam whoring…

    that’s me now wor … lmao! whatever it is laling, i still lub chew. muaks.

  54. u go girl!

  55. only 24!?! still young. go out and experience the world. it’s a lot easier to just pack up and leave when you don’t have any commitment yet. and you’re blseed with a bunch of wonderful friends around you any time you need them.

  56. Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all. M’sians are a judgemental lot. Get out while you still can, otherwise they’ll decide what you’re “worth”, like a slice of beef, using you’re weight, height, looks, etc. as factors in determining who you ‘should’ be paired up with.

    If you want freedom from judgement, leave. It’ll be the best decision you’ll ever make…

  57. Lucky you not married! Ask my wife, she hoped that she wasn’t! trust me, once you are married, you will regret the freedom you once had. This is the same for me too. Those who are not yearned for it and those who are opt out. Living with someone is not easy as you have to accept whatever the other party have to put up with! believe us, you are very, very lucky not attached.

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  1. [...] I’ve been getting quite chummy with the guards at my sister’s place, mostly for easier access to the visitors’ parking lot. We speak sometimes, and one day after I bought them tea, the following conversation transpired. For the record, this is a different guard from the one I had a similar conversation with. [...]

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