if i had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars and none of it goes to taxes, Britney Spears couldn’t be happier if she could sing.
You won’t find me donating it to charity… okay maybe a tiny bit to orphanages, what’s a little loose change? I’d make sure those kids go for therapy though, it’s never fun when you are left behind either by death or abandonment. Self-esteem’s got to take some serious knocking.
I’d buy an apartment. With the rising crime rate, I’d be daft to live in a house, seeing as how I don’t plan to get shackled for a good many years. None of those crappy crampy apartments either, but as I am not a very large person (ahem) a good 1200sq would do. Three bedrooms, the master bedroom soundproofed. I like my music loud, you see. I won’t go into decorating plans; think grey substance within the grey mass of the consumerist world.
I’d travel around the world. I know, it’s somewhat cliche to say that these days, but I’d do it. Two years and one big luggage… I don’t need to stay in plush hotels and various expensive accommodations, though the money would mean that I would never find myself lying on flea-infested beds. It also means whatever stuff I buy abroad, I can just Fedex back home. I just want to walk the world.
First stop — Bangkok. Don’t know why, but got to start somewhere and I’ve never been to Thailand before, Bangkok is a good start as any. Then Vietnam, Taiwan, then Hong Kong, then China, though I am not sure if you are allowed in China so soon after visiting Taiwan. Do they have those kind of restrictions as we did about South Africa? Don’t know… Then Korea and Japan… then L.A.
North America, Canada, South America, then on to Africa then Europe.
Then in Amsterdam I’d meet a highly successful diamond smuggler who falls hopelessly in love with me, head over heels and all that. We’d get shacked up for a while, then he gets caught and thrown into prison and I’d move on to Paris to meet a painter who should have stuck to his day job. He’d whisper incomprehensible words of love and it’d take me two months to realise that he really wanted my money, which is not a lot due to the currency exchange and all… but day job, remember? I’d scoff at his face and rip all his paintings coz’ they weren’t good enough to sell anyway.
Of course by this time I’d expect to be seriously fit from all the walking I’d been doing.
Then there’s the small matter of the second heir to the British Empire chasing my skirt but since British men are crap in bed, I’d run to Denmark to burn down their Carlsberg factory. Never say I’m not patriotic…
In Spain I’d eat bulls testicles, in Rome I’d eat Caesar’s salad, in Greece I’d eat Greek lamb. I’d dance the barynya in Russia, kiss a koala bear in Australia and have… err fun with cows in New Zealand. I’d hunt down the best nasi padang in Indonesia.
Then I’d return to Malaysia and two days later I’d be robbed and stabbed and left to die… you know, coz’ things never really change.
Maybe it’s lucky that I do not have a million dollars.
Oh alright, give me two million then.
*Post inspired by Terry and Galvin.
Tags: fantasies, millionaire
Cow tipping!!!
Very expensive cow tipping.
Unless it’s the other thing they do with cows. Kinky.
If I had a million dollars I would donate all of it. To the Joe Rodrigo Gallivanting Fund.
I reckon the real reason you’d burn down the Carlsberg factory is because you prefer Hoegaarden. Plus they sponsor Liverpool FC.
Suanie:
eyeris gonna smack you
You’ll also get the instant perks of a million dollars. Instant friends, just add some hot cash heheheheh.
that’s what u get for burning Carlsberg factory!
DIE!!! muahaha..
Suanie:
they can always rebuild what… not like I am planning to burn down the one in Shah Alam…
If I got a million, I will do what you want to do but I won’t brundown carlsberg. I will drink to cheers.
if i had a million dollars, I ain’t telling nobody.
’seeing as how I don’t plan to get shackled for a good many years.’
So, all potential BF’s need to leave the handcuffs at home for sex games? Or did I just totally misunderstand that??
[Of course Cat5 cable doesn't leave any bruising or damage the skin much ... um ... not that I've used it ... except for networking computers!]
‘… the master bedroom soundproofed.’
So … there will still be games of some sort … why do I have flashbacks of Tomcats, with the Librarian and The Scarlet Letter!!!!
‘Then Vietnam, Taiwan, then Hong Kong, then China,’
Think it out the other way round … go to China, THEN Hong Kong, then Taiwan. [maybe chuck Vietnam in between Hong Kong and Taiwan too, just to get some distance between China and Taiwan!]
‘I’d move on to Paris to meet a painter who should have stuck to his day job.’
OH, So now I was supposed to have stuck to my DAY JOB???? And I have to go to Paris!!! I told you FLORENCE! We’re going to FLORENCE! Ptttthhhh!
‘He’d whisper incomprehensible words of love ‘
Wooops, I was practicing muttering incomprehensible inane comments! Darn!
‘it’d take me two months to realise that he really wanted my money’
Wooops, am I so transparent!!!! I better gird my loins! It’s going to be a Tchaikovsky kind of Paris this year!
‘I’d scoff at his face and rip all his paintings’
You can rip through CANVAS? You’re strong! And stop scoffing at me … not my fault I am evil Bender sort of a painter!
‘they weren’t good enough to sell anyway.’
My paintings weren’t good enough! Pttthhh! When did you become an art critic!??
’second heir to the British Empire chasing my skirt’
He wants to wear your skirt? Kinky!!! He has my vote (as long as he’s all for Australia becoming a Republic!)
’since British men are crap in bed’
I’m sure you know a few British men who might feel a little insulted by that!!!!!
‘I’d run to Denmark to burn down their Carlsberg factory.’
Yes, lets burn all the Beer Making factories and replace them with SCOTCH factories!
[Actually, I think technically, they're not factories but distillaries ... but who cares as long as they keep making that wonderful Stuff!]
‘in Rome I’d eat Caesar’s salad’
Why? It was invented in MEXICO!!!!
‘kiss a koala bear in Australia’
URGH! You tourist!!! They are KOALA’s!!! NOT BEARS!!!! How many times must we tell you that! They’re realted to WOMBATS!!! You don’t call Wombats Wombears!!!!
[Also, watch out for Drop Bears! hee hee!]
‘Oh alright, give me two million then.’
I’ve got a better idea … let’s do the Brewsters Millions thing!
You have to spend $30 Million in 30 Days in order to inherit $300 Million … okay try it, 30 days, $30 million, NONE of the $30 Mill is allowed to be left and you can’t tell anyone what you’re doing.
I can’t remember the amounts which can be given away, or gambled, or lost on the stock exchange … but, let’s assume it isn’t much. [I think it was something like 5%].
OKAY, 30 days! GO!!!!!
Suanie:
$300 mil is too much money for me btw
I know about Caesar’s
But… but… but… one million dollars is not enough to do all of those things!
Suanie:
eh with careful planning, it’s do-able
don’t think there’s such restriction la.
alot of people travel to n fro china-taiwan for businesses daily n all.
china is not anti taiwan.. there r people in taiwan who’s for reunification.:)
Suanie:
I don’t know mah…
“shacked up”??! hehe so oldskool
Suanie:
like leg shackled
“…since British men are crap in bed”
WHAT!!!
Where’s your evidence?
Just check out these figures (from the most recent Durex Global Sex Survey – as published on their web site)
•The British spend the most time on foreplay (22.5 minutes), followed closely by the Germans (22.2), the Irish (21.8) and the Spanish (21.7)
•The Thais spend the least amount of time (11.5 minutes), followed by those in Hong Kong (14.2) and the Vietnamese (15.2)
For the record – Malaysians spend an average of 16.6 minutes on foreplay.
At least we put the time in, that’s got to count for something
Suanie:
oO touche
YEAH WE ROCK TBH!
Stop spreading the hate.
Ringgggrrrrrrrrringgggggggriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg , wake up , it’s time to school !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No Type R wheelchair for me?
Suanie:
that would be my first priority. and it’d be red in colour
You forgot to add Minnesota on your list
Suanie:
*scribbles*
No dreaming man. Make it a reality! Join the HSBC Millionaire Challenge at thier website hsbc.com.my and if u do win, i say we share teh tarek somewhere
i mean a lifetime of teh tarek for me 
Suanie:
hahahaha we can have teh tarik anytime, with or without a million buckeroos
Suanie - $300 Mil is what you get if yu spend the $30 Mil in 30 days …
You can never have too much money. Think of the people you can help with it.
Suanie:
the Save Dabido fund?
didnt know the serve Caesar in Rome - hehehehehe!
Suanie:
me neither
Oh Suanie, I forgot to mention this … PAYBACK Um … I mean, I tagged you a little! Hee hee!
stop dreaming ya..
what if… what if you had a taste of real Carlsberg (instead of produce of Shah Alam) and decided that it was actually not too bad??
*radical*
Suanie:
hmmm beer for thought
Just in case… here’s the link to my dream wheelchair: http://www.spinlife.com/critpath/spec.cfm?productID=77889
The save Dabido fund is just paying FA not to kill him … isn’t it?
Nah we’re onli restricted in Israel, but if u have a special visa(can get it from the Jordanian embassy) u can still enter for business or religious purposes.