my first diy bookshelf

I decided that I need a bookshelf so I bought one of those DIY shelf in Carrefour. It was kind of heavy for a small lickle girl like me to carry it all the way home. Luckily they do home delivery for free, so I got my shelf the next day.

But they don’t do assembling which is the mighty sienness. I was going to wait for Horng and KY to help me put the pieces together, then I thought fuck it, I’ll actually do it myself.

And so I did. Of course, I’d never done anything of this sort save for jigsaw puzzles, first time for everything and all that.

DIY Bookshelf 01

The instructions left little to the imagination though some thinking are required.

DIY Bookshelf 02

Putting things in already, so excited!!!

DIY Bookshelf 03

Slowly from this…

DIY Bookshelf 04

to this…

DIY Bookshelf 05

It’s starting to come together, though a little crooked but there’s nothing a woman can’t fix.

Then slip this and that in…

DIY Bookshelf 06

… and hammer in the nails!

DiY Bookshelf 07

This was my first door, yay! Momentous indeed!

DIY Bookshelf 08

Three doors down…

DIY Bookshelf 09

… and ta-dah!!! It’s done, it’s assembled, congratulations it’s a bookshelf!

DIY Bookshelf 10

In the big picture of life and the universe, it was not all that tough though the damn thing was heavy as heck but still I’m so proud of it and now I feel that I can do anything, anything at all! First step bookshelf, next comes world domination.

Ph33R!!!!!

scums are for the dumps

I hate poor people.

It is said that you can’t help being born; while that is sadly the undeniable truth, it doesn’t stop people like me from looking down on you with contempt and disgust. Some environmentalists say that being poor is not necessarily a bad thing, less consumer goods and less plastic used and stuff like that. There was no study done on this, I just made it up on the spot as a lame justification for the existence of poor people.

However, if someone says he steals because he is poor, would his or her actions be justified? Certainly not. Theft is still a crime and we put assorted bastards in jail to be ass-fucked by hardcore inmates for much less than that. In some countries, they chop your hand off at a public square as punishment. Yeowch.

I henceforth assume that poor people are the scums of the universe. I can make this assumption because:
1. I am not poor and therefore not part of the scums-of-the-universe agenda. You cannot be poor and NOT a scum, and
2. Too many countries are bogged down by trying to improve the lives of poor people and in the process, hindering the country’s progress. The money could see better investments in other areas, hence poor people are a menace to the tax-paying non-scum society. If you like my image association, you can check out my newly published book, titled “How to be a Self-Righteous Prick and Get Away With It”.

Why stop here? While I am at it, I would like to point out that there are other scums, while some are not poor they are still a menace to society irregardless. Like fat people. Did you not realise that your gravity-succumbing butt could take up the whole bench of a bus stop? If the pink mini buses are still in operation, you can forget about your ride and get a truck ‘cos if you’re gonna look like one…

What about ugly people? Fundamentally they function the same ways as the rest of us, only physically more horrifying. The problem we have is this: an ugly person reasons in the only way s/he can reason as an irresponsible living organism, that everyone decides for him or herself what is ugly or not ugly, according to his/her own free well. Having said that, this free will of thinking does not necessarily exist, for having being put in a container of such that the free will may not be present in the first place. A summary of the Zen-like crap that I just wrote is this: ugly people may think that it is okay to be ugly because everyone’s got his or her own opinions, and continue living life as a near social outcast.

People, this is just plain wrong.

We were all born ugly, that much I admit. Putting aside emotional stakes, who has seen a beautiful wrinkly new-born before? They were all born crinkly, beetroot reddish, covered in all sorts of unspeakable fluid; pretty much traumatising. But while most of us grow past that stage, some people remain stuck in the time warp of hideousness. I don’t sympathise with their situation because in our world today, there are SO many things one could do to rectify the God-given deformities, plastic surgery for example. All in all, there is no valid justification for ugliness except the irresponsibility of ugly people who blatantly disregard public’s sensitivity. Scums.

On the same subject of physical deformity, what about handicapped people eh? Oh boy, these people sure like to blame their genetic makeup for everything that goes wrong, don’t they? Or a mishap, wrong place wrong time wrong action. Then because of their desire to regain something they have lost (or never had in the first place), they attempt to mix in with the rest of us normal folks. I am risking life, limb (pun intended) and reputation by saying this: handicap goes against fundamental wisdom. Why? Handicap people seek to impart illogical ‘wisdom’ as if to make them more acceptable. This is similar to making up excuses for peeing in your bed, “Oh but I couldn’t help it”. Look past the excuse and you’ll see the elementary point – you just couldn’t hold it! Either that or we should start research to creating a new breed of human who can hold their bladder no matter how long.

But handicap is accepted because of moral stuff, which is a way of saying that other people feel bad for being perfect. In fact, they know that they are holding back progress and development because we have to wait for them to catch up, if ever. What do they expect, make time stand still, the world waits while they huff and puff their way along? Waste of resources, waste of time, waste of energy and everything in between. Scums.

Humanity or Forced Accommodation?

You know what? That headline above has nothing to do with the rest of what I am going to say. But it looks good, it is catchy and in today’s extremely competitive blogosphere, we ALL want to catch the reader’s attention, don’t we?

So it’s staying.

Unfortunately my brain is a tad slushed from all the Coke I’m drinking, so I do not have a nice, lengthy, grammatically correct, bombastical quote from some professional journal or research or whatchamallit that I can pass off as a sorry excuse for this post. But here’s one for the most fleeting of inspirational moments:

Bite me.

I say what I mean but I don’t mean what I say, in the process bypassing the rest of you politically-correct wannabes who hide beneath the thin veil of free speech and expression. If you even sub-consciously think you are right and everyone else wrong, be straightforward and call a spade a spade. The rest are fluff aesthetics and frankly an insult to ethics, journalistic or otherwise.

But you know, whatever.

===================================
SUANIE is the CEO, publisher, Zeus, God, Buddha, Yahweh and Supreme Leader of Suanie.net. All your base are belong to her kthxbai.

I dedicate this post to the atheist-loving members and those at the helm of theCICAK. Sucks to be you.

tgif for food and fun

TGIF at Seksyen 14 has great customer service. The floor manager albeit a bit Chef Wan-like, was friendly and helpful. A far cry from the manager at Bangsar’s Chili’s. The customer may not be always right, but as a manager you could do much much better instead of indignantly insisting that Chili’s policies have always been such and every other Chili’s branch in KL/PJ is wrong.

TGIF food
Clockwise: Chicken wings in garlic and chilli lemon-ish sauce, Jack Daniels chicken, chocolate fudge cake, ultimate long island.

We are not unreasonable people. But if it is true that Chili’s policy is that a vodka orange and a screwdriver are different entities, then I have to say that they definitely know a lot more than the rest of us minions.

TGIF fun
Clockwise: Carol the joker, Fireangel the joker, Carol and Fireangel the jokers, KY the joker.

I still have the bill to remind me of the most ridiculously hilarious incident that happened to me this year (not in a good way), maybe I should frame it.

More on my last visit at Bangsar’s Chili’s (if I can help it): Kimberlycun

if i were a pencipta lirik in malay

A duet, naturally.

Male:
Awak banyak lawa
Saya sangat suka
Mari pegang tangan
Hingga di tapak kayangan

Female:
Awak banyak hensem
Muka macam Beckham
Badan tegap tongkat tak layu
Inilah laki yang saya mahu

Chorus, together:
Bisik senyum ketawa
Sampai tua-tua
Tak kira apa jua
‘Ngan you sorang sahaja.

Female:
Bila dah beranak sepuluh
Berat badan naik berkilo-kilo
Nak jalan pun susah
Peha bergesek teruk

Male:
Berat tetap berat
Sayang tetap sayang
Asal boleh jilat
Tak ‘yah buat wayang

Chorus, together:
Bisik senyum ketawa
Sampai tua-tua
Tak kira apa jua
‘Ngan you sorang sahaja..

‘Ngan you sorang sahaja..
‘Ngan you sorang sahajaaaaaa….

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

So how? Can I quit my day job now?

hair today, gone tomorrow

My friend Peter Tan has finally decided to do the inevitable, this time for charity in aid of the Penang Hospice-At-Home Programme (under the National Cancer Society of Malaysia).

Peter Tan - Hair for Hospice charity

PETER’S GONNA GET A HAIR CUT!!!

It’s about time anyway, goodness knows how much grief we’ve given him about it. Admittedly it adds to his rock star-like allure, but hair that long’s got to be a bitch. And I’m a female, I can’t have guys having hair longer than mine! I mean, WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?

Inane jealousy aside, I’m all for Peter doing a good deed for society. Heaven knows we need more pro-crazy-stunts-for-charity people like him to make the rest of us feel better about ourselves that at least, SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.

Peter says:

I am pledging to shave my head to raise RM5,000.00 for the Penang Hospice-At-Home-Programme. This is removing forty two months worth of uncut hair from my scalp. I have invariably grown attached to them after so many years. It has become part of me, a distinct identity that I have come to be associated with. However, this is all for a cause that I strongly believe in. It is worth the sacrifice.

Because…

It costs RM31 for a palliative care nurse from the Hospice to visit a patient at home. The RM5,000.00 will be able to support 161 home visits. This is only a fraction of the RM290,000.00 that was spent in the year 2004 for such visits. Patients are not charged for these visits and neither are they obliged to reciprocate in any other way. This is truly service from the heart, and one of the great examples of human compassion at its best.

Three other bloggers have decided to shave it all alongside Peter for this worthy cause. By the end of October if the donation gets up to RM5,000, buangmasa.net, Bryan and Sharizal will also sport the Yul Brynner look, albeit not as sexy but still distinctive.

So if you would like to help make the world a better place, feel very free to support or donate to this charity drive – make Peter cut his hair!!! More info can be found at Peter’s blog, info on how to donate here.

It’s gonna look so good, you wouldn’t believe it.

For a mere fraction of a moment I was thinking about going bald in support of Peter the blogbuster. It would be something new, something different, and could perhaps generate a lil’ bit more something seeing that I am a chick. Then R said I would look like an Asian Sugar Lee Hooper.

Suanie vs Lee Hoopers
Separated at birth?

Or people might actually donate money for me NOT to shave my head. I don’t know… what do you think?