Archives for October 2005

can somebody shut her up already?

The Pink Poodle said:

Woah, woah! HOLD ON DUDE. You mean only handicapped people can use handicapped toilets?

How come people have this notion that only the disabled can use facilities for the disabled?

So tell me … our government spent millions of taxpayers’ money to build so many facilities for the physically disabled, and only they are allowed to use it?

Oh, excuse me for going down the slope instead of the stairs, will you? I shouldn’t have. MRT lifts – don’t use it, cannot use it. Use the escalator instead.

WTF is this?

Sure, if I SEE that you are physically disabled, and you need to use the handicapped toilet, then yes, obviously I will let you use it and go use a normal toilet.

As far as I am concerned, you have a physical disability – and that is where you have a disadvantage. Your bladder is working fine isn’t it? So you wait, just like normal people do, when there is a queue for the toilet. The rest of us queue up to use a toilet – I don’t see why the disabled should be any different.

Don’t even go near the issue of handicapped parking lots. That is different, because waiting for a parking lot is not a matter of 2 minutes.

Pissed with unreasonable people. What pisses me off more is when the society at large condones bad behavior when it comes from supposedly piteous people. So what, handicapped have the rights to be unreasonable meh? If I ever break my leg (choy!) I think I shall use my crutch to anyhow whack anyone who comes near my MRT lift.

Ranked by Technorati at 43 as of Oct 17th 2005 with 6,951 links from 3,399 sites and people still argue that because it’s her blog, she can write whatever she wants and she has no responsibility towards society and the younger generation.

Yeah whatever, send me to Pluto too while you are at it.

Thought to self, stop self-punishing by avoiding goddamn awful material.

saturdays are never good for me

Believe you me, I had one of the shittiest Saturdays a lower middle class nobody like me could ever have. This goes way beyond the usual laments of why my mom didn’t hook up with Bill Gates or why a tall, intelligent and smart man considered good looking by all strata of society possessing half of Rocco’s bread and butter wouldn’t deign to look at me at all. This shit is real.

Went to work all sick and woozy and dainty from this miserable flu I’ve had the past couple days… oh yes I know that I am the least likely dainty of all dainty people but the feeling of light-headedness is so whoosh and makes me feel like I’m floating and not as heavy or rough as I normally am and makes me feel like Kate Moss sans coke. See, it’s giving me illusions already.

Didn’t make me feel better when Abang N and I realised that this month’s stars are fubar for me. Chinese metaphysics can be cruel like that.

When I got home, I switched my pc on and of course I couldn’t get connected to the Internet, the DSL light on my modem kept blinking, nevermind that everything was fine and dandy before I went to work.

So I called Streamyx to check if there was any service interruption in my area. Some nice chick took my call, went through the standard troubleshooting ritual with me and asked if I would like to make a report to which I said I would call back later if I still couldn’t get connected. At this point I also found out that the Streamyx helpline is now 24 hours, yay!

Then I drove out to my local pc shop to collect a couple of modems I’d sent for service. I also bought a network card and a network cable, just in case.

Came back, replaced my network card and cable with the new ones, tried using my ‘new’ modems, still nothing worked.

Called Streamyx again, they confirmed that my account was fine and that there was no service interruption in my area, so I made a report. I asked them if they had an alternative number to Telekom’s 100, they didn’t.

You see, Telekom has this standard number – 100 for fault reporting and it’s the only number you get from their website, bill statement etc which you can only call from a house phone or a public phone. Which kind of defies logic and puts you in a catch-22 situation – there’s something wrong with your phone line, you want to call up Telekom to make a report but you can’t because there’s only the 100 number and you can’t call out from your house phone because it’s faulty… Is it weird or have I been missing out on something for all the years I am subscribed to Telekom’s fixed line?

Anyway my house phone has been out-of-order for a bit and I couldn’t be bothered to go get a new set so of course, I couldn’t call the 100 number. At this point I decided to call MAXIS because- hey I am using their service and if I can’t call 100 directly from their line there’d better be something else I could do, save for jumping into a lake.

I called MAXIS’s 123 – I realised that they killed the option to ‘speak to someone, anyone for any freakish out-of-the-world incidents that you feel is necessary for MAXIS to know out of the millions of people in the world’. So I picked the most remotely connected option that is fault reporting because it is someone’s fault that I can’t call 100 directly from my MAXIS mobile. Some female half-heartedly listened as I tried to explain what I wanted, then impatiently insisted that I could call 100 direct from my MAXIS mobile line, which I disputed and said I tried it before, I could call 103 but not 100, she said that I could call 100 and 103 and 103 works, ffs I KNOW that 103 works but that’s not the reason I called, no no you CAN call 100 direct bla bla yadda yadda bye.

I called 103 and this really nice female told me that I can’t call 100 from my mobile but she has an alternative number that I could call. So I did, and this really nice male checked my Telekom fixed line status and told me that everything is fine, there’s no problems with it whatsoever. You know the world is changing when the people at Telekom treat you much better than at MAXIS.

Next thing I wanted to know was if it’s normal for the DSL line to be blinking on my modem even after I unplugged the phone line. KY didn’t know for sure, so I called up my local pc shop – they’d sold me all my modems and solved more than half my pc problems so they should know at least something, or that was what I thought. Some chick didn’t understand what I was talking about, and passed the phone to a guy I know and the conversation went something like this:

me: I just want to know if it is normal for the DSL light on my Aztech modem to be blinking even after I took out the phone line.

pc shop guy: You have to check with Streamyx first if there’s any problem with your connection and if there’s no problem you can bring the modem for us to check.

me: Yah I know but there’s no problem, I just want to know if it is normal for the DSL light on my Aztech modem to be blinking even after I disconnected the phone line.

pc shop guy: Yalar you have to check with Streamyx first if there’s any problem with your connection and if there’s no problem you can bring the modem for us to check.

me: Yes yes I know I have to check with Streamyx but do you know if it’s normal for an Aztech modem or any modem’s DSL light to be continuously blinking even after the phone line is not connected?

pc shop guy: That’s what I said, you have to check with Streamyx first to see if there’s any problem with your connection, then if there’s no problem you bring the modem for us to check la.

I was feeling damn sick and woozy and didn’t think I could drive especially with my car’s air conditioning unit’s history fucked beyond imagination, so I called and asked KY if he could drive me the shop which normally closes at 7 p.m. He picked me and my three Aztech modems + 2 adapters + one network cable up, we reached the shop at 6.03 p.m. to find it closed. Some dude who for some reason was standing downstairs told us that the shop closes at 7 p.m. on weekdays and at 6 p.m. on Saturdays. Apparently they had all just left like a minute ago.

Went to KY’s crib, was supposed to join them for dinner but was so exhausted and sickly that I slept on his bed for 3 hours. KY then sent me home and I’d left my purse in his car which caused me quite a bit of distress the next day before I called him to check.

And seeing that I could get on-line now (not really stable though), it must be a connection problem and has nothing to do with my modem.

Sunday was quite alright seeing that I pretty much slept it through.

Saturday just totally sucked.

Of course there would be people who had shittier Saturdays like having a tree fell on their cars causing their pure breed such severe emotional distress that it ran out and proceed to doggy fuck the first stray mutt it sees, or during a weekend contemplation realise that you are doomed for bad sex and spinsterhood for the rest of your life, or finding out that you have an incurable affliction that strikes 1 out of 1000000 people… whatever, get your own blog.

more fireangel… again

Sometimes in life when you want to do the most narcissistic stunts, you’d call your friends right? Takkan you call your parents or assorted weird relatives; the former is to give you money until forever you grow up, the latter is to ask you when is your turn when you grow up.

The Stunt is at minishorts’, I only want to ride on the tailcoats of her fame show you some photos which I like, some of which I edited using Picasa. Photoshop in my hands becomes like the coagulated fat on my arse.

Without flash the photos from my camera are a tad grainy, and when you upload it to Flickr it becomes more grainy. Life sucks like that.

Here goes.

Fireangel photoshoot 01
Wouldn’t you love to gaze into her eyes?

Fireangel photoshoot 02
Or just jump on her if you are so inclined that way?

Fireangel photoshoot 03
Waiting for her prince to come.

Fireangel photoshoot 04
This photo was cropped upon request… hehehe.

Fireangel photoshoot 05
Sigh I do take most wonderful photos.

Fireangel photoshoot 06
I just like the effects on this. A bit like old school, I think.

Fireangel photoshoot 07
This is FireAngel saying hi.

Fireangel photoshoot 08
Arwen ears are cute.

Fireangel photoshoot 09
We told her to stop posing and just be natural, her best angles. Of course it worked. A lot of nice photos of her like this one was taken without her knowledge.

Fireangel photoshoot 10
And another.

Fireangel photoshoot 11
And another.

Fireangel raping the camera
Please date her before she eats KY’s camera.

Fireangel with KY
Fireangel with n00b photographer.

Suanie with Fireangel
Fireangel with l337 photographer.

We are pimping her here and here. Please show your love generously kthxbai.

my first diy bookshelf

I decided that I need a bookshelf so I bought one of those DIY shelf in Carrefour. It was kind of heavy for a small lickle girl like me to carry it all the way home. Luckily they do home delivery for free, so I got my shelf the next day.

But they don’t do assembling which is the mighty sienness. I was going to wait for Horng and KY to help me put the pieces together, then I thought fuck it, I’ll actually do it myself.

And so I did. Of course, I’d never done anything of this sort save for jigsaw puzzles, first time for everything and all that.

DIY Bookshelf 01

The instructions left little to the imagination though some thinking are required.

DIY Bookshelf 02

Putting things in already, so excited!!!

DIY Bookshelf 03

Slowly from this…

DIY Bookshelf 04

to this…

DIY Bookshelf 05

It’s starting to come together, though a little crooked but there’s nothing a woman can’t fix.

Then slip this and that in…

DIY Bookshelf 06

… and hammer in the nails!

DiY Bookshelf 07

This was my first door, yay! Momentous indeed!

DIY Bookshelf 08

Three doors down…

DIY Bookshelf 09

… and ta-dah!!! It’s done, it’s assembled, congratulations it’s a bookshelf!

DIY Bookshelf 10

In the big picture of life and the universe, it was not all that tough though the damn thing was heavy as heck but still I’m so proud of it and now I feel that I can do anything, anything at all! First step bookshelf, next comes world domination.


scums are for the dumps

I hate poor people.

It is said that you can’t help being born; while that is sadly the undeniable truth, it doesn’t stop people like me from looking down on you with contempt and disgust. Some environmentalists say that being poor is not necessarily a bad thing, less consumer goods and less plastic used and stuff like that. There was no study done on this, I just made it up on the spot as a lame justification for the existence of poor people.

However, if someone says he steals because he is poor, would his or her actions be justified? Certainly not. Theft is still a crime and we put assorted bastards in jail to be ass-fucked by hardcore inmates for much less than that. In some countries, they chop your hand off at a public square as punishment. Yeowch.

I henceforth assume that poor people are the scums of the universe. I can make this assumption because:
1. I am not poor and therefore not part of the scums-of-the-universe agenda. You cannot be poor and NOT a scum, and
2. Too many countries are bogged down by trying to improve the lives of poor people and in the process, hindering the country’s progress. The money could see better investments in other areas, hence poor people are a menace to the tax-paying non-scum society. If you like my image association, you can check out my newly published book, titled “How to be a Self-Righteous Prick and Get Away With It”.

Why stop here? While I am at it, I would like to point out that there are other scums, while some are not poor they are still a menace to society irregardless. Like fat people. Did you not realise that your gravity-succumbing butt could take up the whole bench of a bus stop? If the pink mini buses are still in operation, you can forget about your ride and get a truck ‘cos if you’re gonna look like one…

What about ugly people? Fundamentally they function the same ways as the rest of us, only physically more horrifying. The problem we have is this: an ugly person reasons in the only way s/he can reason as an irresponsible living organism, that everyone decides for him or herself what is ugly or not ugly, according to his/her own free well. Having said that, this free will of thinking does not necessarily exist, for having being put in a container of such that the free will may not be present in the first place. A summary of the Zen-like crap that I just wrote is this: ugly people may think that it is okay to be ugly because everyone’s got his or her own opinions, and continue living life as a near social outcast.

People, this is just plain wrong.

We were all born ugly, that much I admit. Putting aside emotional stakes, who has seen a beautiful wrinkly new-born before? They were all born crinkly, beetroot reddish, covered in all sorts of unspeakable fluid; pretty much traumatising. But while most of us grow past that stage, some people remain stuck in the time warp of hideousness. I don’t sympathise with their situation because in our world today, there are SO many things one could do to rectify the God-given deformities, plastic surgery for example. All in all, there is no valid justification for ugliness except the irresponsibility of ugly people who blatantly disregard public’s sensitivity. Scums.

On the same subject of physical deformity, what about handicapped people eh? Oh boy, these people sure like to blame their genetic makeup for everything that goes wrong, don’t they? Or a mishap, wrong place wrong time wrong action. Then because of their desire to regain something they have lost (or never had in the first place), they attempt to mix in with the rest of us normal folks. I am risking life, limb (pun intended) and reputation by saying this: handicap goes against fundamental wisdom. Why? Handicap people seek to impart illogical ‘wisdom’ as if to make them more acceptable. This is similar to making up excuses for peeing in your bed, “Oh but I couldn’t help it”. Look past the excuse and you’ll see the elementary point – you just couldn’t hold it! Either that or we should start research to creating a new breed of human who can hold their bladder no matter how long.

But handicap is accepted because of moral stuff, which is a way of saying that other people feel bad for being perfect. In fact, they know that they are holding back progress and development because we have to wait for them to catch up, if ever. What do they expect, make time stand still, the world waits while they huff and puff their way along? Waste of resources, waste of time, waste of energy and everything in between. Scums.

Humanity or Forced Accommodation?

You know what? That headline above has nothing to do with the rest of what I am going to say. But it looks good, it is catchy and in today’s extremely competitive blogosphere, we ALL want to catch the reader’s attention, don’t we?

So it’s staying.

Unfortunately my brain is a tad slushed from all the Coke I’m drinking, so I do not have a nice, lengthy, grammatically correct, bombastical quote from some professional journal or research or whatchamallit that I can pass off as a sorry excuse for this post. But here’s one for the most fleeting of inspirational moments:

Bite me.

I say what I mean but I don’t mean what I say, in the process bypassing the rest of you politically-correct wannabes who hide beneath the thin veil of free speech and expression. If you even sub-consciously think you are right and everyone else wrong, be straightforward and call a spade a spade. The rest are fluff aesthetics and frankly an insult to ethics, journalistic or otherwise.

But you know, whatever.

SUANIE is the CEO, publisher, Zeus, God, Buddha, Yahweh and Supreme Leader of All your base are belong to her kthxbai.

I dedicate this post to the atheist-loving members and those at the helm of theCICAK. Sucks to be you.

if i were a pencipta lirik in malay

A duet, naturally.

Awak banyak lawa
Saya sangat suka
Mari pegang tangan
Hingga di tapak kayangan

Awak banyak hensem
Muka macam Beckham
Badan tegap tongkat tak layu
Inilah laki yang saya mahu

Chorus, together:
Bisik senyum ketawa
Sampai tua-tua
Tak kira apa jua
‘Ngan you sorang sahaja.

Bila dah beranak sepuluh
Berat badan naik berkilo-kilo
Nak jalan pun susah
Peha bergesek teruk

Berat tetap berat
Sayang tetap sayang
Asal boleh jilat
Tak ‘yah buat wayang

Chorus, together:
Bisik senyum ketawa
Sampai tua-tua
Tak kira apa jua
‘Ngan you sorang sahaja..

‘Ngan you sorang sahaja..
‘Ngan you sorang sahajaaaaaa….

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

So how? Can I quit my day job now?

hair today, gone tomorrow

My friend Peter Tan has finally decided to do the inevitable, this time for charity in aid of the Penang Hospice-At-Home Programme (under the National Cancer Society of Malaysia).

Peter Tan - Hair for Hospice charity


It’s about time anyway, goodness knows how much grief we’ve given him about it. Admittedly it adds to his rock star-like allure, but hair that long’s got to be a bitch. And I’m a female, I can’t have guys having hair longer than mine! I mean, WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?

Inane jealousy aside, I’m all for Peter doing a good deed for society. Heaven knows we need more pro-crazy-stunts-for-charity people like him to make the rest of us feel better about ourselves that at least, SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.

Peter says:

I am pledging to shave my head to raise RM5,000.00 for the Penang Hospice-At-Home-Programme. This is removing forty two months worth of uncut hair from my scalp. I have invariably grown attached to them after so many years. It has become part of me, a distinct identity that I have come to be associated with. However, this is all for a cause that I strongly believe in. It is worth the sacrifice.


It costs RM31 for a palliative care nurse from the Hospice to visit a patient at home. The RM5,000.00 will be able to support 161 home visits. This is only a fraction of the RM290,000.00 that was spent in the year 2004 for such visits. Patients are not charged for these visits and neither are they obliged to reciprocate in any other way. This is truly service from the heart, and one of the great examples of human compassion at its best.

Three other bloggers have decided to shave it all alongside Peter for this worthy cause. By the end of October if the donation gets up to RM5,000,, Bryan and Sharizal will also sport the Yul Brynner look, albeit not as sexy but still distinctive.

So if you would like to help make the world a better place, feel very free to support or donate to this charity drive – make Peter cut his hair!!! More info can be found at Peter’s blog, info on how to donate here.

It’s gonna look so good, you wouldn’t believe it.

For a mere fraction of a moment I was thinking about going bald in support of Peter the blogbuster. It would be something new, something different, and could perhaps generate a lil’ bit more something seeing that I am a chick. Then R said I would look like an Asian Sugar Lee Hooper.

Suanie vs Lee Hoopers
Separated at birth?

Or people might actually donate money for me NOT to shave my head. I don’t know… what do you think?