scums are for the dumps
I hate poor people.
It is said that you can’t help being born; while that is sadly the undeniable truth, it doesn’t stop people like me from looking down on you with contempt and disgust. Some environmentalists say that being poor is not necessarily a bad thing, less consumer goods and less plastic used and stuff like that. There was no study done on this, I just made it up on the spot as a lame justification for the existence of poor people.
However, if someone says he steals because he is poor, would his or her actions be justified? Certainly not. Theft is still a crime and we put assorted bastards in jail to be ass-fucked by hardcore inmates for much less than that. In some countries, they chop your hand off at a public square as punishment. Yeowch.
I henceforth assume that poor people are the scums of the universe. I can make this assumption because:
1. I am not poor and therefore not part of the scums-of-the-universe agenda. You cannot be poor and NOT a scum, and
2. Too many countries are bogged down by trying to improve the lives of poor people and in the process, hindering the country’s progress. The money could see better investments in other areas, hence poor people are a menace to the tax-paying non-scum society. If you like my image association, you can check out my newly published book, titled “How to be a Self-Righteous Prick and Get Away With It”.
Why stop here? While I am at it, I would like to point out that there are other scums, while some are not poor they are still a menace to society irregardless. Like fat people. Did you not realise that your gravity-succumbing butt could take up the whole bench of a bus stop? If the pink mini buses are still in operation, you can forget about your ride and get a truck ‘cos if you’re gonna look like one…
What about ugly people? Fundamentally they function the same ways as the rest of us, only physically more horrifying. The problem we have is this: an ugly person reasons in the only way s/he can reason as an irresponsible living organism, that everyone decides for him or herself what is ugly or not ugly, according to his/her own free well. Having said that, this free will of thinking does not necessarily exist, for having being put in a container of such that the free will may not be present in the first place. A summary of the Zen-like crap that I just wrote is this: ugly people may think that it is okay to be ugly because everyone’s got his or her own opinions, and continue living life as a near social outcast.
People, this is just plain wrong.
We were all born ugly, that much I admit. Putting aside emotional stakes, who has seen a beautiful wrinkly new-born before? They were all born crinkly, beetroot reddish, covered in all sorts of unspeakable fluid; pretty much traumatising. But while most of us grow past that stage, some people remain stuck in the time warp of hideousness. I don’t sympathise with their situation because in our world today, there are SO many things one could do to rectify the God-given deformities, plastic surgery for example. All in all, there is no valid justification for ugliness except the irresponsibility of ugly people who blatantly disregard public’s sensitivity. Scums.
On the same subject of physical deformity, what about handicapped people eh? Oh boy, these people sure like to blame their genetic makeup for everything that goes wrong, don’t they? Or a mishap, wrong place wrong time wrong action. Then because of their desire to regain something they have lost (or never had in the first place), they attempt to mix in with the rest of us normal folks. I am risking life, limb (pun intended) and reputation by saying this: handicap goes against fundamental wisdom. Why? Handicap people seek to impart illogical ‘wisdom’ as if to make them more acceptable. This is similar to making up excuses for peeing in your bed, “Oh but I couldn’t help it”. Look past the excuse and you’ll see the elementary point - you just couldn’t hold it! Either that or we should start research to creating a new breed of human who can hold their bladder no matter how long.
But handicap is accepted because of moral stuff, which is a way of saying that other people feel bad for being perfect. In fact, they know that they are holding back progress and development because we have to wait for them to catch up, if ever. What do they expect, make time stand still, the world waits while they huff and puff their way along? Waste of resources, waste of time, waste of energy and everything in between. Scums.
Humanity or Forced Accommodation?
You know what? That headline above has nothing to do with the rest of what I am going to say. But it looks good, it is catchy and in today’s extremely competitive blogosphere, we ALL want to catch the reader’s attention, don’t we?
So it’s staying.
Unfortunately my brain is a tad slushed from all the Coke I’m drinking, so I do not have a nice, lengthy, grammatically correct, bombastical quote from some professional journal or research or whatchamallit that I can pass off as a sorry excuse for this post. But here’s one for the most fleeting of inspirational moments:
Bite me.
I say what I mean but I don’t mean what I say, in the process bypassing the rest of you politically-correct wannabes who hide beneath the thin veil of free speech and expression. If you even sub-consciously think you are right and everyone else wrong, be straightforward and call a spade a spade. The rest are fluff aesthetics and frankly an insult to ethics, journalistic or otherwise.
But you know, whatever.
===================================
SUANIE is the CEO, publisher, Zeus, God, Buddha, Yahweh and Supreme Leader of Suanie.net. All your base are belong to her kthxbai.
I dedicate this post to the atheist-loving members and those at the helm of theCICAK. Sucks to be you.
Tags: blogosphere, fubar, omgwtfbbq, parody, sarcasm, the cicak
I am speechless.
Yeah well, I am talented like that
Big boobs are great
Nic.
OH DON’T WE ALREADY KNOW THAT …. wahahahahah.
I love poor poeple, they created the economy of cheap food that’s affordable to them
I love fat people, they make me look slender and sexy
I love ugly people, they make me not hate the mirror
I love handicapped people, some of them lift our spirits by doing stuff like hair for hospice
Who says we were all born ugly? I was a great looking baby! I wuz so good looking the nurses at the hospital got down on their knees and worshipped me. And when the doctor cut the umbilical cord, he tied it in a nice little bow for ne. So, there!
I demand to be included!
Your forgot half-breeds with no singular cultural identity of their own are scum!
I say this based on the fact that EVERYONE knows that half-breeds are mistakes of lust and depravity and are often mistaken for other races/religions/sexualities/fluffy animals!
Thus they are noobs and how can anyone love a half-breed noob!
*sobs silently*
OMFG. OWNED.
someone forgot her meds today!
SUANIE is the CEO, publisher, Zeus, God, Buddha, Yahweh, Jupiter, Shiva, Amun-Ra, The Great Eye, Mother Superior, Grand Dominatrix and Supreme Leader of Suanie.net.
All hail!
I just hate fat people.
Kthxbai.
Holy Shit. Holy Mother of God!!!!!!! I thought I was evil enough posting all that shit in my blog. But you.. you clearly gave a new definition to the phrase shamelessly evil.
May God have mercy on your soul, gurl, for no one else will. Bad blog entry. Bad, bad blog entry. (Honest, yes. So I respect that above all. But definitely vile and evil)
Ya! and there goes the famous quote:
You are so fat that when you where the Malcom X t-shirt, a helicopter lands on you.
it’s wear…
Nic: in general, anything bigger is better
minishorts: just thought that people need some reminding
maybe I should have it as a permanent byline
KY: i love you
viewtru: I demand evidence
iesnek: that bad eh
FA: o_O
delia: actually I took them, that was why I could see things clearly
Giant Sotong: bless you
ST: o_O
Leon: I strongly believe in karma too. Bad things happen to people who do not bother clicking on relevant links on this post. Thanks for the good wishes on your blog
Beef Stew: o_O are we talking about the same things here?
That was good…
if someone’s poor, that can afford only bread and thus become fat, and cannot afford SK2 and as a result becomes ugly and kena knocked down by the car suanie’s driving becasue she cannot tahan looking at that fella and finally become retarded…. well….
three cheers for teh suan!!
BWAHAHAHAHAH. Priceless! Priceless!
Leon: for someone who goes ‘May god bla bla’, I wonder what on earth made you swear upon the Good Lord’s name. tsk. tsk.
I’m not exactly very holy myself .. i guess you figured out that part by reading my blog (thanks for droping by, nevertheless).
I still find putting down the less fortunate people rather disgusting, though.
Leon: nah, i think putting down ppl who lack a sense of humour and who misses antenna for clever sarcasm is far more evil, but i’ll put you down anyway. DUH.
I honestly hope you don’t become poor someday..you’d hate yourself and your bloodline. For someone who discriminates, you’re doing a shit job..Consider putting up pics of yourself mingling with Kings and Presidents on your gallery instead of the current bunch you have (no offense to them of course) and what the hell are you doing in this part of the world?
Go live in Monaco! or maybe you can’t cos you’ll be just another poor slut over there.
Hi Suan
I was wondering where you were going with this post and then finally saw who the post is dedicated to …
Very sarcastic. You are the BEST! ;P
zi-zi: omg have u clicked on thecicak link? chill lah
your sarcasm needs more work, kawan. some people did not get it at all… heh
Well, I as a poor, fat, ugly person, I admit I did pee the bed deliberately to keep the women out of it, as I didnt’ see how they could want to sleep with a poor fat ungly person like myself. But the peeing in the bed certainly got rid of them.
And I was going to be handicapped too, but when the Doctor went to cut my foot off, he accidently just circumsized me! It’s a harsh world! What can I say?
Oh, I forgot to add:
I for one welcome our new CEO, publisher, Zeus, God, Buddha, Yahweh, Jupiter, Shiva, Amun-Ra, The Great Eye, Mother Superior, Grand Dominatrix and Supreme Leader Overlord!.
l0ft: I am not that bad a driver k
Leon: yeap
zi-zi: wtf are you on about
derek: thanks
dabido: too… much… information…
eyeris: I can’t please everyone mah. too much hard work.
but you’re right lah. apparently if things are not spelt out A to Z according to KBSR/KBSM style compositions, then I am supposedly a rich partisan bigot, nevermind that they don’t really know anything about me.
so kids, there are many things in life that you can’t choose. the only thing you can choose is how you are going to deal with what you have been given or not given, draw strength from that and show it to the world. and if it’s worth anything, you have my respect.
talk about having to be literal
Too much info? I was just trying to include all that you have in your post!
rofl
well-written satire, no doubt. but a little too close to home.
IS WHAT yOU SAY TO ONE IS WHAT YOU SAY TO ALL FROM THE BEGINING OF TIME HONEST,OR ARE YOU HUST PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME FOR YOUR OWN BENIFIT? ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION.
hey, gal, u caught attentions from reader, rite??
but I wanna ask u why d’ u write such humiliated stuff like this to get attention …. stupid bitch…… …