Archives for September 2005

my msn emoticon love/hate relationship

I am on MSN messenger a lot, I have many friends and online chat buddies there.

It’s nice to use, some of the features are cool, it’s free and I love the animated emoticons. By the way to my MSN buddies, don’t bother nudging me ‘coz I have the shaky thing disabled neh neh neh neh neh.

But if there’s one thing I hate about MSN, it’s the emoticons. Or rather the blatant misuse of something cute and funny.

Too many people are overdoing it, OVERKILL SIAL!!!

For example…

MSN emoticons 01

This is a mild case ok. There was once this friend and I were talking about something more serious, I had to try figure out what the heck she was trying to say with all those inappropriate smileys automatically inserted in mid-sentences.

And this is another friend ‘explaining’ to me some insurance plan:

MSN emoticons 02
MSN emoticons 03

How to read, I ask you?!? Dah lah my Math cannot make it, now have to try overlook the very distracting emoticons.

I seriously don’t understand lah. Please lah people, over killing it is teh sien. Then you wonder why I don’t like chatting with you on MSN.

Because deep down inside, I’d only be going…

MSN emoticons 04

redang was the fun!

So we were at Redang Island for three days and two nights (23-25 Sept). Some of them went for a Project AWARE clean the beach/sea thingy, some of us just went there for the sun, sea and sand.

Redang 2005 16 - Redang beach
Don’t you wish you were there too?

By golly, what fine sand! Even though there were aplenty dead corals washed ashore (and dying corals at the marine park), I’d never felt such soft sand before edited – actually I did, in Sabah but that was a jolly long time ago so I apologise if I can’t remember as many things as I used to 🙁 Penang and Langkawi have nothing like this, NOTHING!

I wore a bikini anyway. Screw your eyes. Bwahahahahaha!

Redang 2005 18 - Suanie
As the saying goes, round is a shape.

The first day we just did some swimming and suntanning. I got sunburn. Yalah, all my fault. But sleeping in the sun feels so goooooood! Of course lah, need to have the perfect environment also… give me the best bed and a million bucks to sleep by the LDP underneath the hot scorching sun for a couple hours… no thank you.

The drinking water where we were was supplied via an underground source… apparently a couple months ago it was alright and normal but when we were there, the water was salt-enhanced… maybe the underground source got kinda screwed up. There was orange juice and Chinese tea at the buffets… so it was sweet+salty orange juice and salty Chinese tea. Just needs getting used to.

We went to the marine park on the second day. What Kim didn’t blog about was that she kena molested by some hamsap guy who brought her around to see what’s swimming in the waters… if he had his way I’m sure he would show her what was swimming in his pants too… luckily she refused to ‘pergi jauh sikit’ (go a bit further).

Then something ridiculously funny happened to ST – I wasn’t there to see it but I’m sure he would tell you later anyway.

Redang 2005 34 - Shaolintiger, KY, Marge, Kim, Suanie
We were like, teh happy… and can ST get a BodyGlove endorsement?

My digicam was quite fucked – I can’t take proper photos whenever there’s sunlight. Don’t know if it’s a technical fault or the design flaw. So yeah, I couldn’t take nice photos under sunlight. Sien.

On the way back to the travel agency’s office in Kuala Terengganu town, we stopped by a roadside stall selling keropok lekor. IT WAS TEH GOOD!!! I SO WANT MORE!!!!!

Then we spent a few hours in town which I’d rather not remember.

So, yeah overall it was fun. But I damn kesian Redang Island… over-commercialised and the dying corals at the marine park quite menyakitkan hati. And the diesel and smoke from the boats and the environment and the everything, you not kesian meh?

I am sentimental like that.

Next time I want to go to Pulau Perhentian.

Full photo set at Flickr here.

Redang trip report by:
Kimberlycun, ShaolinTiger, KY

suanie loves fireangel!

I first got to know her through tBlog. She left a comment on my tBlog, I checked out her now-defunct site, laughed my ass off and the rest is history.

The first time I met her was at Misai’s. She was this petite thing, rather quiet… little did we know that we could not be more wrong…

KY, Horng, Fireangel
Fireangel looking demure with KY and Horny

But she’s fun to be around, she makes swearing a fine art and she can be worse an alkie than all of us combined.

Fireangel reaching out for the ship
Fireangel 30% siao… let’s not go into higher percentage

WE LOVE FIREANGEL!!!

Go support WeLoveFireangel.blogspot.com at WeLoveFireangel.blogspot.com because WeLoveFireangel.blogspot.com!!!

the birthday post, thank you all!

Actually I also don’t know how to begin writing this post, let alone write it all. The best way to start is to do it Suanie-style I guess…

THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Jaime, Janice and I met at Bangsar’s Chillis for our usual happy hour fix, after which we went to Telawi Street Bistro for their superbly delish strawberry iced tea.

Then Jaime suggested that we go bar-hopping… okay… strolled down the main street for a bit and finally entered T-Club, where a lot of birthday celebrations were held…

OMGWTFBBQ!!!

It was seriously a VERY NICE surprise to see Peter, Wuan, Fireangel, Delia, Duncan, Kimberly, ShaolinTiger, KY, Gary & friend (sorry I seriously cannot remember your name at this moment 🙁 ) and my eldest sister Lyanna all sitting at the end corner. Then Eyeris appeared, then later Terence and Saint arrived and much later Chris came by.

Thank you Jaime for doing all this. She said it’s to make up for 4 years of not spending my birthday eve with me… but I think it’s mostly because she loves me so…

I LOVE JAIME!!!

There was beer, lots of it. I got some nice pressies as well.

This is Gary.

24th birthday party - Gary the Devil

And this is Gary hustling me to get even more pissed drunk than I already was.

24th birthday party - Gary fed me more alcohol

This is Delia and Peter. Delia fetched Peter and Wuan from Cheras… thank you sayang!!!

24th birthday party - Delia and Peter Tan

And this is Kimberly using my birthday as an excuse to kiss me. I know she laps me and she wants to kiss me non stop all day all night every hour every minute every second… tee-hee…

24th birthday party - Kim and Suanie

And this is teh KY pretending to look like me.

24th birthday party - KY and Suanie

Me, Peter and Jaime. Peter is a very happy man.

24th birthday party - Suanie, Peter Tan, Jaime

Jaime, me and my sister Lyanna.

24th birthday party - Jaime, Suanie, Lyanna

Me, Kim, ST and Duncan.

24th birthday party - Suanie, Kim, ST, sirbone

Janice, Delia, Chris, me and FA.

24th birthday party - group photo 02

My birthday cake! I LOVE IT!!!

24th birthday party - my birthday cake

I actually remember this moment… They just showed me the cake and they were screaming,”YOU NOOB!!!!”

24th birthday party - all made me drink

Some of the jokers who came… Terence, Eyeris, KY, Saint, FA, Kim, Peter and ST.

24th birthday party - group photo 01

1 full glass and another quarter glass of the foulest tasting Graveyard ever, 3 glasses of beer, 1 tequila shot, 1 Kamikaze (which I thought was some lime juice that Eyeris kindly offered me.. bleahhhhhhh 😛 )… I was quite gone.

24th birthday party - Suanie drunk

Even thinking about it now makes me feel like puking.

The actual day was spent with my sister Ashley at Ikano, she bought me lunch and a couple of very nice skirts… yay!

Thank you all so much… really didn’t expect it… a lot of people called and sent me SMSes and e-mails and comments and messages on my shoutbox… thank you all… tima kasih berbanyak 😀

Kim has a post for me.
KY posted seriously incriminating photos…
Jeemee wrote me a birthday story.
Nic posted a birthday photo of mine from 2 years ago…
Dabido wished me happy birthday.
Peter has some nice things to say about me, and a whole gallery of more incriminating photos…
ST immortalised meh…

MWAHHHH TO EVERYONE!!!!!

nic does the rain dance

We have had quite a dry spell, apparently (again) we are gonna be out of water blah blah unless Heavens bless us with lots of trickles.

O citizens of Malaysia, we are definitely gonna need help. Lots of it.

And yet again I have taken matters into my own hands. Somebody has to, else we would all be crawling on dusty cobble roads with rusty metal tins just BEGGING for a mere drop of kitty’s piss.

No, can’t do, not.at.all.

Enter Nic.

Nicholas does the rain dance 01

Although Nic is in UK, he is very much a philanthropic and he cares for the well-being of his fellow Malaysians, that is you and I. So he decided to pray and ask for help from the unseen powers that be, please oh please give them their daily rain.

Nicholas does the rain dance 02

Didn’t work. Nic was not a happy camper and went, WHY YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME ONE?!?

Nicholas does the rain dance 03

Fuwah, no reply wor. That made Nic angrier and angrier and if it is even possible, angriest.

Nicholas does the rain dance 04

Screw it lah, Nic thought, all these mass organised religions are over rated anyway. We should go back to the nature of our cave-dwelling forefathers, with a slightly updated version of course.

And that was what Nic did.

Nicholas does the rain dance 05

And boy, did he do it!

Nicholas does the rain dance 06

Nicholas does the rain dance 07

Let’s see if it works.

blogbuster peter tan rides into action

When I purchased a copy of the Malay Mail today, I was more than a little tickled pink to see the face of our local hero blogger Encik Peter Tan splashed across the main page.

Peter Tan on the Malay Mail, 160905

I am sure I am not the only one who thinks that it is high time Encik Peter Tan visits his local barber. Unless you find that sort of thing a turn-on, that is. Tee-hee.

OKlah, the issue at hand is quite serious. But you know, since when is Suanie a super duper serious person?

Malay Mail article 01 - 160905

It is about some fella trying to be a smart arse going around various blogs with a very long comment on racial bla bla Malaysia bla bla Malay bla bla Chinese bla bla NEP bla bla. Nothing we have not heard of before. *Yawn*

Malay Mail article 02 - 160905

But if a blog is a representation of our house on cyberspace, this sort of action means that our house is being shitted on. Normally most of us bloggers would just clean up the shit but this time Peter jai has decided that Enough is Enough; the shitter must clean up his own shit, he is tired of buying brooms.

Moral of the story:
1. Your shit stinks.
2. Don’t be a smart ass.
3. Be responsible.
4. That means cleaning up your own shit.
5. Better still, shit in your own home.

All hail Peter the blog-buster!

Peter Tan is the Blog Buster!

He’s so going to kill me now. La la la la la…

Further reading:
Offline by Peter Tan
Peter turns ‘blog-buster’ by Jeff Ooi
Freedom of Speech: The continuing stupidity by Edrei
S’porean bloggers kena-ed the sedition act by yours truly
So you’re getting fucking persecuted by T-Boy

where oh where can my readers be?

Oh there you are! Thank you thank you for still sticking around. While you are at it, want to tell me why you are here? Or if you are even bothered to read this whole long entry? What is it about this blog that keeps you refreshing till my lowly bandwidth gets eaten like carpets by moths? Call it a moment of self-doubt or whatever, but as the primary owner of this blog, I would be most interested to know.

Could it be the photos of my friends far lovelier and hamsap than myself? Or the grammatically -incorrect sentences that make editors reach for the knife to stab themselves with? Perhaps the notion that I am a superior blogger sent by Heavens to set an example for all ye other bloggers with the message – KEEP UP OR KEEP DOWN! Or maybe you lot are seriously bored in the office with nothing else to do?

For the life of me, I can’t imagine why. Not since the article in The Star anyway. Alright, I’m not feeling my best now, but there are also many reasons why I am having this prolonged negative self-esteem moment. If you asked anyone especially Jaime, I am not the most confident person on earth and if you believe in Chinese metaphysics, this month (September) is the testing ground for my self esteem and confidence. I’m already feeling it. By knowing what lies ahead, you are supposed to be able to battle it, but it is a constant uphill climb and when the depressing feeling sweeps you, it hits you like Katrina.

Since I’m so baring my soul right now, might as well tell you how it led to all this. You see, I’m just like you, maybe better or maybe worse. Perhaps different. When I started an Internet ‘life log’ back in 1999 (or early 2000, I can’t remember) I was seriously ranting like the teenage kid that didn’t get the last piece of candy. Everyone sucked. As I grow older, everyone still sucks but to a varying degree. After the big-ass close up shot of my round face on StarTwo (I LOVED IT THANKS) and I supposedly became a ‘famous’ blogger, I learnt a lot – either from self experience of observing other blogs and how they handled their sudden fame etc. Then I learnt that not everyone sucks, it’s just a matter of perspective. For a personal blogger like me who started out with severe generalisation, it’s a major adjustment. For example, I used to think that every teen mother was the bane of earth no matter what – and now I understand that everyone’s situation is different and a country’s social benefits (such as the UK and US) has a lot to do with how people think and deal with life and stuff like that. So now I understand a little better that not everyone in this world can enjoy certain benefits (such as prior understanding and education) like me. And it’s not necessarily their fault. But that sucks too.

Because who wants to read an overly-neutral blog all the time? Not me.

But I’d be doing an injustice to myself if I let assumed-methods-to-garner-blog-popularity consume this blog. Because inasmuch I’m denying it, this blog has been, is now and mostly always be a huge part of myself – not just Suanie but [insert my full name here]. In all these years of trying to keep my blog as personal and myself as I could, I cannot deny that I enjoy the hits and ‘popularity’ especially with our local blog scene still so in its infancy. Better bloggers than myself read my blog and I am always wondering why. Bad taste or I am just lucky as heck?

I bet most of you read the ST vs XX ‘blog war’. Honestly it was really fun. There you go, I can’t lie. I thought ST rocked. But then you may or may not realise it that the whole debacle is a lesson in itself. The overused line of ‘with great powers come great responsibility’, like it or not is damn well true. Alright, a lot of you may not realise it but here’s my story from my point of view.

The StarTwo feature was the massive trigger. It was a light-hearted look at personal bloggers – as you may know, prior to that feature, there was a lot of negativity regarding blogs. I’m not going to start a whole ‘it’s art not pr0n’ debate (though I think it’s tasteful art tyvm). The journalist who did the feature is a blogger himself and since he had the ‘power’ to sort of try tell people the other side of blogs, he did what he did. Of all the four featured bloggers, I felt that I am the most undeserving blogger, mostly because I am a personal blogger and why the heck you want to read about my life, I don’t know but it’s on the Net and it’s out there for the world to see. Therein lies my problem.

(BTW I am not sorry for being one of the featured. Nor anything else that followed. Neh neh neh neh neh)

Then there was this whole outlash about ‘famous’ bloggers and what-not. You know the saying ‘siapa makan cili dialah rasa pedas’? Well that was me. Despite my friends telling me that I am doing good things with my blog and stuff, criticism no matter what always manages to bring me down a notch or ten. That’s my personality – I tend to brood over things too much even if I don’t often say what I feel. Simple tools such as Technorati can find you a lot of things and being the narcissistic self-inflicted overbearing bitch that I sometimes can be, well let’s just say that the results were not always kind. And when people tell me that my blog is great/good/nice etc, I feel like covering myself with mud because I don’t think that I am worthy of all that. But you know what? The most important lesson I learnt that was c’est la vie. That became another problem.

You know how sometimes things can make you an unwilling participant in other things? Bah fuck it with being cryptic.

In the very short period of time since the feature, I was kind of forced to grow up quickly, mostly as a blogger. Eh, I’m not REALLY complaining you know, because this is also in-line with me growing up as a person, entering adulthood (btw it’s my 24th birthday come Sept 22nd hehehe) and I realised the opportunities or rather, the styles I find myself leaning towards. My current most ideal blog personality would be John Scalzi (his link is somewhere on the main page’s right bar) but who am I kidding? I would never be able to write as beautifully as he does. Instead I’m stuck with wanting to stay as personal as I can but too fully aware of the repercussions.

It’s really not fun, you know. With my family reading my blog, I can’t write about very very personal stuff. With my bosses and colleagues reading my blog, I can never bitch about work (not that I really want to, ‘coz actually my job is a dream but there goes the choice). With my close friends reading my blog, I can never bitch about them (bwahahaha). In fact with the government people in power reading blogs, I can never bitch about them (too much) too. As I said there are always two or more sides to a story and I don’t want to commit myself before finding out the truth, but let me tell you this – I envy you bloggers who still have some privacy to write all these thing so close to your heart. I am nearly erupting with green gooey. Krakatoa has never seen anything like me.

So why the fuck I want to put my real name and real photos on my blog, or even let it be featured/ ping-ed/ known/ whored? Aren’t I bloody contradicting myself? Damn bloody two-faced hypocrite! BLAH! OK let me tell you this, inasmuch as it hurts, I BLOODY WELL LOVE THE ATTENTION! And I damn bloody well love it that the attention is reflected back to my blog where I have my real name as well as my photos etc. ‘Writing for myself’ almost never exists – when I write, I write for an (imaginary) audience and I have been doing this forever, even in my work. So right now I’m complaining that much of my privacy has been ‘taken’ away (don’t stop reading this please, I love you) yet I adore the hits, though not as much as other people’s but it’s still all mine. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE! Start another blog with no one knowing who I am? Yeah right, no deal for me. I want my cake and eat it too!

If you are asking, ‘is that so wrong?’ let me just tell you this : yes it is. Most people think that blogs are just blogs and the bloggers should have the freedom to write whatever they want to write. Oh sure, go ahead, don’t let the door of immaturity hit you on the way out.

Freedom of speech is NOT an excuse for irresponsibility. That’s a lesson to be learnt and I sincerely hope that you would not have to learn it the hard way.

So what I’m saying is… I don’t really know what I’m saying. As before I lost the point and the plot somewhere in the middle. But IF I really have to try in order to make this post more coherent, I would say it’s a stage where I am grasping with the fact that I have to be more responsible with a lot of things, yet missing the good ol’ carefree days, yet knowing that growing up with all its bringings is inevitable. Yet… Ahhh the demons, angels, higher demons and higher angels fighting within themselves inside me… you should try it sometime.

Time to hit the sack. This post was brought to you by 4 bottles of Hoegaarden White, 5 cans of Carlsberg and too much incoherent self-reflection at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. Enjoy.