Archives for July 2005

tuesdays are confusing

I want but I don’t want, I want but I don’t want, I want but I don’t want, I want but I don’t want.

I should but I cannot, I should but I cannot, I should but I cannot, I should but I cannot.

Maybe, maybe not, maybe, maybe not, maybe, maybe not.

So I ended up didn’t.

mondays are confuckulated

I have a new word I could use and it’s all thanks to Michael Ooi.


I have no idea what it means. How do con and lated get in the way of fuck? Jaime and I were scratching our heads thinking of possible word integrations and we could only think of these:

conscience fuck
contracted fuckulation
confused and fucked
continuous fuck

Obviously we didn’t scratch for very long because it was a Saturday and we had some shopping to do. But the point is, how do you justify a word so beautiful as confuckulated? Michael?

I mean, I have a penchant for misusing words. It could almost be my trademark. The most obvious word that I regularly misuse is the word gay. Like, ST is not a homosexual but he can be very gay. Not deliriously happy but gay. Then I use this word a lot and people would ask me, why do you define gay like that? I don’t know. Maybe I have nothing better to do. But to me the word is so befitting that it overlaps the original definitions, hence the very regular usage.

If you want fabulous gays, here they are :
Bryanboy the original LV Prada totting superstar.
Trent, Pink is the new blog. Just absolutely hillarious, his boyfriend hot and it’s his birthday tomorrow.
Jay in London. A new discovery actually thanks to T-boy.

I love them.

So even though I do not know the real definition of confuckulated, I’ve been using the word regularly since Saturday. That was when I really gave a thought to it… well simply because it wouldn’t leave my mind! Jaime and I spent a great deal of time talking about confuckulated and when we reached Colours we both shoot off a SMS to Michael with just the word confuckulated. We don’t know why. Maybe it was brought on by the ugly low quality clothes at Colours.

Nah I love Colours. It is very… erm… colourful. They make my expensive curtains look good.

Anyway here are some snippets from our conversations :

“… bla bla bla he did this bla bla bla he did that bla bla bla and he thinks he wouldn’t get caught? Pfft that is so confuckulated!”

“bla la di la da bla he trying to gain sympathy or what? I hate it when they twist reality to fit into their little own worlds of fantasy… insecure confuckulated bastards…”

“This place is confuckulated.”

“She is such a confuckulated airhead, I want to strangle her and feed her to the dogs.”


So versatile and fits in every occasion!

It’s Monday and I got lots of shite to do, never a good start to a week. Mondays are confuckulated.

My mom is in town and she’s in the hospital puasa-ing for tomorrow’s laser op. She had a very painful manual op last October to remove some massive kidney stones, she goes to the Selayang Hospital for regular check-ups and now she has to get the residue from the last op out before they do anymore harm.

Kidney stones are so confuckulated.

MAXIS barred my line because my bill payment from Alliance on-line banking did not go through… even though they deducted RM150 from my account. How confuckulated is that?

I am going to bleed soon, I feel so fat and sad, I want to bite people. I feel so confuckulated.

Sigh. I love you all.

5 reasons why you should date suanie!

You know what? This is it. I look everywhere and everyone’s happy being part of a couple, holding hands, la-da-di-la-ing in their happy happy world of two (or more) some. Ain’t bloody well fair, I think to myself. Why aren’t I part of the action, ANY action??? Maybe it’s because of a variety of things, but in my not so humble opinion the photograph of me in The Star here smashed the cupcake.


This being the final straw, I have to take matters into my own hands. Not I want to, I HAVE TO! If not for the sake of MY happiness then at least for the sake of my friends who would be glad to have me stop bitching and whining, something which I would so not totally do IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND!

So I am launching a WORLDWIDE campaign, as wide as it would go, penetrate the four corners of earth and all that to help ME get laid a boyfriend. Or at least a date. And I am asking you, my friends to get thoroughly involved in this worthwhile cause, help the needy and so on.


I totally understand the need to provide some reasons as to why anyone would want to date me. Show cause as they say. Who is this Suanie and why date her? Well you can read all about the ‘who’ part in About Me. It’s the ‘why’ part I need to tell you because if everyone knew why, I wouldn’t be so dateless and single as I am now, would I?

Now let’s get down to business. Please spread the word. I AM love.

Five Reasons Why You Should Date Suanie

1. I am an easy-going gal and very flexible

Contrary to popular belief, I am not that fussy, really. A true Malaysian, I believe in upholding the ‘chin-cai lah’ principle and often go to great lengths to exercising it. What do I want for dinner? Anything. What movie do I want to watch? Anything. Which colour I like best, blue or red? Anything.

This does not mean that I do not have my own opinions. It’s just that sometimes I feel too much argument leads to nowhere but splitsville. What does it matter if I drink teh tarik or teh O ais? At the end of the day it’s just to quench my thirst, right? So long we all happy happy get along together hold hand and all, I mean, all these are small and quite insignificant matters. Not like you are asking me if I want to buy a single or double storey house, right?

At the best of times, I know what is important and what is not important. I know when and when not to be flexible.

But I do not drink San Miguel.

2. I give you your space

I understand that everyone’s got his or her own life. I too have my own life to lead, got things to take care of, family and friends to see. I am not the type to totally cram your lifestyle just because we are together as a couple. Being the understanding person that I am, I know that being together does not mean having to do everything together. Sure I want to do things to WITH you, but I know that there are some things you need to do by yourself. Like going to the toilet. Or going out with the boys. Or seeing your ex-girlfriend for a casual meet-up.

Haha, just kidding.

No, seriously.

3. I am an affectionate, loving person

Underneath this tough leathery rubber exterior is a warm-blooded passionate affectionate romantic sentimental girl who is not afraid to express it. When you are down I hold your hand. When you feel like moaning I have a shoulder for ya. When you need a hug, look no further. I embrace PDA but I won’t go OTT.

You should be so lucky.

4. I am in touch with my feminine side

You know like how some girls get cheesed off if you open the door for them? “Oh you think I cannot open my own door is it, you chauvinist pig?” Well, Suanie is not like that. Suanie truly appreciates gentlemanly conduct and loves it if you open or hold a door for her. You want to buy me a drink? Why, that is very kind of you (beer only please), thank you.

And I can actually cook. If I want to.

Sometimes I squeal and simper, sometimes I skip a bit, sometimes I giggle. I ADORE wearing skirts, the more layers the better. I look good in high heels.

Heck, I look good in ANYTHING! Talk about versatility!

5. I’m just FUN to be with!

I know it’s a bit cliche to say this, but I am really fun to be with! I can crack silly jokes, I can be a smart ass, I can go serious ala Jeff Ooi, metamorphose be my middle name. I am not afraid to try new things. New adventures? Sign me up please.


And I love kids. Really, I do.

So how was that for reasons? Good enough? Of course they are! What are you waiting for??? If I don’t get a date after this, gosh there must be something REALLY wrong with this world! You want to talk about the changing of society? Society would be DAMNED if I don’t get a boyfriend! It would be like… like… the end of the world! And.. and… aliens and stuff!



If you have a website/blog I would truly appreciate your help in getting me laid a boyfriend. A GUY OF MY OWN! IMAGINE THAT!!! OOoo the excitement runneth my cuppeth!

So I have made some banners and stuff that you could put on your blog, even if it’s just one post. I understand that not everybody think that I’m totally hot (what’s wrong with you???) so I made some variations of the banners. Democracy? Hah, I AM DEMOCRACY!!!

If you think I’m HOT :

Date Suanie - Banner 1

If you think I’m JUST OK:

Date Suanie - Banner 2

If you think I’m UGLY:

Date Suanie - Banner 3

The world will SOOOO be a BETTER PLACE if Suanie has a boyfriend!!!

Date Suanie - Banner 4

It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out!


control your kids, dammit!

So I was having dinner at a Korean restaurant in Sri Hartamas with my mom and sister, catching up as always seeing that we don’t meet that often.

Halfway through our wonderful dinner of kimchi and bbq-ed beef, the table next to ours was filled by a young family. This means kids, old enough to walk around without assistance, very young still hence they were yodeling at the top of their little lungs.

These little horrors proceeded to run around the wooden floor jumping and squealing and basically being insensitive little tykes. The parents, other than a few half-hearted words of wrath decided to let their little godzillas roam around the little space kicking the wooden floor that made it very uncomfortable for other patrons like ME, coz we were all sitting on the same blasted floor Korean style.

Then how? My sister said that at this point the kids would not pay any attention to adults; they have each other to encourage them in this ruckus. So we being the wiser ones have to grin and tolerate.

But that is so damn bloody unfair, don’t you think? When I go out I do not impose my childishness/willfulness on other people… unless they bloody well deserve it. But when it comes to kids, we ALL have to bear with them.

WE ALL have to tolerate, live and let live and all that new age psychobabble ohm-ing nonsense shit.

Why do I have to be PUNISHED just because some people can’t be arsed to use CONDOMS?!?!?


Then you come lay all the bloody problems on society influence bla bla nah nah bleh bleh gfy.


Fucking lil’ tykes… I fucking hate tykes.

saham plunged by the star

As you may know, I just came back yesterday. I didn’t know about The Star’s In-Tech article until FA sms-ed me and told me. And again as you may know, it is rather difficult to purchase a copy of The Star in Singapore. So I had no idea what the article was about, I had no idea which photo appeared etc UNTIL 5 mins ago when I went to


There it is again, my full name in print but that’s not the horrifying mofo thingjamony.


The Star InTech PPS bash
Photo curi-ed from Huai Bin

I think my saham just plunged and reached rock-bottom. I am ugly but I am not that ugly!!!


This cannot do… this cannot do at all..

Must… think… of… solution… to…. cover… damage… done…

back from singapore

Getting better now, cheers ๐Ÿ˜€

I met up with the Ed and he brought me to this place called Paulaner. The Ed’s a premium member of that place and one of the perks is that he gets to drink from ‘his own’ mug.

Edwin hearts his Paulaner... mug

Me being just the tourist drinks from the ordinary glass but it wasn’t so bad; actually it was GREAT!

My first introduction to Paulaner

We also had sausages… they were YUMMY!


I like the third one from the left the most. The first from the right ain’t bad either. But the second from the right’s got girth! W00t!!!

*snaps back to reality”

Suanie and Edwin in Singapore 02

Suanie and Edwin in Singapore 01

I also went to this club called ‘Thumper’. The resident band was SO FUCKING GOOD, WHY OUR KL NIGHT SPOTS NEVER HIRE PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY SING?!?!?!?

When I felt better I did some shopping. Bought books, some clothes, this that.

Back from shopping (but it ain't mine)

Hahaha nah those weren’t mine. But it’s fun to pretend.

Back to normality.