tourism malaysia? hello? (part 2)

Bitches… ‘Coming soon’ means that I was too not sober last night to properly reply. By the way Kiwi Express at Hartamas serves cheap beer and good food.

First of all, I do not mind development that much. If they wish to upgrade the area I am all for it. As the MP Fong Kai Lun said herself, “There is no point in upgrading one part of the area and neglecting other sections.”

Better lighting, better safety measures and if the plans go well, then more park benches. And stuff.

So if you want to feel safer walking down the street back to your house, you can. At the cost of a tourism spot nearby your house, that is. After all, someone’s got to pay.

But that is not really my point.

This is not a racial thing. There are a lot of Malaysians with Arab blood, I do not mean or intend to offend any of you. The first thought that came into my mind upon reading the news was associated with the direction our tourism is heading.

And this is not going to be a long ranty post about the whole deal. It’s being implemented, it’s done, people will have to live with it whether or not they like it.

Of course we must cater to those who bring the money. But since it is very obvious that it is being catered to the visiting Arabs during their summer time, then the reason is deeply rooted in tourism.

But is it just me or is Malaysian tourism losing her identity? What IS our identity anyway? The Petronas Twin Towers? Most of us are short arses. Chinatown? We all love pirated goods so yeah, maybe that is an identity. It seems that we try to cater to everyone that we are losing our uniqueness.

People come here for a reason. When they go home to their countries, I would like it if they remember Malaysia as having warm and friendly folks instead of having a little Venice somewhere in town.

So if they got the money to spruce up places, why not start with what we already have? The dangling lights at Chinatown are getting kind of old. The line of steel grills to the old railway station is broken and rusty. The old railway station itself is not very clean. Neither is Jalan Alor. Colours of Malaysia is a good concept, why not expand it? Clean up Jonker’s Street while you are at it. Spend more money on the Sepilok rehab centre.

When was the last time you went to the National Museum? It is a national joke.

Really, so many things that could be done.

Kim commented :

“Most chinatowns did not have roots traced back to tourism. It’s just an inevitable thing to happen when there is an influx of Chinese, they set the shops up and everything. They have to make a living. That they become a tourist attraction is basically it’s always been a part of the country.

Now malaysia trying to set up an Arab square so that Arabian tourists would feel more at home? The thing is if they wanted to feel at home they would stay at home. I raised euro disney earlier because it was a failure. They emulated everything European in the park when they started. Nobody went coz what the hell for they grew up in it anyway. Then they realised their mistake and turned it into everything Americana and Mcdonalds. Now only they’re recovering the losses from previous cockup.”

This is similar to a joke I’d heard ages ago.

A man checked into a hotel and told the manager, “I hope I have a pleasant stay.” The manager beamed and proclaimed loudly, “Of course sir, at our hotel we like our guests to feel as if they were home.” Naturally he was a little crushed and dismayed when the man proceeded to cancel his reservation and asked why. The man replied, “If I wanted to feel like home, I would have stayed there!”

tourism malaysia? hello?

This is regarding the Arab Square to be (or is being?) implemented around the Bukit Bintang area.

If memory serves me right, it was reported in the dailies a couple of weeks ago; I wanted to write about it then but sort of got sidetracked.

I also don’t read the dailies on a regular basis, so I don’t really know the outcome of the whole thing. But I thought the whole concept was a bit off.

Here’s how it basically went :

It’s June!

June? So what?

Summer!

Then how?

Ninjas!

It should just stop at there, right? But no…

Ninjas? Good! Tourism up!

Not enough! We need an Arab Square.

What the fuck is an Arab Square?

Something that will be squeezed in the middle of a massively popular tourist spot with all things Arab “to make them feel like home!” (“quote unquote”)

Total awesomeness! Get it done, get it done now, do not give a fuck about the residents’ concerns, “we can’t help it that the Arabs like to stay up late anyway”.

What the…

Something is very wrong… and it is not just the lack of logic and common sense.

When I was at Hong Kong, I did not see a ‘Malaysian Square’ anywhere. I didn’t expect to see one either. Why not? Well for starters, if I had wanted to see a little Malaysia in Hong Kong, I might as well save all the trouble and just plonk my ass where it is now.

Similarly if I were in London at the Trafalgar Square, I would not expect to see a ‘Malaysian Square’ in the shape of a massive white tent with kebaya-clad chicks ‘selamat datang-ing’ me with their hand on their hearts. Why? Because it is London! Not Kuala Lumpur! I don’t want a Malaysian Square in London! No kebaya! No selamat datang! I want London in London! Even Eurotrip’s highly Americanised version also tak apa!

Why doesn’t the government hire me to be the minister of tourism? I keep telling people that I am destined for greater things in life… someday… and yet nobody believes me. Then when something like this comes up, who hide their faces in shame?

YOU!

Now, vote for me.

you love us, you really love us!

SMS action at 10.25 a.m.

me : Just woke up.
Peter : Yao mo kao chor?

Sorry ar for being late. Slept at 5 a.m. the same morning because I was out with friends at a club that I will try not to go to again, unless they fire the DJ and hire someone who will revolutionise Malaysia’s RnB clubbing scene.

Or give me free beer AND let me go upstairs where they play real music.

I reached at 11.40 a.m. because I only really dragged myself out of bed at 10.50 a.m. Then shower, dress, pan leng leng, drive, park the car…

The first person I saw was Irene. Nah, she saw me first. Then Petey and Wuan. Then quite a bit of people, some familiar and some not so familiar; couldn’t remember names to faces for the first couple of hours – hardly surprising since I was not yet fully awake.

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - IreneQ and Suanie

Crapzesdoom, the resemblance!

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - Suanie with Peter Tan close up

Then he got vain and said that he looked better without the glasses.

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - Suanie with Peter Tan

And I found out the real reason for the food court was because there were so many people, hence everyone could feed everyone else without everyone everyone else else lifting an eyebrow.

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - Charlie feeds Peter Tan a piece of fruit

Actually this was what the scene was like…

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - The people

With people taking photos of each other.

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - Dusty Hawk

Eyeris summed up the meet here. In fact you should really click on the link because he diligently took down (almost) everyone’s name and URLS, if any.

And SK’s complete (I think) list of the attendees here! And a bit after lunch a dude with a goatee that sways to the right was around, I thought the goatee was quite something.

It was good meeting all of you. If I seemed a bit quiet, it was because I lacked sleep. Also I said before that I am very shy in real life what. You all don’t believe me, your pasal lah. This blog has no money back guarantee on the real product.

Maybe with some alcohol in my blood stream it would be different. I hear that Charlie’s Place serves beer.

Parting shot :

Midvalley Bloggers Meet June 2005 - Peter Tan

See you all soon!

And let me be the first to suggest name tags for everyone at the PPS bash. Can?

250 characters with spaces

I wonder why people continue to try their luck against all odds. In my case it’s not as important as say, gaining world peace but show some respect will ya?

When it says (in red bold font, no less) 250 characters maximum with spaces, it means exactly that. It’s not 250 words, it’s not 250 seconds of my time that you wasted, it’s not rocket science. It simply means, give me your description in not more than 250 characters WITH spaces INCLUDED.

Still they send long irrelevant paragraphs detailing useless things like how wonderful and great they are. I doubt they would ever realise that nobody really gives a shit.

Then again if I were to hire a consultant for the field that I am in, I wouldn’t want to hire someone who can’t read e-mails and does not understand ’250 characters maximum with spaces’.

I wouldn’t moan so much if not for the fact that I have to cut, snip and edit their 1000 characters. I’m sorry if 250 characters with spaces don’t sound like much but it’s a free listing so either pay up or play by the rules.

The most you get away with is maybe 260 chars with spaces. But at what cost? Suanie’s hate that is.

Time wasting ohm-ing illiterates…

Blah.

A weird thing happened. I said before that I am normally mildly depressed and apathetic for 18 days in a month. But that hasn’t happened for a long long time…. 2 months maybe?

I can’t possibly be happy, can I?

afflictions afflictions afflictions

I bet your nipples that you have heard of Feng Shui at least in one way or the other. Some people think that Feng Shui is all about placing disfigured frogs in some corner and pair of ducks in the other. Some people think that Feng Shui is about walking the mountains, studying the environment, getting directions. Some people think that Feng Shui is bullshit.

Whatever you think, I bet that very few if none of you have heard of Feng Shui Sex.

Now bear in mind that this method is not affliated with anybody nor associations. I know that some people who read my site know where I work and all so the disclaimer here is that, this is purely my own invention.

That’s right. After years of working and studying whatever resources is available to her (which is massive) Suanie has finally come up with a Chinese metaphysical way to improve your sex life. Rejoice, rejoice; there is hope for you after all, my young padawans!

Since it is a newly found method, so to speak, I cannot reveal everything. But I can tell you the gist of it… to create interest what… like how production houses release trailers to spark your interest… there is a reason they call it teasers.

For that reason, I can’t tell you how it works exactly but I can tell you how it will end up.

Feng Shui Sex!

Oh my god, oh yes, OH YES! No move to the North 0.5 degrees! Oh… mmm that’s it, that’s it… Oh fuck me fuck me harder! Wait, North 1 340 degrees now, now, now!!! OWWWWWW!!!!! Oh baby mmmm oh yesss!!! 350 degrees 350 degrees!!! Reach for 353 degrees!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Turn around go South now! NOW! MMM OH MY GOD!!! NO NO NO!!! South 3, 195 degrees you idiot! Yes that’s it THAT’S IT!!! DING DING DING* HERE I COMEE!!!! Come with MEEEE!!! Shoot it shoot it baby SHOOT AT KUN** GUA!!! CUM all over my Southwest 2 baby!!!

Exciting, isn’t it? Aren’t you at least intrigued already?

Now associate that with the person who always goes “AFFLICTIONS AFFLICTIONS AFFLICTIONS” every year on paid TV and you will lose all zest for sex, become a monk hence making the world a better place.

Right. I’m off to do serious work.

* Ding is Yin Fire, also known as South 3.
**Kun is Earth, also known as Southwest 2.
***Yes, I was just kidding.

pps 2nd anniversary bash! bash me!

Shake yer bon bon Shake yer bon bon Shake yer bon bon…

The PPS 2nd Anniversary bash is going to be held at a place I’d never been to, located on a street I’d never heard of, but heyyyyy it’s alllllrrrrighttttttt.

I’d already said I’d go, signed up and everything and I shall be bringing ONE MYSTERY GUEST!

Actually the person is not really shrouded in veils of mystery but it sounds more exciting that way.

The last I checked, a lot more people are confirming their attendance, so you bet it’s not going to be a small quiet dinner.

WHO IS COMING?!

Lots of people stuck in KL and lots of out-of-towners! There’s minishorts, Gabriella, IreneQQQ, luciala, eyeris, return of the Mack, Kenny Sia, da 6th Seal and many many many many many more!

When is this going to happen, you ask?

Well people, make your calendars free for :

Date for Project Petaling Street 2nd Anniversary party

You can get more details from the sign-up page.

EVERYBODY CUMMMMMMM COMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

Now when it’s a party (or gathering if you will, same thing), one of the main things to fret about is, WHAT TO WEAR?!?

This question has been playing around in my mind ever since I decided to go. As you know, choice of clothing is of utmost importance as the first impression is almost always the decider on whether or not you get talked to. You know lah… sort of like bloggers’ meeting like that, everyone with or without something to say will most certainly say it. I sure as hell do not want to get lost within the crowd, even more to be left hanging alone and ignored like a wilted wallflower. So you can see how very important this is, not just for me but for everyone else. If you haven’t given two hoots about it before, I suggest that you start worrying now.

But this is about me, right? So I had definitely given the matter A LOT of thought – more than a few restless nights than I care to admit, and finally came up with a few options for the evening.

First of all I want to be seen as welcoming. Even though I am not the host – actually I am not anyone important there but the idea is to create the illusion that I am important! And important people are always going around looking cool but totally approachable, definitely a sort of welcoming note embedded within their aura. That is why people go up and talk to them and that is how they become important and popular.

So I think I will give my ‘fuck off’ aura a rest for the night and go with ‘come talk to me me me me me!’ To achieve this, let me introduce to you something that has not seen the light for many many moons…

The Curtain

Don’t I look so welcoming already?

And to add to my beckoning allure, the curtain is designed to fit in as many people as possible!

Okay, maybe that is too in-yer-face. Some people might prefer a softer approach, like casual jeans but still totally cool. But since my ‘fuck off’ aura is precedently strong, maybe cartoons might make people see that, hey! I’m so warm and friendly and nice and all that jazz! Not because they are childish shy but maybe they need a topic so they could break the ice!

I’ve so already thought of that.

I’m so on your similar ground, dude!

The umbrella is on hand in case you are an umbrella fan. See, I think of EVERYTHING!

What a grand welcoming gesture! On the other hand it could be me constipating, but let’s not go there.

Or how about black? Everybody loves black. Black is so in. And black and white is totally sweet! Word!

Maximum loving y’all!

I ain’t got no bling but that don’t mean we ain’t getting crunked up!

‘Coz I’m a cool person. Like, totally. And if you ain’t gonna chea I’m gonna shoot the five outta ya. Biatch.

When there’s black there MUST be white! It’s like an unspoken thing, the Yin the Yang, the Michael Jackson. So how could I disappoint???

The green thing is from Escada some more ok…

What does white do? White represents what?

JUSTICE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS OF COURSE!!!

You can crack your heads thinking what that was but don’t hurt yourself.

Or maybe I could represent KL herself! A touch of old fashioned traditions and a wave of new culture! That would be like totally cool to be able to say “OI! I AM OLD AND NEW AT THE SAME TIME!” Then all these people see mehh, then they WAHHHHH by golly she is SO in TOUCH with MALAYSIA TODAY!

And I could provide entertainment during the bash as well! Of course my skills are not what they used to be but heck! Santana has to call ME sifu!

A stroke of brilliance, that was.

Perhaps cute and adorable might cut it? I mean, it’s not my usual platinum rampant rabbit to simper and whine in saccharine overkill mode BUT for the sake of PPS’s bash I WILL DO IT! O the mighty sacrifice to please and pander to all odds and ends in our picky finicky blogosphere!

Is that a simultaneous ‘oohhh ahhhhh awwwww’ that I hear? No it isn’t loud enough. Let’s raise the stakes. After all if you are going to die of sweetness overdose at our first meeting you might as well get a heart attack, either from utter happiness or incomprehensible shock.

R-I-P.

That was totally cute though.

And the last option is of course the colour RED. The Chinese say ang ang very lucky mah.

Who knows I might get lucky leh?

But then it might not be such a good idea. I mean, red is also a danger/keep out/hazard/warning sign what.

Decisions decisions…

No-lah, seriously if you see me there, just ignore me. I very shy one.

So come ah…