afflictions afflictions afflictions
I bet your nipples that you have heard of Feng Shui at least in one way or the other. Some people think that Feng Shui is all about placing disfigured frogs in some corner and pair of ducks in the other. Some people think that Feng Shui is about walking the mountains, studying the environment, getting directions. Some people think that Feng Shui is bullshit.
Whatever you think, I bet that very few if none of you have heard of Feng Shui Sex.
Now bear in mind that this method is not affliated with anybody nor associations. I know that some people who read my site know where I work and all so the disclaimer here is that, this is purely my own invention.
That’s right. After years of working and studying whatever resources is available to her (which is massive) Suanie has finally come up with a Chinese metaphysical way to improve your sex life. Rejoice, rejoice; there is hope for you after all, my young padawans!
Since it is a newly found method, so to speak, I cannot reveal everything. But I can tell you the gist of it… to create interest what… like how production houses release trailers to spark your interest… there is a reason they call it teasers.
For that reason, I can’t tell you how it works exactly but I can tell you how it will end up.
Feng Shui Sex!
Oh my god, oh yes, OH YES! No move to the North 0.5 degrees! Oh… mmm that’s it, that’s it… Oh fuck me fuck me harder! Wait, North 1 340 degrees now, now, now!!! OWWWWWW!!!!! Oh baby mmmm oh yesss!!! 350 degrees 350 degrees!!! Reach for 353 degrees!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Turn around go South now! NOW! MMM OH MY GOD!!! NO NO NO!!! South 3, 195 degrees you idiot! Yes that’s it THAT’S IT!!! DING DING DING* HERE I COMEE!!!! Come with MEEEE!!! Shoot it shoot it baby SHOOT AT KUN** GUA!!! CUM all over my Southwest 2 baby!!!
Exciting, isn’t it? Aren’t you at least intrigued already?
Now associate that with the person who always goes “AFFLICTIONS AFFLICTIONS AFFLICTIONS” every year on paid TV and you will lose all zest for sex, become a monk hence making the world a better place.
Right. I’m off to do serious work.
* Ding is Yin Fire, also known as South 3.
**Kun is Earth, also known as Southwest 2.
***Yes, I was just kidding.
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tell me it isn’t her who’s doing the Feng Shui Sex thing. Gosh. I thikn it’s all about common sense lah this Feng Shui. Chinese people really know how to make money. No offence to Feng Shui believer.
I need to be feng Shui-ed right away baby!!!
OMG, need myself a compass for that kind of sex
LOL. suanie, i’ll take yr feng shui skills anytime over lillian too
you’re evil, i lost all sex drive……… NOT
i still go for kamasutera… agree with diah .. need compass for that kind of sex ..
Best way to improve anyones sex life … get them laid! Beats Feng Shui method. Why you talking to vibrator anyway?
Wooops … that comment’s going to get me fired isn’t it! Darn!
From my memory, (and I am an old man, so my memory may not be that good), sex is a lot longer, and doesn’t involve the Feng Shui directions.
Cum all over your southwest 2 … your Earth … darn, I thought that white stuff falling from the sky was snow! Ewwwwww! What have I been skiing on? Ewwwwwww!
I wonder if Lillian Too practices the same thing… hmm…
i wonder does that fengshui lady have sex that way?
S-Kay: Chinese people sure know how to make money because all that decorative stuff is not Feng Shui, but Chinese culture. Classical Feng Shui leh… not that easy lah.
Jaime: hehehehe… I bet you are one of the few who fully appreciates ‘Ding ding ding’.
diah: Just install a huge one on your ceiling, easy.
oliviasy: come, I’m happy to lead you astray.
KY: hehehe
jack: you REALLY know kamasutra meh?
dabido: hmm u need help
cmos and lucia: I honestly do not know, and I honestly do not want to know!
With Lilian Too’s voice, I don’t even dare to imagine Lilian moaning and groaning in bed…if she still gets laid.
Feng shui sex? No problemo. I got my strong compass right here. Any place it points to has got to be north. So don’t ask me to fuck south. Can’t do that.
You offering to help Suanie?
My sudden fear of skiing … or help other area?
i’m gonna get a ba gua luo pan made into a large piece of foldable paper thingy which i can hang from the ceiling and viewable when lying on the bed
oooooooo yeahhhhh … gimme feng shui sex babyyyyy! rofl
Galvin: eh who knows…
viewtru: east or west then? by your definition it’s got to be weird.
dabido: no, don’t want to get involved ty
pinky: chinese are all superstitious (which means they are almost always nutters.. LIKE U!!! nyah nyah nyah)
I dig it
you are too funny
hehe ty ty
So , I am really bad with numbers does that mean I am doomed to enjoy sex with just actual words? Because I don’t want to be left, oooooh you should make a Feng Shui Sex for Dummies manual yo!!!!!! Get cracking horn dog!!
cybersex was created with you in mind
“JOM! SEX!” lolrof
hahahhahaha… you make my day lah… feng shui sex!!! next thing you know they’ll make a 3 legged frog dildo!
hey suanie, is there any feng shui method to get someone laid?? no point talking about feng shui sex when that person DOES NOT EVEN GET ANYWHERE NEAR HAVING SEX, no?
by the way, can this be done in the water???
I sense a desperate case here.. not as much as FA case..
FA: TAK NAK!
ah seng: that is actually not a bad idea…
TBG: there ARE ways to increase your chances of meeting people but whether you wanna be laid by them or not is your decision lah
Water, land, sand, mountain, stone, anywhere. Just get a sun dial.
*smacks Jack*
laugh my young padawan, retribution is nearer than you can imagine..muhhahahaha…180 north, 34 south ? muhahahhaha…..better eat slower while chewing rice
Guess I’ll live with my fear of skiing then! But just remember, YOU ARE TO BLAME!
errr….char bor ….. u r chinese too ….nyah nyah nyah :p