Archive for March, 2005

i’m a fucking cuss happy bitch

This is the second part of the mind-edifying brainless motherfucker of a challenge.

FA is a fucking cunt.

But I love that slutty ho of an ass that she is.

Since I’m a fucking cheat I’m just gonna copy her lame piece of shit but still fuckingly annoyingly wonderful post.

The whole fucking world posted about the fucking earthquake.

*fucking acknowledges earthquake*

*fucking disses whiny ass idiots, you silently know who your shitty ass of a pathetic self that you are*

I know that I am going to be hated and bitched about, but to all you back-bitching morons who don’t have the fucking guts to say it in front of me, I only have one single fucking thing to say to you fucking pitiful cibais :

How do you like it

KISS MY CELLULITE-RIDDEN LUMPY ASS YOU PATHETIC MOTHER FUCKERS!

That’s more than you deserve you fucking hypocrite cunt lickers.

More angry hell-riding thoughts from this shitty mind at 6 fucking p.m.

Fucking Nazis with swastikas that fucking ripped off the Buddhism peace symbol that makes all those fucking mindless driving-straight-to-conclusion shit eaters think we fucking Buddhists are a bunch of fucking trippin’ hippies with .45 stuck in our anals.

Goat fucking DJs who can’t spin a proper tune at clubs and expect us to dance to their mindless drivels they call music; GO FOR FUCKING CLASSES YOU ASSHOLES!

Hate. Burn. Angry sex. Fire. Stupid lame mamaks who overcharge for teh-o-ais limau. Morons. Hell. Idiots. Cunts. Piss heads. Hate. Burn. Angry sex. Fire. Stupid lame mamaks who overcharge for teh-o-ais limau. Morons. Hell. Idiots. Cunts. Piss heads. Hate. Burn. Angry sex. Fire. Stupid lame mamaks who overcharge for teh-o-ais limau. Morons. Hell. Idiots. Cunts. Piss heads. Hate. Burn. Angry sex. Fire. Stupid lame mamaks who overcharge for teh-o-ais limau. Morons. Hell. Idiots. Cunts. Piss heads. Hate. Burn. Angry sex. Fire. Stupid lame mamaks who overcharge for teh-o-ais limau. Morons. Hell. Idiots. Cunts. Piss heads.

There, I’m fucking done.

NOW SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT 12 INCH BLACK COCK!

look here my indonesian neighbours

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE LAND DISPUTE!

But when you go around burning my country’s flags,

IT’S JUST SO FUCKING NOT ON!

Perhaps in your misguided patriotism you misunderstood the Indonesia diplomat in Malaysia.

But the fella ONLY apologised for the acts of his fellow countrymen who burn and trample the Malaysian flag.

He NEVER apologised for any cock fucked up land disputes whatsoever.

I’m SICK of you WIENERS wasting your time, energy and effort barking up the wrong tree.

GET A GRIP, WRITE FORMAL COMPLAINTS TO MALAYSIA, PROTEST PEACEFULLY, WRITE 10000 REASONS WHY THE LAND BELONGS TO INDONESIA AND SEND IT TO TIME MAGAZINE, WHATEVER!

Because your KURANG AJAR JUVENILE flag burning antics are not going to endear you to ANY MALAYSIAN MOFO!

I’d like to see you try that in, say U.K.

THEN you will see what they do to you if you burn the Union Jack.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, BE CIVILISED!

That’s the only way you are going to get your point across.

the pepsi test

I have actually wanted to do this for a while, but my housemates and I are often very thirsty. In total I have bought and re-bought all these different cans 4 times now.

Here we go.

pepsi x

Pepsi X - Energy Cola. It is actually sort of dark reddish colour and it tasted like something I have never tasted before. Sometimes that is not a good thing. Cool design, though sort of misleading you into thinking that hey! this might actually taste good. And where does the energy come from? Oh, the immediate effort to rush to the nearest garbage bin.

pepsi fire

Pepsi Fire - Cola on Fire. I do not understand the relevance between a raspberry/uglyberry flavoured cola and a Mother Nature’s element, but if it is meant to provide a burning sensation when you have consumed the cola, it failed miserably. Also overwhelmingly sweet; the colouring doesn’t really help.

I have seen the Pepsi ad for Pepsi Fire and Pepsi Ice, where a boy and a girl saves an assembly from being burned to oblivion by a misguided effort of two kids. If it is Yin and Yang they wish to portray, bravo. Now let’s get back to the ad where Beyonce is drinking Pepsi in a half-naked state.

pepsi ice

Pepsi Ice - Ice Mint Cola. The first thing you notice is the colour of the drink. Sure, every cola contains ‘permitted colouring and flavouring’ but may I gently remind Pepsi’s marketing department that consumers do not really like to think about all that artificial stuff unless it is staring at them in the face. Such is the case of one woeful Pepsi Ice, used to be called Pepsi Blue (for very obvious reasons). Nevertheless if they are looking for word association, may I suggest Pepsi Sky? Pepsi Ocean? Pepsi River? Pepsi Longkang?

pepsi twist

Pepsi Twist - This is not really new though the headlines are. It screams at you, double the lemon taste! and somewhere on the can it says, double shot. A double lemon taste it is, for like everything else it is all flavouring. For 135.5mg calories, 33.44mg carbohydrate, 33.44mg total sugars and 36.48 caffeine, you get a salty cola. Not bad for RM1.05.

pepsi twist light

Pepsi Twist Light, only 36.48mg caffeine. It sucks.

pepsi light

Pepsi Light - 32.5mg caffeine and a shit loads of aspartame. It still sucks.

pepsi original

Pepsi - The original, the mother of ‘em all. It doesn’t taste half bad especially when there is no choice.

But…

coke

Give me a Coke anytime.

Which one do you hate/ love the most?

gypsies

I want to live in a caravan
With yellow painted doors and a chimney so rusty blue
Drawn by a handsome pony up front
His coat a gleaming brown, his eyes gentle and kind
Aries be his name, a burden so great he bears
Yet never in solitary for his lifelong company is me

I want to live in a caravan
Not confined, not restricted as a free person should be
When the days are bright and the clouds are banished
These are the days I truly cherish
For the green grass spread out so far is my haven
Glad be my heart and my worries thin
I shall run and laugh and skip and sing
Of songs of plants and moss and leaves
Fresh they be from the morning dew
A sight so precious yet seen by too few

A gentle breeze caresses my face, calling for dusk
The sun bids farewell, the moon smiles at last
The land is near silent but for our caravans
The chirping crickets add to the musicals of insects and men
Wood crackles in the spitting bonfire near where I lay
With all my beautiful friends so merry and gay
A fine instrument of strings we pluck and play
Singing songs of comfort and friendships and passing days
When the fire dims and the songs run low
The sandman is king until the morning crow

And when my body succumbs to the calls of the years
Ending my days of running and laughing like a little girl
A large yellow cloth I shall sprawl
On the green grass underneath a tree so sturdy and tall
A book in my hands bearing the tales of the world
Yet none seem so fair than my caravan and travels for sure
A soft breeze rustles the leaves shaking off the dry golds and browns
Whispering sighs of a different note yet in sync they sound
On withered limbs I stand, my grey hair flowing free
Looking beyond the horizon and there I see
Another adventure ahead which I must adjourn
To a final destination, a point of no return
Though too great a price to pay it seems
The wind tells me everlasting peace it will bring

Roamed the earth I have
Traveled far and wide I have
In Aries and my caravan I trust
No more than what I had shall I ask.

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

I thought I should explain a little more about this ‘poem’, if you will. Like all the best manuscripts (ahem) I wrote it on pen and paper, took perhaps a week and a half to really sit down and think of what I want to say.

When I was little I read Enid Blyton’s Mr. Galliano’s Circus series over and over again. The first book was about little Jimmy and his family being asked to join the circus and they moved into a caravan. Like most of Blyton’s books (Faraway Tree, Wishing Chair etc) I was caught up in the dreamy almost mystical unreal world that captures a child’s imagination. The traveling circus and caravans were stuck in my head for a very long time.

Basically ‘Gypsies’ is a sketchy desire for freedom. The idea of being utterly free and not tied down to anything more than what is necessarily appeals greatly to me. From Enid Blyton and a lot of childhood imaginations, being free involves fields of green, a host of Mother Nature and a great deal of seeing the world.

The thing is, we all know that such absolute freedom does not exist. As ST plainly said, “remember you have to shit in a bucket and live by the side of the highway.” Even gypsies had more than societal problems. So forever will it remain an ideal.

It has to be that way because we have seen the effects of those who imposed their definition of freedom to the world. What happened later was, it went back to bite them in their arses. However so caught up they were with their own beliefs that a vicious cycle thus came into place; destruction, destruction, more destruction and self-righteousness on both or more sides. A little imagination can be a terrifying thing.

Nevertheless imagination also fuels the human spirit to either undo what they have done, or reach a pact of understanding between various cultures and societies. Two quotes from two movies illustrates this : from Spiderman “With great power comes great responsibility” and from Lord of the Rings “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us”.

Power, time and responsibility. It is up to you on how you would use it.

Don’t bug me, I’m a dreamer :)

Besides I would never name my horse Aries.

banana fritters

This is something cute from my 16 year old days. I just added a few more lines to make it sound not like a 16 year old. The rough English translation is as below.

.::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::. .::.

pisang goreng

Goreng pisang fried bananas
Here take this one, ini masih panas
My fried bananas are good to eat
Tepung pun garing senang digigit
Pisang ini pisang nangka
Oh yes it is as sweet as gula melaka
Sekali cuba nak lagi rasa
Don’t eat one eat two
Because if you eat one
You will want to eat two
Tentumu tak puas makan satu
Satu tak cukup, makan dulu
Kalau nak goreng lagi kena tunggu
Lepas makan jangan lupa bayar
Because if you don’t nanti aku cucuk tayar
If you can’t drive home aku gelak ketawa
Tulah, nak makan free, padan muka.

(Banana fritters, banana fritters
Here take this one, it is still hot
My fried bananas are good to eat
The flour is crispy it’s easy to bite into
This is the ‘nangka’ type banana
Oh yes it is as sweet as gula melaka
Once you tried it you would want more
Don’t just have one, have two
Because if you have one
You would want two
You won’t be satisfied with just one
Finish eating the first one even if it is not enough
If I were to fry more bananas you would have to wait
After you are done eating do not forget to pay
Because if you don’t pay I would bust your tyres
If you can’t drive home I would just laugh at you
Serves you right for wanting my fried bananas for free)

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